The little punctuation mark that is now a feminist issue

Ah, all the ways women are taught to police language and behaviour; all the rules to adhere to. All of it is about making ourselves nicer, sweeter. Smaller.

Women are told to remove that first gushy line in job emails because, well, do men communicate in quite such a cringy way? Picture: istock

The screamer! In some quarters, a feminist issue! Woohoooo! What am I talking about? That little dot and vertical line at the end of the first three sentences, otherwise known as an exclamation mark. But in old-fashioned newspaper-speak, a screamer. A gasper. A startler. Gender bias, much? In hacker-land, it’s known as a bang, a shriek or a pling.

Hang on, am I meant to even be using a screamer in this very serious column in this very serious rag? Not bloody likely, screams the world! But why a feminist issue? Because, well, ! and !!!! are often judged as way too girly. Most often used by young women to denote uncontainable excitement. Possibly whenever Taylor Swift is mentioned.

Ah, all the ways women are taught to police language and behaviour; all the rules to adhere to. We’re encouraged to take away the “just” in our talk, the “like” and “um” and “you know”. We’re prodded to stop saying “sorry” quite so much. To remove that first gushy line in job emails because, well, do men communicate in quite such a cringy way? Sorry to bother you, but … hope you’re having a nice day ... trust you had a great weekend … All of it is about making ourselves nicer, sweeter. Smaller. We use, sinfully, ALL CAPS and repeating letters. Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! We’re told to eliminate uptalk, that oh-so-Australian rising inflection at the end of a declarative sentence. And of course, to cut out the appalling screamer. Because the assumption, with so much of this, is Pleeeeeease like me. Please don’t be threatened.

Linguistics professor Robin Lakoff wrote a seminal book in the 1970s called Language and Woman’s Place, which concluded that our verbal habits mean one thing: a lack of confidence. But for some feminists, use of the exclamation mark has morphed to become something proudly, warmly, connectingly female. In their circles, use of the exclamation mark challenges the trope that a more muted, clipped, masculine language is the default in terms of workplace hierarchy and leadership. They consider the perky little screamer a challenge to sexist convention. To the idea that particularly female qualities – empathy, connection, compassion – won’t get you to the top in a workplace. These feminists encourage the screamer as a particularly womanly way of veering our grammar. Loryn Brantz, author of Feminist Baby, considers it an act of protest: “To use exclamation points,” she has written, “is a very small and subtle way to defy the patriarchy of the workplace (!)”

Screamers are associated with teenage girls, yes, but the opposite can be a tone that’s brusque, assertive and cold. Exclamation marks convey emotion, extremely economically. They’re honest, open-hearted, warm. Embedded in them is the gift of enthusiasm.

To me, screamers are not just about Tay-Tay levels of enthusiasm. They convey friendliness and empathy – qualities that have their place in a feminised workplace, in any workplace. In my world, screamers are used to convey enthusiasm for a new book, a novel’s cover, the affirmation of a publishing deadline. Why eliminate qualities of spontaneous honesty and connection from our business discourse? We could consider things like feminised signoffs and screamers as a sign of a more empathetic, user-friendly working environment.

Exclamation marks no longer convey the shouty, cranky tones of yesteryear. “If I end an email with ‘Thanks!’, explains linguist Gretchen McCulloch, “I’m not shouting or being particularly enthusiastic; I’m just trying to convey that I’m sincerely thankful, and I’m saying it with a bit of a social smile.”

For some, the screamer equals joy. “Vivacity is surrender,” wrote Les Murray once, and to me, vivacity is also connection. And that’s nothing to be afraid of.