Adult children can alter your recipe for life success

Multi-generation living makes sense, but clashes of opinion mean the living arrangement is not to everyone's taste.

When your children grow up, be prepared for their opinions to differ from yours. Picture: iStock

MY DOOR is always open for my kids - the front door, the garage door, my car door, the pantry and fridge doors and even my wardrobe and linen cupboard are fair game.

What's mine is generally accepted as being theirs.

I am generous and giving of our time - "of course Dad will help build that Ikea flatpack on his day off” I'll say as I hand over my credit card to pay for another trolley load of groceries.

I pride myself that I've taught them well and given them the necessary life skills to make their own way.

You could say we are a pretty close family but I've realised I have my limits and my love is not as unconditional as I once thought.

I've heard there's a growing trend towards multi-generation living with three generations choosing to live under one roof. Many families are actually seeking out homes with dual living facilities or adding on rooms to allow for a multi-generation household.

It makes perfect sense in so many practical ways but I know I couldn't do it.

And if I needed a reminder it was dished up for dinner the other night.

After a big weekend of family feasting my son offered to cook his signature dish of spaghetti bolognese for everyone.

My older daughter kept offering to "fix” it for him as she said he was ruining it. She was banished from the kitchen after a bit of a spat. It was just like old times, I thought to myself.

I was happy not to be the one cooking so I ignored the bickering and indulged in a few moments of delight that he was about to serve up a meal I'd been cooking for him since he was as old as the grandchild I was playing with.

But one mouthful of his spag bol had me spluttering. It was nothing like how I'd taught him to cook this family favourite.

I couldn't believe it. How could he mess with my tried and tested recipe, and why did he think his version was perfect?

Had I taught him nothing?

I've eaten my daughter's version and she's messed with my recipe as well.

It was a sobering moment as I realised they no longer thought I was the best judge of what's right or wrong for them.

What else do they disagree with me on?

Turns out it's quite a list - scrambled eggs and even how to mash potatoes.

So while I'll keep the doors to my home and heart wide open for them, it might be best if we have our own kitchens. After all too many cooks in any kitchen is never a good thing.

Originally published as Adult children can alter your recipe for life success