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It's weird to see adults curl up and cuddle - not just hug - with their parents

"What I saw made me uncomfortable... or maybe I am the weird one?"

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My mum has never told me that she loves me. It's a cultural and generational thing. (Or... maybe she doesn't actually love me... I never thought of that.)

Anyway, even when I was an utterly adorable little girl, she never hugged me. These days, I force myself on her and it's super awkward, but I'm glad I was able to break the curse with her - and with my own son.

I know I'm not the Lone Ranger with this experience, so when I saw an online post this week asking, "Is it weird to cuddle with your parents as an adult?", I clicked on it to read about other people's childhood traumas.

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"I feel disgusted"

The reactions to the post were divided, with some feeling uncomfortable about parental affection.

"Not gonna judge anyone else on this. But I would be super uncomfortable cuddling with either of my parents," wrote one.

Another said, "Personally I feel disgusted when my parents so much as touch me or try show any affection. I really don't love them at all. So I say you should enjoy the privilege of having good, loving parents."

Some shared their very valid, and tragic reasons for feeling "weird" about it, such as this person, who wrote:

"Both my parents had been molested as children by family members and essentially taught me to not let anyone touch me and don’t touch anyone.

"I’ve been told this is a really abnormal upbringing, but I think it makes sense, they didn’t want to risk what happened to them happening to me, so they really hammered it in to not be physical with anyone and to be very critical of any physicality someone had towards me.

"I cannot even FATHOM cuddling with my parents. Not as a child, not as an adult. It’s unthinkable to me."

Image: iStock
Image: iStock

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"I'm 53 and I still cuddle my dad who is 83"

Many were lucky enough to be able to have a more positive take.

" I'm 53, and I still cuddle my dad, who is 83," one shared.

"In college, I was at a friend's house and their adult sister was cuddle up with their dad watching a sports game. I thought it was weird until I realized I hadn't hugged my parents in years and maybe I was the weird one," wrote another, to which someone replied, "Congrats on seeing something that made you uncomfortable and turning to introspection instead of judgement."

In general, cuddling with a parent was supported.

"Not to be that guy, but humans, as a species, are social by nature. Having the want to cuddle with your parents, who birthed and nurtured you, is not weird by any means," reassured this person.

Others were more introspective, writing, "Do it while you have them. They won't be here forever. I learned the hard way," and "Weird for me, not weird for you. My relationship with my parents shouldn't define yours."

Originally published as It's weird to see adults curl up and cuddle - not just hug - with their parents

Original URL: https://www.thechronicle.com.au/lifestyle/parenting/its-weird-to-see-adults-curl-up-and-cuddle-not-just-hug-with-their-parents/news-story/28b32d5421882e8a9b36ef4c7ef844a5