Bachelor in Paradise episode 12 recap: JUST LEAVE ALREADY
WE’RE 12 episodes in and everyone on the Bachelor in Paradise island all want this one whiny muppet to go home.
Entertainment
Don't miss out on the headlines from Entertainment. Followed categories will be added to My News.
SO first of all let me just apologise if the tone of this one is a little off … my preview screener doesn’t have music so it’s literally just talking and silence. Without the music telling me how to feel, I don’t know what I’m feeling.
Unlike Megan (HELLOOO SEGUE), who despite being initially torn and confused between Thomas and Jake, had a lil nap, a lil cry, let her horniness subside and now she’s like yup, I want Jakey.
CATCH UP ON RECENT BACHELOR IN PARADISE RECAPS:
EPISODE 11: WHO’S THAT SMOOCHING?
EPISODE 10: THE MOST LIT EP YET
EPISODE 9: CATFIGHT OVER MAGIC MAN
He’s very relieved and they kiss and make up. I’m not sure but it seems on this island if you want to strengthen a bond, simply carry out an unfaithful deed and you’ll be right as rain!
Megan tells Thomas who was completely confident after their deep chat and deep connection and how deep they went in the water (STOP SAYING DEEP DUDE), is let down by Megan. She says her time with him was deep but not fun and if that’s not a lesson for all men …. It’s rejection island all over again, but he won’t let his feelings out this time — last time he did that he was forced to bathe with three other men — instead, he’ll target one of the remaining ladies to forcefully connect with, since he has a rose.
The Rachael and Leah drama continues. Tarz tells the camera Leah has been threatening to leave all week and everyone is just screaming LEAVE. Not even metaphorically, Keira, Tara and Simone all just tell her to leave. Tarz even says she’ll call the damn Fuber herself (Fijian Uber guys, get it. Both she and I laughed a little too hard at that one).
Apparently Grant has been avoiding Ali, which is freaking her out. These two have been a little too solid/happy. It’s very un-Paradise-ish. Why isn’t Osher meddling here! Grant leads her away and she’s freaking out. He must be too because he is sweating profusely from his butt crack.
Just when it’s getting interesting Grant sweeps her into a bear hug and HOLY BUTT CRACK THEY EXCHANGE L-BOMBS. AFTER LIKE FIVE DAYS. This little blonde psychopath says she would DIE for him. What the hell is going on?! Have they forgotten they live on different continents?!
PS... not to ruin anything but these two are also not following each other on Instagram and Grant has even posted a pic with Leah but not Ali. Something happens here. Sorry, not to kill the buzz or anything (Read: If I’m not loved up, nobody can be!! Except Sammy and Tarz luv u guys).
Next up Rachael nabs herself a date card! Simone says get ready you gotta go now and Rachael says “WHAT!? But I haven’t even showered and I’m sleepy! I’m not going.” No just kidding (RIP Lenora). She immediately chooses AmJar, he’s stoked, Leah runs off to producers. Even the producers aren’t trying to force her to stay.
Rachael and AmJar jump on a boat and are dropped off at another island.
They do a kava ceremony, it’s pretty uneventful. Insert joke about Rachael saying it has a funny aftertaste, “that’s what she said,” bla bla.
Leah’s still threatening to leave. Turns out she’s doing the “You can’t dump me, I’m dumping you first!” thing because she knows she won’t get AmJar’s rose. But, again, shock horror, she stays.
Osher arrives to announce there will be a rose ceremony. Everyone is SHOOK, despite there being a rose ceremony every two days. There have been plenty right now, you should get it.
Thomas doesn’t seem too worried about not having Megan but decides he better get to know the two newbies, or at least learn their names so he actually has one to call out.
Leah is causing havoc, trying all the tricks in the book including telling Rachael that AmJar said he’s giving his rose to Leah, which he didn’t. It causes a temporary rift between Rachael and AmJar but he basically screams to the whole cocktail party that his rose is Rachael’s. Crisis averted. Well not really since this whole show is a crisis but you get me.
Leah says if anyone other than AmJar gives her a rose, she won’t accept it. I’m calling bulls**t but we’ll see.
So there’s one girl going home and since, as I’ve highlighted before, the person they always build up to be going home never bloody goes home, I predict Leah will be safe. Somehow. She might run up to the rose stand, take a rose for herself and hiss in the corner, attacking anyone who tries to take it from her until they just let her have it.
Let’s do this.
Apollo goes Simone, fine. Leah is physically twitching. Repeats that if anyone but AmJar gives her a rose she’ll walk. Sure thing sweetheart.
Sammy goes Tarz.
Grant goes Ali.
Jarrod goes Keira, “Don’t ruin my lipstick,” she warns in a moment of pure passion.
Thomas is up. Now he could go Megan since Jake hasn’t been yet. What does he care? But no, he goes RACHAEL! Plot twist!
AmJar cannot catch a break here. Finally likes someone and she’s ripped away. Rachael’s standing there like whaaa? She could technically say no right now, she doesn’t have to accept. But she does.
“I guess?” she says, confidently (not confidently).
Jake is next, he chooses Megan obviously.
Eden chooses Elora (who for some reason seems absolutely stoked?? Does she have Stockholm syndrome?)
So now AmJar has to choose between a girl he’s barely spoken to who eats roses, or a girl who has been messing with him since day one. It’s a bonanza. It’s pretty much the exact same situation Elora was in with Thomas and Eden, where we’re like “Just go with the one who is a clean slate, non-psycho.”
And just like Elora, AmJar makes the WRONG DECISION.
“Leah” he calls. Everyone groans. She approaches him and begins her speech.
“I’ve said all week I’m going home,”
“BORING!” Keira loudly interjects, and with the complete lack of backing music I think I can actually hear the crew laughing.
She continues saying she was going home unless the rose came from him and just like every other final person who picks each week, AmJar looks stoked.
Leah walks back to the line-up and Keira looks her straight in the face and says “You’re all talk, Leah,” and somehow I feel that despite getting a rose from AmJar, Leah won’t be enjoying her time any more than she did before.
I’d also just like to mention again that I did this episode with NO MUSIC. Please accept me for the hero that I am.
MORE BACHELOR IN PARADISE RECAPS:
EPISODE 11: WHO’S THAT SMOOCHING?
EPISODE 10: THE MOST LIT EP YET
EPISODE 9: CATFIGHT OVER MAGIC MAN
EPISODE 7: WOMEN ARE CRAY CRAY
EPISODE 4: JAKE DODGES A GLASS
EPISODE 3: TARA FALLS HEAD OVER HEELS
Hen’s party fireworks threaten Tammy Hembrow wedding
Tammy Hembrow celebrated her hen’s party in style, but behind the glamour tensions threaten her upcoming wedding to Matt Zukowski.
Kanye, Bianca ‘headed for divorce’
The marriage of controversial rapper Kanye West and his Australian wife Bianca Censori is believed to be over after just two years.