There’s a time in the life-cycle when a particular word spills forth, quite involuntarily, from the parental mouth. That word is chaperone. It is uttered when parents are typically aged in their mid-forties and their offspring is around 16.
I have a theory that the word chaperone lies dormant, stored in the unused vocabulary compartment of the brain, before being jolted into relevance and usage soon after the arrival of teenagers. “No, you cannot go because… because… you don’t have a chaperone!”
Within a year or so, though, parents invariably lose the battle. As a consequence, the word chaperone immediately falls into silence and is never used or heard of again. Such is the short lifespan of chaperone.
Despite this, I quite like the word. It derives, of course, from French, and refers to someone who accompanies another person in order to assure their safety, honour and propriety. Plus, a chaperone might even provide a perspective on the suitor’s prospects and intentions!
The word lost its relevance late last century with the rise of the sexual revolution. Today’s thinking is that it’s a fuddy-duddy word and concept from another era. And to some extent I agree. But unlike other similar words, chaperone has not migrated to other meanings or usage. Indeed, it seems destined to be forever associated with dated protocols of courtship.
By way of contrast, the word shepherd refers to people who guard and guide sheep. But today we shepherd a bill through parliament. The word shepherd has survived quite nicely despite the demise of the sheep-minding business. It’s a similar case with the word audit, meaning to verify a set of accounts – these days we often audit, meaning review, a complex series of events and interactions in everyday life that have nothing to do with accounting. The word has migrated beyond its original scope.
But not so chaperone – and yet we now need ever greater levels of governance in matters of public administration, and in political and ethical behaviour. Here is a perfect market for chaperone to do what it does best: to assure good and rightful process. In a world of fake news, of scams and of rising concern about the truthfulness and even the mental acuity of political candidates, we need access to independent advice. We need a kind of digital chaperone to report back on would-be suitors seeking our vote or our hard-earned dollars.
A blue tick in social media is intended to convey authenticity. But in today’s world of spin and counter-spin, how do we know what is real? Goodness, we even speak of my truth and your truth! We need something that sits above the fray – not connected to candidates, to business leaders, to the left/right media – to ensure that what we are hearing is the unspun truth. And we need to know that this so-called digital chaperone is beyond reproach.
Sadly, modern society offers fertile ground for those skilled in the dark arts of managed information. Maybe there is scope to digitise the chaperone process, to better interpret the suitor’s seductive spiel.
And wouldn’t that be the ultimate irony: the 19th century’s chaperone finally finds a new purpose in the digital world by offering advice on old-fashioned values like assurance, propriety and the observation of protocols.
The perfect late summer salad
If your peaches are already super sweet, don’t even bother grilling them.
A Greek salad with the lot, and then some
The surprise here is the stone fruit, which pops with sour–sweetness to elevate the lot.