Tune in, it's Tuesday

All the news that's fit to mint

All the news that's fit to mint

Today the Treasurer Josh Frydenberg and Finance Minister Simon Birmingham will flash their balance sheets.

This is not a euphemism.

It's officially Costings Day for the government. Think of it as the Christmas Eve of the election campaign where the tension and stress (and fatigue) of the big day reaches its zenith and you may be able to unwrap a few gifts early.

Brace yourself, today is the day we'll hear what the price tags for the coalition's 35 election policies are. 

The government will lay out how they plan to pay for all of the promises they've made during the election campaign and give voters the chance to digest how their grand plans will work (and how much they'll  ultimately cost us, the taxpayer).

It is standard practice during elections for parties to submit their policies to be "costed" by the Parliamentary Budget Office and publish some of 'em for voters to scroll through. 

Labor is yet to release its costings. Opposition Leader Anthony Albanese said it'll happen...soon?

“We will put out all of the opposition’s costings in the usual way at the usual time frame as oppositions have,” Mr Albanese said.

Odds on this will happen on Wednesday or Thursday.

Meanwhile...

Four more sleeps til we head to the polls and it's all about dollars (and not a lot of sense) on the campaign trail.

The Prime Minister has pledged $25m for rural health in Queensland, specifically in Cairns. Out of this funding will come 20 medical training places that'll be made available for country medicos at James Cook Uni.

The PM is busy selling his housing policy, and also himself.

After promising to change his Bulldozer ways at the weekend, on Monday he doubled down. Promising that if he's re-elected he'll be a more inclusive leader. Morrison also said a vote for him is a vote for someone who will know what they're doing when the new work week begins (impressive. It's Tuesday and I'm still in the grip of the Sunday Scaries). 

"We know what we will do on Monday; we know what we will do on Sunday," Morrison told the Truman Capote to our Holly Golightly, The Australian.

He's not thinking about not winning, "I don't speculate on things like that," Morrison said later on Monday night.

Meanwhile across the border, the Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce was in the NT scaring crocs. 

We see you in the NT Barnaby.

Or provoking them. One can't be sure.

"Australia has got to be like an echidna; China is the crocodile," Joyce said when talking about national security. "The crocodile looks at the echidna and says, 'I could eat that, but it’s just not worth it'."

He was on the "wombat trail", campaigning for the coalition in the vast outback electorate of Lingiari in the NT. A seat which the Nats think they're on track to win on Saturday when long-serving Labor MP Warren Snowdon retires after more than two decades.

Down in Perth, WA Labor premier Mark McGowan got salty with the government. Well Defence Minister Peter Dutton more specifically.

McGowan fired up about how the news of that Chinese war ship being spotted off the west coast last week was handled. The WA leader was bemused he wasn't told about it before Dutton's press conference.

"All this rhetoric by Mr Dutton, and his language around war and 'we've got to be prepared to fight', all this sort of stuff that's gone on for the last year, is highly dangerous," Mr McGowan said. "It's against the national interest and it's actually inflammatory and unnecessary and I just think he’s the biggest threat to Western Australia," McGowan said.

Meanwhile Opposition Leader Anthony Albanese made a more low-key entrance in Perth, he kissed some babies at a childcare centre ahead of two announcements he's expected to make in the medical and manufacturing spaces today.

He also popped into some prepoll booths but was bailed up by a cranky anti-vax protestor. Luckily nothing escalated as WA's ambulance service wouldn't have been able to help.

For the second time in a week, St John Ambulance took to social media encouraging sick people to seek help elsewhere as the majority of the ambo fleet was tied up waiting outside of Perth's hospitals.

This is (not) fine

Russia has re-positioned deadly Iskander missiles close to Finland’s border just hours after Helsinki and Sweden announced they are applying to join NATO.

It comes as McDonald's quits Russia. The American fast food chain, which opened there 30-years ago, is packing it in like an overworked soft serve machine due to continual political unrest. 

