Climb three flights of stairs or brave the poky elevator and you'll feel as if you've landed in the middle of a debauched country club garden party. Inside Madame Brussels (named for a 19th century brothel owner) it's all pink and green pastels, patio furniture, lattice screens and fake turf. A rooftop terrace overlooks the leafy top end of Bourke Street. While cocktail pitchers are fatally attractive, the drinks list also offers roses, sparkling wines and bottled beers. Retro bar snacks include toasted chicken sandwiches and chocolate fondue. Staff in skimpy tennis outfits can be a little vague, but that seems just so in this house of kitsch.

Staff in tennis outfits, cocktails in pitchers, chicken in sandwiches - and all on a rooftop overlooking leafy Bourke Hill. Why wouldn't you?