Of all my daily acts of self-sabotage, my horrible posture is the most entrenched. I can hardly afford it either. According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics, the average male height is 175.6cm – a line I barely scrape over without summoning every millimetre at my disposal. Instead, my shoulders droop forwards like my entire body is surrendering to a slow puncture. I’m literally selling myself short.

A lifetime of admonishments from my mother to “stand up straight” are not the only reason I know this is a bad habit. Our everyday language reinforces the idea that lousy posture doesn’t just project feeble body language but is a clear sign of moral decay. We talk of “upright citizens”, “straight shooters” or being a “stand-up guy”. The alternative is being “crooked”, “bent” or “twisted” – none of which are great character references.