‘I was shamed by my mother’s group for having to stop breastfeeding’

“Wow… I’m not even going to pretend I’m okay with that message.” 

When Isabelle became a mum, she never imagined she couldn’t breastfeed her baby.

But after three months of low supply, cracked nipples, three cases of mastitis, weekly appointments with a lactation consultant and physio, and an 8mL drained abscess, her body and spirit were at absolute breaking point.

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“I didn’t know who to listen to”

Despite her trying everything she could to nourish her baby, it seemed Isabelle was getting unhelpful and conflicting advice on how to cope.

“I was annoyed and angry because I was given different advice from everyone,” she told Kidspot.

“Massage the lump. Don’t massage the lump. Cold compress. No, hot compress. Keep breastfeeding. Stop breastfeeding. Pump. Don’t pump… it was so overwhelming, and I didn’t know who to listen to.”

Stigma around formula

Pregnant women are told of all the benefits of breastfeeding their babies, but they are never informed of what to do if they simply can’t do it.

There’s such a negative stigma around not breastfeeding your baby, and many mums feel a sense of guilt and failure.

“I felt disappointed in myself and my body,” revealed Isabelle.

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The abscess became a protruding lump causing Isabelle incredible pain and needed to be drained. Source: Supplied

Judgment from other mums

Isabelle confided in what was three months of agonising torture every time it came to feeding her baby to her mother’s group, and one mum’s comments left her devastated.

“Have you tried lactation cookies?” she asked. 

“Try that because breast really is best for our bubs”

RELATED: This woman is our new breast friend

You go, girl! Source: Supplied

Instead of understanding the pain she had endured, including extracting an 8ML abscess from her breast, she was met with judgment.

“At first, I was like, is this girl kidding?” she told Kidspot.

“Then I got upset with myself, but this quickly turned to anger, and I had to reply.”

“Wow… I’m not even going to pretend i’m okay with that message.” she wrote.

“I’m sure you’re coming from a “good place”.. but please remember when you say stupid shit like that to me, a new mother, who has literally gone through hell to get to this point, i really don’t need to hear what’s best for my baby.”

After hitting send, Isabelle decided to leave the group and never looked back.

RELATED: Mum’s mission to normalise post-baby saggy boobs

Isabelle was able to capture a special moment breastfeeding before she switched to formula. Source: @_thegoldenyears

Why breast isn’t ALWAYS best

"As soon as I switched to formula, I stopped dreading feeding time, and I was able to just focus on nourishing my baby, enjoying being a mum and also looking after my own mental and physical health,” revealed Isabelle.

Isabelle did absolutely everything she could, and it just wasn’t working, so what was she supposed to do next?

I’m not denying there are studies and facts and figures about the benefits of breastfeeding.

But as a baby who was formula-fed as a result of my mum having chronic mastitis, I’m here to reassure any mums out there who felt they’ve failed their child.

Without tooting my own horn, I’m a double-degree educated woman who is currently studying for her master’s degree. 

I’m happily married and have a baby of my own.

I don’t have extra limbs or any underlying health issues caused by a lack of breast milk.

I was a happy baby, and I’m a happy adult who can do everything my sister, who was breastfed exclusively til she was one, can do.

Both Isabelle and her baby are happy and healthy, and that's all that matters. Source: Supplied

You got this mumma!

Motherhood is hard enough without adding beating yourself up for something you can’t control to the list.

If you’re feeding your baby and they are happy and healthy, you’re doing your job perfectly.

Originally published as ‘I was shamed by my mother’s group for having to stop breastfeeding’