Wake up, it's Wednesday

All the news that's fit to mint

All the news that's fit to mint

Since when did a federal election campaign resemble an amateur footy match? Since 2022, unprecedented times and all.

There's been a lot of confusion, stumbles and running over the past six weeks, all of which simultaneously occurred in an empty workshop in WA on Tuesday.

Opposition Leader Anthony Albanese had a rough end to his visit to Perth. 

It started well. Speaking at a breakfast event with the who's who of the business world in WA, Albanese charmed the crowd with references to WA Premier Mark McGowan (who received a round of applause every time his name was dropped) and Bob Hawke.

When asked what he would like his legacy to be, he froze for a second before blurting out: "Action on climate".

Then it was off to make a policy announcement, flanked by McGowan and other popular ALP MPs.

It was here, in an empty workshop talking about trains, where the day went off the rails.

A standard rule of thumb to decide whether you're having a good or average day is: "Did the media chase me?" 

The Opposition Leader ran out (I'm not exaggerating) of Perth after a particularly combative press conference with the travelling corps who wanted to know two things:

1. When will he show off the price tag of his policy promises?
2. Will those policies blow out the national deficit? As The Australian has reported they will... by about $10bn over the next couple of years.

His decision to ghost McGowan was best described by the Premier himself as "madness":

This is gold watching Mark McGowan's face when he realises #AlboMP isn't up to the job after he (Albo) storms out of his presser refusing to answer policy costings questions.. #AlboFail #auspol #ausvotes #MarkMcGowanMP pic.twitter.com/WDl7nP9Eyd

— Timjbo 🇦🇺 🇺🇸💧☔ (@Tim_jbo) May 17, 2022

While he's been unsure about some things on the hustings, including the cash rate, the unemployment rate and the ALP's six-point plan for the NDIS, Albanese is certain about his own future. Should he win the election on Saturday night he will make sure he is sworn into office, along with his pick for Foreign Minister - Penny Wong, so the pair can represent Australia at the important Quad meeting next Tuesday.

“I will visit the Quad and renew my acquaintance with (US) President (Joe) Biden but also meet, very importantly, with (Japanese) Prime Minister (Fumio) Kishida and (Indian Prime Minister) Narendra Modi who are important friends of Australia … The Quad is an important organisation,” Albo said.

The Prime Minister was also getting in some cardio. He was in the NT when a journalist pursued him from an event to ask why no one from the coalition had appeared on the National Indigenous TV. Morrison was in Lingiari - the electorate which has the highest proportion of First Nations voters.

Am I getting a pay rise?

The latest Wage Price Index rate will be announced today.

The WPI measures the change in the price businesses and the government pay for labour, excluding things like bonuses and super contributions. It helps provide context for things like inflation.

This will be the first reported instalment for 2022. Economists are predicting a rise of about 0.8%.

Some good news

Those ads telling you disaffected Liberal MP turned Clive Palmer's acolyte, Craig Kelly, is going to be the next Prime Minister or Labor playing (out of context) clips of Morrison saying "That's not my job" and the Libs annoying remix of "There's a hole in my bucket" - will disappear from tonight as we've reached the final quarter of this campaign.

A time when the blessed Broadcasting Services Act of 1992 kicks in, meaning no political advertising is allowed on TV or radio for the final three days of an election. But they'll still be able to find you on socials (even on your Finsta). 

Some not so great news

There's a thing called "the vetting of potential candidates" which usually happens before a wannabe pollie is pre-selected and endorsed by a party or organisation.

While there are concerns over Liberal candidates who have extreme views about gender (what's up Warringah!) and Labor hopefuls who have been shoe-horned into electorates to make their political dreams come true (peace out Parramatta! Fist bump Fowler!). 

These are issues also plaguing the minor parties.

It turns out more than 20 of the 173 candidates standing for Clive Palmer's United Australia Party have faced court, or still have ongoing matters tied up in the judicial system.

Charges faced by some aspirant MPs include trafficking of a controlled drug, medium-range drink-driving and custody of a knife in a public place.

At least three endorsed candidates are currently before the courts, two for criminal charges and one for a police apprehended violence order (AVO) application.

New phone, old PM

A number of Australians had a gentleman caller last night...

Cameo has jumped the shark #ausvotes pic.twitter.com/4HMM4GVPE1

— Jenna Clarke (@jennamclarke) May 17, 2022

In a bid to help his beloved Liberal Party win another term in office, former Prime Minister John Howard, 82, has recorded robocalls for the party that brought us Robodebt.

The cafe test is the new "pub test"

With the finish line of this election in sight expect a bunch of polls to be published and dissected over the coming days.

While official, rigorous and strategic research will always be king, Muffin Break has also released its predictions.

#ausvotes22 as called by Muffin Break customers

The home of the Muggaccino claims to have correctly predicted every election since 2007.

The unofficial "Bean Poll" is based on 500,000 customers who all got a bean to "vote" for a party.

Your nan's favourite cafe has the coalition ahead of Labor but check out those returns for the Greens in Queensland. Who knew there were so many leftie latte sipping elites in the state where Morrison's "quiet Australians" allegedly reside.

From Angel™ to guardian angel

Miranda Kerr is now a popular philanthropist too

Australian model and mogul Miranda Kerr, together with her Snapchat CEO husband Evan Spiegel, have surprised a bunch of emerging creatives in the US by paying off their version of HECS.

Through their Spiegel Family Fund, the couple made a "significant donation" of more than $10m to the Otis College of Art and Design. They were also awarded honorary doctorates of fine arts degrees.

"The donation will allow for the repayment of the outstanding student debt of students in the graduating Class of 2022. This is the largest single gift in the history of Otis College and will reduce student debt for emerging artists and designers and their families," Otis College president Charles Hirschhorn said. "We know that for most of you and your families, the shared burden of student debt is a heavy price that you paid for an exceptional Otis College education. We understand that this debt can compromise your future and limit your creative ambitions. We do not want to see this happen."

Add to cart

Aussie fashion is more popular with consumers overseas than our booze. 

Turns out our ragtrade is a $27.2bn industry. A report from the Australian Fashion Council and Ernst and Young has revealed fashion exports more than double those from the beer and wine industries.

According to the report, entitled "Fashion Evolution: Farm to Fashion", our clothes, or "textile exports", are a staggering $7.2 bn.

Fashion employees more than 489,000 people (more than the mining industry), with women representing 77% of that workforce.

Got a Zara cart sitting in your open tabs? Same, but it's not surprising, Australians are the second highest consumers of textiles per person in the world.

Home loan express lane

Digital mortgages are becoming a thing.

On Tuesday, CommBank unveiled a suite of new products as the traditional financial institutions try to keep pace with the fintech space (and retain your business).

As well as a new generation Dollarmites program for kids, digital mortgages were also launched - loans that can be approved in 10-minutes.

These digital mortgages will initially be targeted at owner-occupiers or investors seeking to refinance up to 80% of their house or apartment's value, who are paying principal and interest, and do not want an offset account.

The concept was born out of the bank realising online banking is the way of the future. CBA's chief executive Matt Comyn said CommBank now has between 6 - 10 million logins on day on its app.

Sorry you were offended

It's only Wednesday but it's been a big week.

The Super Flower Blood Moon eclipse begun and then the disintegration of the male gaze in real time happened on Twitter.

Sorry. Not beautiful. And no amount of authoritarian tolerance is going to change that. https://t.co/rOASeeQvee

— Dr Jordan B Peterson (@jordanbpeterson) May 16, 2022