Brace yourself for six weeks of insults

An election is coming. There are huge problems in our world and all people want to do is sledge each other. Let’s have some vision from the older generations here, please.

An election is coming. There are huge problems in our world and all people want to do is sledge each other. Let’s have some vision from the older generations here, please

Another day, another round of hectic insults at, about and between political leaders.  As Our Lord and Savior Olivia Rodrigo says, it’s brutal out here. And with an election around the corner, it's going to get worse.

ICYMI we've heard that Scott Morrison is a horrible horrible psycho, a liar, the worst politician we've ever had and last night, was described by a member of the media on a TV panel as a "shapeshifter".  In turn, he's basically body shamed Anthony Albanese, his main rival for the job of running the country.

You know things are upside down when people waiting for in a one-kilometre queue at Sydney Airport this week were more polite and understanding than pollies (you know, the ones who usually skip such lines and wait out flight delays with complimentary toasties in the Qantas chairman’s lounge). 

It's Labor v Liberal. Liberal v Liberal. The public v the Prime Minister. The public v the Opposition Leader. The attacks are getting incredible personal and (pass the popcorn) hard to look away from right now. It’s like that second hand shame you get watching Curb Your Enthusiasm. But can we really deal with six more weeks (give or take) of this? The election is likely to be called any day now. We're not sure about this harsh vibe. 

Life is rough for many Australians right now. You know that. Those who lost everything in the bushfires went headlong into a pandemic that is threatening to become as long as a Neighbours franchise with less certainty of ever ending. Everything is expensive, and probably going to get more pricey.

Take a deep dive on the topic of inflation and you'll hear people may start defaulting on their home loan repayments because interest rates are going to rise this year. 

Anxiety levels are rising along with flood waters amid general national exhaustion and burnout and that's without the distressing background of brutality and conflict overseas. The spectre of World War 3 has been invoked by the Russia-Ukraine conflict. As for China, which makes just about everything we use and has for decades underpinned our wealth - well let's just say the friendship has... changed. 

Pass the sage. Everyone needs a good smudging. 

Of course most of us are still hugely fortunate and have plenty of blessings to count for our life in this country. But if life is still sort of peachy, it's tasting a little less sweet. And you’d think the people running this country, and those who wish to, would get that. 

Watching season 46 of the Australian Parliament as it enters its final episodes is bleak. There’s been more mud slinging than an amateur footy game just with less good nature and actual zingers.

The opposition leader Anthony Albanese - the man who wants to become the next prime minister - has called other pollies “boof heads”, criticised the Budget as being as “sincere as a fake tan” and had the nerve to invoke a MAFS reference, throwing shade on the cast AND the Coalition. He’s so far proved to be good at running his mouth. What about putting his name to some big ideas?  

Now, pettiness in politics is nothing new. Paul Keating was sharper than vintage cheddar. He hounded the opposition in the 1980s and 1990s with a sassy savageness that seems twee in this day and age.

"It was the limpest performance I have ever seen ... it was like being flogged with a warm lettuce. It was like being mauled by a dead sheep," Mr Keating once said of an opponent.

Way back in 1917 prime minister Billy Hughes was egged. It knocked off his top hat and because he forgot his gun he created the Australian Federal Police force instead. What's old is new again - former Liberal MP turned United Australia Party,er, person Craig Kelly is the most recent victim of being scrambled in public when visiting Melbourne this week.

You’ll always lose in Melbourne. Neo nazis sympathisers, misogynists and anti-semites are not welcome here. Pack up your cooker show #CraigKelly

A timely reminder a vote for the UAP is a vote for the Liberal Party. Disrupt the bastards wherever they go! #auspol #EveryEggCounts pic.twitter.com/PWLgWBOwzy

— WACA (@akaWACA) April 8, 2022

So yes, it's not just pollies attacking each other. People in regional NSW bowled up the PM this week screaming in his face, swearing.  At a photo opp, or “oops” in this case, a 73-year-old pensioner wanted some answers. 

“Listen to me for a change,” Raymond Drury said, before demanding the Prime Minister “better f..king do something” and that he was “sick of your bullshit”.

His problem was about his pension being unfairly cut and he felt “ignored by everyone”. No doubt we need to treat the elderly better. But really, try being a 22 year old in a pandemic that doesn't really cause serious illness in young people. 

A high school teacher then lured Morrison in for a selfie only to sledge him.  “Congratulations on being the worst prime minister we’re ever had.” International cricketers: eat your hearts out.

The older generations are cranky. 

Morrison handled the pub situation. He attempted to diffuse it. The Liberals are now saying they have “no fear of street walks”. 

#brave. 

But all of this is just... depressing. You have to wonder, maybe if more politicians walked in everyday people’s shoes more often they wouldn’t be screamed at on the street. 

Of course everyone wants more. More money, more time for brunch, a pair of those Birks by Manolo Blahnik.  

What Australia needs is ideas. 

A contest to see which party and people will future proof the country and think about the greater good rather than what’ll look good for them.

Deal with the endless snowballing of debt so that we can shake that nagging feeling that the entire economy is on the brink of collapse. Find a solution to the seemingly intractable problem of overdue constitutional recognition for Indigenous people. Young people want to see a sustainable approach to caring for our oldest (aged care policy) and the most vulnerable (disability support) because it's fair and that's the kind of approach we want for our country. 

Pollies: treat this election like Pinterest, get creative and we’ll start pinning the inspo.

Unite us with a plan to address climate change. Conserve our glorious natural spaces. Innovate in education at every level so that we're equipped to win in this world. 

We could go on, but that's not our job. It's theirs.