Bachelor in Paradise episode 11 recap: Who’s that smooching?
IN a Bachelor in Paradise first, Osher is practically throwing condoms at a couple who missed their shot, but one of them is already shacked up. Cheating SCANDAL!
Entertainment
Don't miss out on the headlines from Entertainment. Followed categories will be added to My News.
FINALLY, we get some clarification on why Elora gave Eden her rose. I say finally but for me it’s a little over 12 hours later but it’s too long people! Too long! She says just because someone hurts her it doesn’t mean she wants to hurt them back and OK I’m calling rubbish on this logic. Firstly she didn’t like Eden even before he brutally toyed with her emotions and then he pulled the grotty love letter stunt, it would have been totally acceptable to choose a guy who is currently a blank canvas over him. Silly girl.
CATCH UP ON RECENT BACHELOR IN PARADISE RECAPS:
EPISODE 10: THE MOST LIT EP YET
EPISODE 9: CATFIGHT OVER MAGIC MAN
Megan is talking about how much she frothed Thomas and how if he’d come in earlier she reckons they’d be ON. The whole island thinks it’s probably too late for new people to come in because as we saw with Thomas, there’s no penetrating this bunch. It truly is the definition of scraping the bottom of the barrel.
Two chicks! Two! Omg rose eating girl is here stop it. She just randomly started eating a rose during a ceremony one time, it just reminded me of that scene from The Simpsons where Bart’s like “WHY DON’T YOU EAT SOME MORE ROSES ROSE BOY?” and Homer yells back “MY SECRET SHAME!” Or something like that.
The other girl is Rachael, a little underwhelming but terrifying. She delights in the fact that the men are trapped on an island and then does this crazy evil genius laugh. She wants marriage and babies.
So they enter and everyone’s pumped but then of course that means two girls are going home. Everyone is keen for AmJar and Rachel to make babies and Leah senses this vibe so attaches herself to Rachael like a sucky little parasite, making AmJar too uncomfortable to approach Rachel.
Keira cops a date card and look how happy she is! I wonder if she’ll take that bright pink swamp monster next to her. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again — she’s a lucky duck. And no, that wasn’t autocorrect.
Their storyline is boring sorry … even their drama is boring drama. Sorry. So all I’ll say is they’ve been sent on a very romantic date to a touch footy game with some local kids. OK a lot of local kids. And of course Jarrod sees it as an opportunity to see what Keira is like around kids and Keira wants to show Jarrod how good she is with kids. Cool ya God damn jets you lunatics.
Jarrod “lets” Keira’s team win and she starts a chant of her own name, which I admire and am a little disappointed in myself that I don’t do (more often). They’re in a good place.
Over at the swingers club, Apowlo, Rachael and for some reason Sammy are discussing if Apowlo is with Simone or not. Rachael is ready to dig her claws in, she is near obsessed.
He says yes, he’s getting to know Simone and typical crazy woman it turns Rachael on MORE because it means he’s honest. They come to the conclusion that she can pursue Apowlo if Simone signs a permission slip, and considering Simone is making stabby, throat cutty gestures in the background that idea excites me. Not in a weird way though …
They’re all playing volleyball, it’s not as hot as the Top Gun scene but pretty close. Rachael is using volleyball as an excuse to flirt and I will admit she looks bangin’ in her bikini but she flirts like me. Aggressively. She’s like “OI APOWLO! YOU SUCK!” and just getting hyper competitive.
It is clearly not attractive but Simone is still threatened. Chances of permission slip being signed … waning.
One line about Keira and Pink Boi: Date is done, they’re solid, and they want to be together in the real world.
Now back on the island, Osher swaggers on in, which is confusing because there was a rose ceremony last night and other than that, let’s face it, he’s not really necessary for anything else. SO WHY HE HERE?!
He asks for Megan to go off with him. Everyone is baffled — including me! Why didn’t they run this past me! They muse Tiffany might be here (her ex-girlfriend/ex Bachie — it fits the bill!); it might be a second chance with Thomas; she might be getting booted. Who knows?!
