New mum shares shame for choosing to formula feed her baby

SHE was once so ashamed about bottle feeding that she fed her baby under a blanket, pretending to breastfeed in a cafe. And Emma-Jayne Schenck still doesn’t undertand why so many mums feel they know better than her what’s best for her son.

I SHOULD have just slapped a “public property” sign on my belly when I was pregnant.

Dealing with morning sickness was nothing compared to the strangers staring, poking my belly and the blunt questions about birth plans, measurements, and how it was going “down there”.

Then the baby’s born and it was all about sleep and breastfeeding.

It didn’t take long to realise there was judgment behind every comment.

RETURNING TO WORK AS A NEW MUM

RECIPES FOR FUSSY EATERS

WANT TO LIVE DANGEROUSLY? CATCH A TRAIN WHILE YOU’RE PREGNANT

I’d always planned to breastfeed, so with a little education, plus midwives assuring me “baby knows best”, I hoped for the best.

Four days after my baby was born he was plunked on the scales and the mood changed dramatically.

He’d lost far too much body weight, and as it turned out, hadn’t been drinking properly because of a tongue tie.

So began the exhausting and traumatic cycle of pumping and feeding, and trying to get him to latch on properly with an unsympathetic lactation consultant.

Every time it came to breastfeed, my whole body would tense up and I would dread picking him up, knowing he didn’t want my milk.

Five weeks later my husband measured out a bottle of formula as I broke down in the nursery at 3am.

Journalist Emma-Jayne Schenk believes woman shouldn’t be judged on whether they decide to breast or bottle feed their child.

For the first time ever, my baby didn’t push away from me as I fed him, and the excruciating pain disappeared.

I finally felt close to him.

But with the stress gone, the shame arrived, as did the excuses and justification, hiding the tin in the supermarket trolley, and the knot in my stomach when my bub got hungry in public.

There was even a time I pretended to breastfeed — hiding the bottle under a blanket while feeding in a cafe.

People labelled it “McDonalds for babies”, urged me to push through the pain and rejection, and even said “You don’t get the option to stop breastfeeding in Africa”.

Even the formula tins seemed against me, as I read on each packet: “Breast milk is best for babies. Before you decide to use an infant formula consult your doctor.”

The Australian Medical Association recommends breastfeeding until age one, citing increased bonding and disease-fighting substances only present in mother’s milk.

But its website also states infant formula is an adequate source of nutrients too.

Every mum wants the best for her child, but I wasn’t coping and neither was my baby — and the cost was too high to continue.

Choosing formula is my right. Whether mums make that choice because of physical problems, mental health problems, a history of sexual abuse or myriad other reasons they shouldn’t have to explain, and you’re not a failure if you heat a bottle for your bub.

Being thrown into parenthood is hard enough — add judgment to the mix and it seems impossible.

Choose breastfeeding for too long and you’re labelled a hippie, fanatic and shameless for showing your boobs in public.

Choose formula and you’re selfish, inadequate and putting your bond and your baby’s health at risk.

As mums, we should support one another in our vulnerable moments — and yet we continue to bring each other down.

Making the decision to switch to formula was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done and I still question if I’m a bad mum for doing it.

On the good days, I know I’m not — but many would happily tell me differently, and it needs to stop.