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Remember the TV ad? Togs, togs, togs … togs … togs … eeew … undies, undies, undies, UNDIES!

The big question posited by the ad was, when does a pair of budgie smugglers become underwear? How far away from the beach is it okay, then, all of a sudden, not okay, to walk around in your sluggos? The answer? “If you can’t see the water, you’re in underpants.”

The ad, for an ice cream, nonetheless, concluded that “anywhere more than 300 metres from the beach is an underpants transformation area”. Beyond that, it becomes very awkward.

We were confronted with this squeamish issue last week, sitting in the window of a new bar in North Fremantle when a bloke in Speedos walked past on his way to Leighton Beach. We were, well, shocked. He might as well have been naked. He was well and truly outside the 300-metre zone.

My dining partner – the Uberblonde, a wiseguy of epic proportions – began muttering “undies, undies, undies” when she first spotted the bloke striding down the cobbled Freeman Loop toward the sea. Once he had passed, she switched it up to “togs, togs, togs, togs”. Larf! We nearly had an infarct.

And yes, you can see the sea from Al Lupo. Just. It is perhaps a few metres more than 300 away from the Indian Ocean, smack bang in the middle of the underpants transformation area.

There is a beachside vibe going on at Al Lupo. You can come in off the beach, sans sluggos, if that’s your thing. But it’s sophisticated too.

Al Lupo’s greatest assets though are its owner and its architect.

Owner Greg Leaver used architect Michael Patroni from Space Agency to design his Strange Company bar in Freo several years ago, and it remains one of the finest bar spaces in WA. It is beautiful and timeless, and we reckon its excellence has a direct influence on customer experience.

The food is polished and just right for a soigne beachfront bar like Al Lupo.

Patroni has pulled off similar architectural magic at Leaver’s Al Lupo, which has been open just weeks. It is a stunning, understated room anchored by a long bar which spears almost the entire length of the venue. Its modern finishes, colours, textures and furniture all add up to another enduring classic from Patroni. And while it is modern, it’s not trendy. Trendy never lasts. Like all good architecture, it enhances the human experience – or to put it another way, it just makes you feel good. It’s the sort of place you say to a mate, “let’s go to Al Lupo” and you’re rewarded with a “wow, where did you find this place?”

But, for all its pulchritude and obvious charms, what’s the food like? Good news. It’s equally charming.

Hand-cut shoestring fries are a great beer snack. They are as thin as a supermodel, nicely crisp and dusted with chipotle salt. We were seagulling all over them. Every day.

The winner on the day was a salad of warm, charred cucumber with puffed rice and ricotta. Who knew crunchy, charred cucumber could taste so good? The chunky salad was as green as envy, refreshing, light and artistically presented with fronds of dill.

A spicy lamb hot dog had all the right moves: great sausage, good bun, tart grain mustard and vinegary, lactic pickles. The sausage was formed from a rough grind of lamb, well spiced and seasoned and properly grilled. Loads of flavour.

Beef rump cap was generous. The meat had been cooked to just shy of medium rare, exactly how you want it. It had a super crust and the right amount of smoky char from the grill. It was plated with watercress and a sobrasada (think a Spanish version of nduja) flavoured vinaigrette. Straight forward, lovely, well executed.

Scallops were roasted on the shell with chilli butter. This is pretty standard stuff, but, again, it stood out for its perfectly timed cookery and punchy flavoured butter.

They’re not reinventing any wheels at Al Lupo, but – to flog the wheels analogy – they’ve put wide rims and low-profile tyres on a menu that is very much a roll call of Perth bar/restaurant favourites. The food is polished and just right for a soigne beachfront bar like Al Lupo.

For dessert, tarte tatin is served with house-made vanilla ice cream. It is made to order and to achieve that, the kitchen slices the apples thin, as you would for a galette, and from there, it’s all tatin technique. Caramel bottom, apple slices, pastry on top and inverted for service. You have to have this. Even for those of us who rarely order dessert, it is a must. Perhaps the wine list could offer up a wine which drinks well with it: a Sauternes, Barsac, Montbazillac or a dessert-style champagne.

The wine list is generous with a good selection of 18 wines by the glass. The list proper offers a roster of wines from $58 to $245, but demonstrably in the medium priced $60-$80 range. That’s good news for casual drinkers and those who want to treat Al Lupo as a regular, not special occasion, bar.

Greg Leaver is a restaurant and bar pro and clearly very customer focused. He’s delivering a food, wine and service standard we all want when we go out, and it’s delivered with precision, an utter lack of pretension and zero showboating.

And remember beach bunnies, outside the restaurant they’re called togs, inside the restaurant they are definitely undies, so please, for the love of God, dress appropriately.