Putting the 'doge' in Dogecoin

This year crypto is at the top of the ATO's Ctrl + F list when it comes to your tax return.

Assistant Commissioner Tim Loh said the tax office had seen a number of people make mistakes when disclosing assets and that cryptocurrency losses could not be offset against salary or wages. 

"Through our data collection processes, we know that many Aussies are buying, selling or exchanging digital coins and assets so it’s important people understand what this means for their tax obligations," Loh said.

"Crypto is a popular type of asset and we expect to see more capital gains or capital losses reported in tax returns this year.

"Remember you can’t offset your crypto losses against your salary and wages."

Sorry bros.

Why how to vote is important

More than 12% of us have already voted, according to the Australian Electoral Commission, but some of us are voting wrong or like donkeys, as how to vote cards aren't being helpful.

There's been a bit of a comms issue in the Melbourne seat of Kooyong - the blue ribbon Liberal electorate that Frydenberg is keen to hold onto. 

The issue could potentially cruel the political fate of Climate 200-backed independent candidate Monique Ryan, as she has not allocated preferences on her how to vote cards, which is leading to concerns over invalid votes.

The issue with vague how to vote cards is that a lot of people usually follow those handy "how to" guides handed out by their preferred candidate at the polling booth.

With Dr Ryan leaving hers blank means many voters may just place a "1" in the box next her name and leave the others blank, leading to that precious vote being deemed a dud and therefore not counted.

When you go to exercise your vote this week or Saturday here's some tips:

1. With the green, small paper you must number every box. Place a "1" next to the person you'd most like to represent you in the House of Representatives and then count down from the second best candidate you'd  like all the way down to the "not really that keen, hey" prospective MP.
2. The Senate paper is the long white one. In some seats is may be metres long. Don't be overwhelmed just guard yourself against paper cuts. With this one you can either vote "above the line" or "below the line". If you chose to stick to the top of the paper. You have to number at least 6 boxes for parties or groups in the order of your favs (with number 1 as your first choice). Below the line lists the prospective Senators gathered in their parties or groups, when you get there number at least 12 boxes for individual candidates in the order of your choice (with number 1 as your first choice).

If in doubt, ask an AEC vollie or, if you're the type of person who likes to be prepared (as in looks at the menu before dinner online - hi!) have a crack practicing how to vote before Saturday here.

Flybye

There have been chaotic scenes in shopper reward world thanks to Flybuys being incorrectly dished out to loyal members.

On Monday a tonne of points were issued to some Coles shoppers and then cancelled and recalled due to a technical error.

BUT.

Just a few hours later, and after an about face, Coles and Flybuys handed back the points it accidentally dished out to its loyal customers as a gesture of good will.

Between 600,000 to 800,000 members were impacted and to them I say, "Take me with you".

Live baby live

Great news for Sydney's live music scene, the Oxford Art Factory has confirmed it has taken over the Lansdowne Hotel.

Now for some more community announcements 

Kravis - Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Baker - tied the knot in a court house wedding after they got "fake married" in Vegas at 2am by an Elvis impersonator earlier this year. A "big Italian wedding" is also in the works. 

Chloë Sevigny - the coolest human on earth (don't @ me, I will die on the hill that Sevigny built) got hitched in a quaint country wedding attended by her equally "vibe shift" immune mates, like Russian Dolls star Natasha Lyonne.

Engaged Twin Flamers brimming with Pisces energy - actor Megan Fox and singer Machine Gun Kelly - sparked rumours they're already married when old mate dedicated a song at the Billboard Music Awards to his "wife" and "unborn child".

Also, happy 20th anniversary to Kath & Kim.

Put on the footy franks 🫘& crack open the Tia Maria 🍾!
Happy 20th anniversary!
I can’t believe #KathAndKim is almost as popular today as it was 20 years ago!

Thanks to all you Foxymorons for watching (& to my bestie Kristen Blöink for coining that immortal phrase!)

🥰💕🙏🙌

— Magda Szubanski AO (@MagdaSzubanski) May 16, 2022