'I felt a lot of pressure to keep trying, but my boobs just weren’t making any milk'

"I remember in the class we were shown not one, but two slides of all the terrible things your baby could be exposed to if they are formula fed."

When I was pregnant, my husband and I decided to take weekly prenatal classes to help prepare us for our baby's arrival.

Over three weeks, we covered labour and birthing, followed by life with a newborn and the final week, when we discussed how a baby can bring a new dynamic to your relationship.

I remember in the class about caring for your newborn, we were shown not one, but two slides on the benefits of breastfeeding your baby and all the terrible things your baby could be exposed to if they are formula fed.

I had always planned on breastfeeding, but these slides filled me with immense pressure and anxiety that if I weren’t able to breastfeed, I’d be setting my child up for two slides worth of short and long-term illnesses and diseases. 

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“Damned if you do and damned if you don’t”

I found breastfeeding at the start incredibly difficult and, at times, excruciatingly painful, and I had no idea how I would be able to continue.

After hours of researching and chatting with new mums, I came across the Silverette nursing cups, which were the saviour of my breastfeeding journey.

However, for many other mums, like Jenna from Sylvania Waters, no matter how hard they tried or how many lactation biscuits they ate, their bodies couldn’t produce enough milk to sustain their baby and formula was the only option. 

“I felt a lot of pressure from my community nurse to keep trying, but my boobs just weren’t making any milk,” Jenna told Kidspot.

“My son wasn’t putting on enough weight, and I felt so guilty that I couldn’t feed him, but I didn’t know what I was supposed to do.”

She went on to reveal the judgement she felt when she switched to formula, “It was pretty crappy on two fronts,” she explained.

“I felt terrible I wasn’t doing what all the other mums around me did so easily, but the stigma around formula feeding is still so bad.

“It was a damned if you do and damned if you don’t situation.”

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An expert weighs in

We thought we’d find an expert to give us her insights into why this ‘breast is best’ mentality is doing more harm than good.

That’s when we found Edwina Sharrock, a registered midwife, emergency nurse, founder of Birth Beat, Philips Avent advocate, wife, and proud mum of two (wow—what a resume!).

Edwina was quick to shine a light on this philosophy, “In my work, I see firsthand the immense pressure that mums can feel to breastfeed, and let’s be honest to ace everything all at once, but the reality is that it’s not an option for everybody.”

She added, “Breastfeeding can be complicated and sometimes involves physical and emotional challenges that can make it super challenging for some.”

“I work with parents every day, and successful feeding looks different for everyone – there is no one “only way” to feed your baby, and this is a stigma we need to dismantle,” she explained. 

“We should be empowering parents to feed in a way that fosters a positive experience for both them and their babies, and products such as bottles that the baby likes can relieve immense stress by providing choice and flexibility.”

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“It’s exhausting enough”

Edwina went on to tell Kidspot that the stigmas attached to bottle feeding are nothing but harmful.

“Phrases and language surrounding feeding practices can increase the feeling of negative judgement towards parents, and as a result, they can feel shame or guilt if they are unable to breastfeed.,” she explained. 

“Parenting, while a beautiful thing, can be exhausting enough as it is, so the additional pressures surrounding feeding is neither supportive nor helpful.”

Those who are unable to or choose not to breastfeed are definitely not alone. 

Recent research by baby product brand Philips Avent has shown that nearly three quarters (74%) of Aussie parents mix feed or bottle feed their babies, with a huge portion (41%) of parents admitting they have struggled with their breastfeeding journey. 

Four in five Aussie mums also feel they bear most of the responsibility when it comes to feeding their baby, with almost half agreeing they wish it were easier to share the load with others. 

It takes a village

“Bottle feeding offers flexibility, whether that’s for mum to go back to work sooner or for friends and family to help with feeding,” said Edwina.

“It also allows for feeding duties to be shared not only amongst parents but grandparents, friends and even neighbours – and Philips Avent’s research shows that more than half of Aussie parents (53%) admit it takes a village to raise a baby,” she added.

When it comes to bottle feeding, a staggering 61% of parents feel relieved others can share the feeding duties and it’s no longer just up to mum. 

“This act of sharing the feeding responsibility can go a long way in relieving the pressure that mums can feel to do all the feeding themselves and empower them to seek support from their loved ones when it comes to feeding.,” said Edwina.

RELATED: Aussie mum shamed in mums' group for ordering coffee

"61% of parents feel relieved others can share the feeding duties and it’s no longer just up to mum." Source: iStock

Fed is best

Whatever you choose to do (whether directly or indirectly), nourishing your baby, keeping them safe and taking care of yourself is all they need.

From experience and chatting with mums like Jenna or experts like Edwina, we mums are doing our best for our little ones.

It’s nobody's business how or what you decide to feed your baby, and if anyone (except a professional who sees you as a person and not a milk machine) thinks otherwise, you have our permission to tell them to bugger off!

Originally published as 'I felt a lot of pressure to keep trying, but my boobs just weren’t making any milk'