I am living proof of the latest news on pregnancy: that it ages a woman's body

"They think the research is breaking news... but we could have told them this and saved a lot of time and money."

Hello. I have important news that anyone who's ever been pregnant would never in a million years have known.

As I scanned my social media feed recently, a pregnancy study featured across multiple news sites caught my attention: “Pregnancy Can Increase a Woman’s Biological Age.” 

A little perplexed about this ‘news’ at first, I eventually came to realise that yes, science had (finally) confirmed something that most women have known for years – pregnancy and motherhood are killers. Literally.

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"Pregnancy ages us"

I hate to break it to you, hardworking scientists from Columbia University, and I am really not trying to undermine, make light of, or criticise your hard work, which most likely spent years doing. But the thing is, any mum, or woman who has ever been pregnant could have confirmed this hypothesis in seconds.

But out of respect, let’s look at the findings.

The scientists involved studied 1735 women and identified a striking difference in women’s DNA—revealing that women who had been pregnant between four and 14 months were biologically older than their peers who hadn't, even after controlling for factors such as income level and smoking habits. And the longer you’re pregnant/ more you are pregnant, the higher your biological age becomes.

And while discovering a natural process like pregnancy ages the only gender who can grow a human and give birth isn’t overly surprising (albeit unfair), the fact that it does so even more than inhaling chemicals and poison, well that just feels like an insult to our already injured pelvic floors.

Again though, this isn’t entirely surprising: I mean I need just look at myself IN THE MIRROR to document the findings of this nearly two-thousand-person study.

Shona pregnant, and Shona reading this breaking news. Image: supplied

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Evidence 1: My hair.

While lucky enough to still have thick hair that there is also a lot of, I was still a victim of pregnancy hair loss. This has meant while I am still left with more than an adequate amount, I also have an abundance of ‘baby hairs’ nearly 10 years after my last birth.

And for those of you who also have these little flyaways that can never be tamed and always stick out at weird, really ugly angles, well, they are a pain in the bum (or head).

But alongside these pesky little hairs are the sheer number of white strands I now possess that without regular hair colouring, would have taken over my entire head at the ripe, old age of 39.

Interestingly, the first one I ever sprouted was a few months after the arrival of my first child. Coincidence? I think not.

Evidence 2: My skin

Then of course there are my fine lines. Before conceiving my first child, well I was baby-faced. Post-children, it’s like a topographic map.

But it’s not just the physical signs of ageing that pregnancy imprints itself on but women’s inner workings as well.

Again, let me use my own ageing body to document.

Image: supplied

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Evidence 3: My back

It hurts—a lot.

My back hurts at the top, all the way to my bum (which I have learnt post-baby is the sciatic nerve).

When did this pain begin? 2012 along with my first baby.

I’d take a guess and say this is partly due to pregnancy, labour, and her fixation with being held all the time. Oh, and probably because she decided walking wasn’t really for her until after her sister arrived 18 months later leaving me carrying two children on numerous occasions, one of whom by this time wasn’t a lightweight.

Evidence 3: Hips

We all know that pregnancy and childbirth can alter your anatomy, specifically your hips. Yep, they widen, and they stay that way. For me, this has meant physio and regular exercises to reconcile this move and a pillow shoved between my legs every night as I sleep to help prevent pain.

Evidence 4: Abdominal muscles

Then we have the old gap between your abs (diastasis recti)- that lovely abdominal stretch that can get quite large and sometimes, regardless of how hard you try, cannot be remedied without surgery.

Evidence 5: Everything else

Yep, I’m talking haemorrhoids, vaginal dryness, and stretch marks, not to mention injury or trauma to your vagina while giving birth.

Plus, this is all without going into emotional, mood and mental health changes which can take a huge hit with pregnancy, childbirth, and motherhood.

And scientists say pregnancy adds years to your biological clock- pffft, how can this possibly be?!

Originally published as I am living proof of the latest news on pregnancy: that it ages a woman's body