Dear Ms Wise, my partner and I have been together for about four years and had our first child last year. I’m starting part-time work in a few months and our daughter will be going to childcare three days a week. We’ve never formally done a budget or discussed who pays for what because our ad hoc way of doing things seemed to work – until now. I’m really bothered that he assumes all the childcare expenses will be mine. Ava

The wisdom: When I shared this question with colleagues they were astonished at the assumption that the mother was expected to bear sole responsibility for childcare costs, but financial adviser Jessica Brady says it’s not unusual.