Unusual names: Jordy Atkinson’s sick of her name and here’s why
DEAR parents-to-be: If you’re considering unsual names for your children, can you please pause and reflect on the lifelong consequences for them, appeals Jordy Atkinson.
Leader
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I hate my name.
It’s awkward and unusual and often leads to me wasting precious minutes explaining to perfect strangers how to spell or pronounce it.
And when all I wanted was a takeaway latte — and it still comes back with the wrong name scrawled on the side of the cup — it leaves me wondering what my parents were thinking.
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“Ooh, Jordy, that’s a nice name, where’s it from?”
“A book my mum was reading when she was pregnant with me.”
“Is it short for anything?”
“Jordana.”
“Well, it’s lovely, how do you spell it?”
“J-O-R-D-Y.”
[Beat]
“Takeaway latte for Georgie.”
[Eyeroll]
Jody, Josie, Joanie and Gordy also commonly appear in black marker on my takeaway cups.
I suppose it makes sense people would assume I misspoke and when I said Jordy what I really meant was Georgie.
But, as if my birthname wasn’t strange enough, there was one time a barista took it upon himself to make up an entirely new name — “Jorney”. (I don’t think I had a cold the day I visited his cafe).
I now have grave concerns for his future children, lest they be burdened with an equally dubious moniker that he gets wrong.
And trust me, that can happen.
Once I even got a note from my own father addressed to Jodie — I mean, if he can’t get it right, how can I expect anyone else to?
I mean, I’ve never done it, but I can imagine naming a child must be a high-pressure task. I’ve known several couples who have nearly called it quits over their difference of opinion on what to call their bundles of joy.
It’s a huge responsibility. After all, the name you pick will determine how your child interacts with others over their lifetime.
And while its great to not be one of three Emilys in a class — or one of five Jacks on a football team (I’m looking at you St Kilda) — there are a few things you should think about before saddling your tot with a weird alias in the name of individuality.
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And it’s not just when we order takeaway. There are plenty of times us name-challenged folk will find ourselves wishing we had been called something more “normal”.
I bet Olivias, Emmas and Sophies or Matts, Williams and Toms don’t have these problems.
I’ve often lamented the fact I wasn’t able to share in the age-old rite of passage of having someone return from Bali with a personalised key ring or friendship bracelet — I just got a generic elephant embroidered on mine.
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I know it could be so much worse. I could have been called Jazlyn, Blayze or Enivid.
And don’t get me started on nice, normal names with years of tradition behind them spelt stupidly — sorry to all the Feebis, Huntahs, Feeyonas and Jaxxons out there, it’s not your fault your parents likely had too much of the giggle gas while in the labour ward.
But parents-to-be be warned: if you do this to your child they will be judged for the rest of their lives.
It could even hinder their job opportunities. I mean, who wants to be cut open by a surgeon named Bacardi or Annakey?
Maybe Jordy isn’t so bad after all.
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