We spent $69 billion online shopping last year, so why is delivery still such a nightmare?

When Melbourne radio producer Amanda Catalano, 35, posted a tongue-in-cheek TikTok parodying her Australia Post notifications, she tapped into a very modern problem: parcel anxiety. Picture it: you order something online and are immediately assailed by a series of texts and emails tracking its journey – right up until it’s delayed or you find a “Sorry we missed you” card on the doorstep.

“I haven’t walked into an actual shop in years, so I’m constantly buying things online, meaning I’m constantly getting 1000 texts from both the brand and [the postal service],” Catalano says. “I had no choice but to make fun of it.” As a parent, the stakes feel higher, she says: “When you’re desperately waiting for a part for your breast pump, a day can feel like a week.”

“Parcel anxiety is a real form of anticipatory stress,” says clinical psychologist Kerstin Anderson-Ridge. Credit: Getty Images

More than 8000 people liked her video. Waiting for an Amazon box to arrive is, it seems, an emotional rollercoaster, but we’re also hooked on the thrill of the track.

Australians spent a record $69 billion online last year, up 12 per cent on 2023, according to Australia Post’s latest e-commerce report. Another Australia Post stat reveals a parcel arrival notification is one of life’s top daily joys for Aussies, even if that excitement is sometimes mingled with eco guilt, frustration and anxiety. And, according to a survey by camera-doorbell brand Ring, 75 per cent of Londoners struggle to relax when travelling, with 34 per cent citing “parcel stress” – whether it’s fear of missing a delivery or the increasing threat posed by “porch pirates”.

In response, more Australians are turning to PO boxes and their digital descendants, virtual mailboxes: parcels are sent to a real address that isn’t yours, where their contents are scanned so you can view them via a secure online account and decide how you’d like to proceed.

Perth-based clinical psychologist Kerstin Anderson-Ridge says this relationship with our mail is worth analysing: “It might sound light-hearted, but parcel anxiety is a real form of anticipatory stress,” she explains, adding that constant delivery alerts create a dopamine-driven loop: excitement, followed by anxiety about missed deliveries, delays or theft.

Social-media unboxing culture doesn’t help. It turns cardboard boxes into emotional events: a little celebratory hit we grow to rely on and grieve when it doesn’t arrive on cue. “It’s this kind of micro-stress that can develop into emotional exhaustion,” says Anderson-Ridge. Her advice? Turn off notifications when possible and reset expectations. (Half of Gen X shoppers want deliveries within three days, according to Australia Post data, and they’re prepared to pay extra for next-day shipping.)

Meanwhile, the delivery world races to make things faster. In October, Amazon announced the development of “smart delivery glasses” for drivers that are designed to improve safety – and speed up the so-called “last mile”. According to the tech giant, the new glasses will offer turn-by-turn walking directions and record proof of delivery. If a hazard pops up, they’ll guide drivers safely around it. Future versions could even alert a driver if they leave a parcel on the wrong doorstep. The downside for online shoppers? Smoother deliveries might not ease our anxiety: that’s our journey.

As Anderson-Ridge explains, “It’s better to calm the part of our brain that doesn’t like uncertainty and learn that things still move along even when we’re not watching.”

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