Single in Sydney: A case of man flu gets Sarah back on Tinder and the blokes lining up

SARAH’S been sick in bed with a case of man flu and only her cat Prince Harry for company. So, who said she’d never find a man if she stayed in bed on a Saturday night?

Sarah with Dating Guru, Andrew Mashiko

• 11 things I learned from the ex pick-up artist-turned dating guru
• I might be unattached, but don’t call me a crazy cat lady
• Is there a dating apocalypse in Australia?

JOURNALIST Sarah Swain has been single (but dating) for longer than she cares to remember.

That’s because it’s tough out there, as any single will tell you, so to bring hope to others across the city, she’s sharing her no-holds-barred adventures on the Sydney single scene every Friday

A man flu

SOMEBODY once told me I’m never going to meet a man staying in on a Saturday night in my pyjamas.

They were wrong — because of course that was before the invention of dating apps.

And right now, I’ve got more blokes lined up than at Ryan’s bar on a Friday night — and I spent from Sunday to Wednesday in my Peter Alexander's with a terrible cold.

From my sick bed surrounded by used tissues and bottles of Benadryl, and with Prince Harry snuggled under the covers like a furry hot water bottle, I landed one firm date, one possible date, and two serial messengers (who I’m going to cut off very soon unless they ask me to meet up).

I don’t look like this at the moment, as I can’t get out of bed.

The possible date even phoned! Without me having to ask!

I think it’s ‘cause he wanted to drop in that he has a kid, but I guess it’s something I’m open to. If he’s nice.

And I think my success rate was improved because not only did I have a lot of time to waste, but I also used some tips passed on by the pick-up artist-turned-dating guru.

We finally met in real life, you see.

He visited from Melbourne to go on TV — the producers had seen him in my column — and we went out for drinks.

Now, he’s no Daniel Craig, but he’s pretty charming.

He even put up with my mate Jenna grilling him about his polyamorist status.

And we talked about what else I can do to change my single status.

He reckons Sydney is part of the problem.

“I got a (phone) number on the train from the airport,” he told me.

“People in this city are just desperate to connect.”

Everybody say Sexpo!

But there’s nothing I can do about that right now, so we needed to come up with another plan.

Because while the date I’ve got arranged came courtesy of OkCupid, the last bloke I spoke to on the phone from that site sounded like he was putting on a robot voice, only that was actually how he talked.

And now I’ve run out of potentials.

So Guru suggested I go back on Tinder — but do it differently, to save myself from the duds.

He told me to write a profile — crazy, right?

And said rather than approaching guys with the usual, “Hi I’m Sarah” to go a bit deeper.

For example, if their photos are of them skydiving and jumping off cliffs, perhaps ask them what the most dangerous thing is they’ve ever done is.

Here’s cheers!

I mean it’s pretty simple, but it’s easy to get lazy.

So I put all of my energy — not actually that much considering I could barely get out of bed — into Tinder.

Guru also told me it’s important to take things off the app and into messaging or talking on the phone as soon as possible.

There’s just one problem.

For now, all these blokes are just virtual.

I can’t actually reach out and grab them — a bit like with the virtual reality goggles I tried on at Sexpo last week (a fun day out with the girls, especially the strip show).

Now I just need to shake this cold so I can meet them all.