I make my teen son's bed and tidy his room every day to give him a break

"His life is already stressful, I enjoy making a peaceful room for him to come home to and he deserves that," a mum has said in a highly controversial clip.

One mum is facing a ton of backlash on social media after admitting she tidies up her teenage son's room and makes his bed every morning after he goes to school. 

"I started doing this every morning after I drop him off at school," Shannon Tarkey wrote in her Instagram video post, which shows her picking some clothes off the floor and straightening the bed.

"Not because he won't, and not because I do everything for him. He has his own chores and has been taught his entire life to clean up after himself. But when he's getting himself up early in the mornings and rushing off to school this is something I've come to enjoy doing for him."

She added that he is a good student, completing his homework and regularly cleaning up after himself. But that wasn't good enough for many viewers.

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"Expecting a clean house but not helping"

Many of the three million viewers of Shannon's clip did not approve of her habit.

"He's gonna make his wife so furious one day expecting a clean house but not helping," one said.

Another echoed, "Although this is very kind and sweet of you, when he gets married, he will think this is also what his wife should do for him. I married a man who thought I was supposed to be just like his mum. It took many years for my husband to learn to serve in the home."

A third wrote, "My kids made their own beds when they got up in the morning; this is ridiculous, we're supposed to set an example. My kids also did other chores every day.

"And now you’re teaching him that that is his wife's job in the future. I get loving our kids but there also comes a point where you teach them how to be responsible for their own peace and not expect others to cater to them."

Others were more brutal, with one saying: "You’re feeling pretty good about yourself, and I hate to tell you this, but you're setting your son up to be an adult who doesn't know how to take care of themselves."

Shannon Tarkey with her husband and five children. Source: Instagram

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"Don't waste your breath"

Many shared personal cautionary tales, such as this viewer: "My mother did this for my brother. She thought it was so sweet. Just for a while she thought. Just while he’s so busy she thought.

"You know what happened? He grew up to expect that treatment from every woman he dated, then from the woman he married, and that marriage failed.

"He's on to a second woman he's about to marry, and he’s still no better. She serves him constantly. He does nothing. No bed making, no dishes, no laundry, no ‘women’s work’ of any kind. So please stop."

But Shannon did not agree with the negative feedback at all, and replied in the comments section.

"To those saying I'm 'babying him' - My son also hunts, fishes, sweeps, vacuums, keeps his room organized, and takes care of our animals. He probably knows more life skills than most grown men in today's society so don't waste your breath with negative comments.

"If my son was not responsible and hardworking, I would expect him to make his bed every morning himself. But because he is very hardworking and helps out with whatever we need around the home this is something I've come to enjoy doing for him as a small act of love.

"The comments about him needing to do it on his own are irrelevant to me because my son already knows what hard work and responsibility is."

Is making her son's bed every morning an act of kindness or just ensuring his future laziness? Source: Instagram

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It wasn't all negative 

There were some mothers who came to Shannon's defense. 

"Girl mum! My baby is 15 and after she leaves for school I clean her room. I plug up her iPad/Mac etc so they are charged and ready for when she comes home. I make breakfast, lunch, iron outfits, comb hair, and anything else I think she needs from me. She has years as an adult but her time as a child is limited," one wrote.

And there was this different perspective: "As a mother, I hate that you even have to justify this to anyone. This world is not the same and our kiddos need our support in the same, but different ways. Our parents didn’t have to talk to us about boys and girls sharing restrooms. If making his bed brings you both peace and comfort, then that’s about the most normal thing a mother and child can bond over in 2024."

Originally published as I make my teen son's bed and tidy his room every day to give him a break