Gah go away Rachael and Simone I wanna know what happens to Megan! Simone cleverly diverts Rachael to AmJar and now it’s just deciding who you’d rather come up against: Simone or Leah. Simone is crazier but Leah is sneakier.
They go for a splish splash and while they might be hanging out in the shallows, their convo goes deep, and fast. They’re talking about how much they love babies. I’m having a panic attack just watching it. He says he hasn’t formed any connection with anyone on the island whatsoever and cop that Leah. Oh man. Leah is livid. Rachael is hanging off AmJar begging for it, BEGGING. I think Rachael is a little too aggressive for AmJar but it’s nice he’s getting a little action.
Back to Megan FINALLY. Holy freakin moley. Thomas is back. These producers are so sneaky … despite missing out on the opportunity for D-RAMAAA with Thomas and Megan, they’re not giving up that easy. Plus they already sprung for international flights for one Canadian to go straight home, they’re getting their money’s worth from this one!
This is seriously so outrageous, they are straight-up goading Megan into cheating on Jake, it’s so flippin’ excellent. I cannot deal. But Megan is INTO IT. Osher hands them a bowl of condoms and says “No pressure guys,” licking his lips and winking. And then, as if this bombshell wasn’t enough, regardless of what happens, Thomas will be returning to the island (to tell Jake to his face that he is now a resident of DUMP-TOWN). D-RAMAAA!
They head for a date at a local restaurant, delighting in the super sensual cuisine of teppanyaki, because nothing says romance like flying food and a Fijian man listening to everything you say. They actually have a really honest and open conversation about it, she says they talked about things she had never talked to people in paradise about (which by my recollection was playing guitar and drawing…). The romantic music is making me feel things. Manson-esque as he may be, Thomas is quite charming.
Back on the island, AmJar grabs Leah to talk things out, because he is a damn gentleman, and Leah makes a scrambling attempt to keep him. It’s something like “I wanted to tell her to f**k off, I’m jealous,” etc. which is probably not the way with a precious sweetheart like AmJar. While he may be precious, though, he tells her how it is.
He wants to spend more time with Rachael and he wanted to be the one to break it to Leah. Classy, kind and courteous. But she’s not having it. And Leah’s tally is up to six failed dudes? Or seven? She’s really clinging on though, she tells the camera “I never thought I’d get jealous about Jared, but he’s my security blanket, Jared is my something to fall back on while I wait for something better” and DAAMNNNN BITCH YOU IS COLD.
Meanwhile, Jake is absolutely packin’ it.
And with good reason. Megan and Thomas are super cute, I’ve decided I like Thomas. Which is all that matters. They’re going on a super cute moonlit swim, in each other’s arms, staring into each other’s eyes, sweet string symphonies swell in the background. You know what’s also swelling.
THEY PASH. THEY PASH SOOOO HARD. AND FOR SO LONG. IT’S PASSIONATE. I FEEL A BIT PERVERTED WATCHING IT’S JUST SO INTIMATE.
It’s all well and good right now sweetheart but now you’ve got a super intense love triangle going on.
Jake is still panicking. Hard.
Omg they walk back in and I have butterflies just watching them.
How much would you NOT want to be Megan right now?? Facing the music is the worst. It just sucks.
Jake storms off and Megan runs after him calling his name but he doesn’t turn around. Even for a guy I’ve called Jake the Snake for the majority of the season, this is pretty rough.
Juicy, juicy stuff though.
MORE BACHELOR IN PARADISE RECAPS:
EPISODE 10: THE MOST LIT EP YET
EPISODE 9: CATFIGHT OVER MAGIC MAN
EPISODE 7: WOMEN ARE CRAY CRAY
EPISODE 4: JAKE DODGES A GLASS
EPISODE 3: TARA FALLS HEAD OVER HEELS
Kanye, Bianca ‘headed for divorce’
Rumours are swirling that the marriage of controversial rapper Kanye West and his Australian wife Bianca Censori is over after just two years.
‘Didn’t have a pulse’: Pacino reveals he nearly died
The Godfather icon has revealed six paramedics and two doctors tried to keep him alive after his pulse stopped as he battled Covid.