I use a tracking app on my teens - here's how I get away with it

"I know it's controversial, but it's also one of my best-ever decisions as a mum."

I use tracking apps to keep tabs on my teens. I trust them, but I still track them. I even track my husband - although I trust him too!

When I say that I track them, I don’t sit watching my phone like a hawk to keep an eye on their every move. I just like to be aware, roughly, of what is going on, and I’ve found that my phone gives me the information I need without needing to chase after them all the time to ask where they are.

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I can give my kids more freedom

So, my family is all on the app Life360. This is not an ad - just a PSA, because every parent I know with kids the same ages swears by it.

Some people say that tracking your kids via an app crushes their independence and it shows you don’t trust them. They say that it gives them a back-up all the time – whether it’s helping them to find their lost phone or picking them up from somewhere unknown.

I’d argue the opposite. I give my kids more freedom because I can pick up my phone and see where they are. Where once I had stricter boundaries, now I can be more flexible as I have an overview of their movements when it matters. It allows me to encourage their independence as they transition into adulthood and it gives me peace of mind.

Is giving them an easy back-up even a bad thing? We didn’t have this technology when I was a kid, but does that mean we shouldn’t make use of it now? I personally use Find My Phone on my Apple watch to locate my misplaced phone at least five times a week (OK, maybe 10!)

These convenient solutions are available to us to make our lives easier.

Karen uses Life360 with her family. Image: Supplied

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My parents had no clue where I was

When I was a kid growing up in a tiny village in the UK, if I wasn’t home by the time the street lights flickered on at night, my parents had no clue if I'd taken a spill off my bike on a dark country lane or if I was just having too much fun with my mates and forgot how late it was (which may have happened more than once!). I’m sure it would have been a huge relief for my mum if she’d been able to look at an app and see where I was.

One of my boys goes for solo bike rides and I like to be able to check in once in a while to see where he is. I don’t want to curb his independence, but I also like to make sure he’s safe. Using Life360 allows me to keep an eye on him from a distance. If he fell off his bike and was hurt, it would mean I’d quickly be able to locate him.

It’s also helpful to know if his battery is about to die and I’m soon to lose contact with him. Incidentally, a ‘battery low’ signal from the app means I know he’ll head straight home as he wouldn’t dream of being out without being able to a) chase Pokémon or b) message his pals.

My kids know I have access to the app and can check it if I want to. It makes them accountable for their choices, especially when my son decides to cycle in the opposite direction to home when it’s his curfew! It can help increase (or decrease in his case, sometimes!) my trust in them.

We avoided getting our kids phones until we felt they were old enough to deal with the responsibility that comes with this technology, but now we have them I feel they’re able to enjoy more freedom than before.

It’s a two-way street too. If I go out to run some errands and promise to call in for a take away on my way home, they can see where I am so they know when to expect dinner. This is particularly helpful if they’ve promised to do some chores while I’m out, as it gives them the nudge to get a move on when they see me heading home!

I always remember years ago watching a nervous neighbour waiting outside her house watching as her son walked to school alone for the first time. She stood there long after he’d disappeared from view. She told me it was one of the hardest things to do as a parent. I know she went back inside worrying about whether he’d made it there safely. With a tracking app, she could have kept an eye on him from a distance and what a difference that would have made to her peace of mind during the first few days transitioning him more independence.

Karen's parenting has had to modernize. Source: Supplied

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I also track my husband...

On a related note: when is it OK to track your husband? He works shifts at the airport and often has to stay late unexpectedly when planes get delayed. Over the years, I’ve had many sleepless nights where I’ve woken at 3am to find he hasn’t come home and I’ve convinced myself he must have had a devastating accident like your mind does in the dead of night.

Now, when I wake up, I just pull out my phone and see he’s still at work. It’s such a relief to see he’s safe and I can go back to sleep.

Tracking can be done respectfully and for the right reasons. Leveraging tracking apps in a respectful way is a tool I use to empower my teens and I do it out of my commitment to keeping them safe. Knowing roughly where the people I love are also reassures me and gives me peace of mind. I’m more than happy for them to track me, too.

The important thing is that I wouldn’t dream of tracking my kids or husband because I didn’t trust them. If that’s the case, then there are deep relationship issues that need to be addressed.

For me, tracking apps give me the perfect balance of safety and space and it’s a win-win for everyone.

Originally published as I use a tracking app on my teens - here's how I get away with it