Months-long wait for ‘Lessons in Chemistry’ at Leongatha library

Mushrooms are believed to have killed three locals and the fallout is an intense media spotlight shining on the town – and an incredible demand for one novel at the Leongatha library.

A fiction novel is in hot demand in Leongatha after a lethal lunch last month.

Mark Buttler and Andrew Rule with the latest crime buzz.

Book is women’s poison in mushroom town

Mushrooms have killed three locals but they’re one element of the literary flavour of the month in Leongatha.

It seems those in The ‘Gatha can’t get enough of a best-selling book called Lessons in Chemistry, penned by US author Bonnie Garmus.

Its prime character is chemist Elizabeth Zott who winds up hosting a cooking show where she challenges women to change the status quo from the kitchen.

There are 61 people on the Leongatha library’s waiting list for the book, which contains one striking section on how to poison people.

“Luckily, there are much faster ways to kill off your loved ones, she continued, walking to her easel, where a selection of mushroom drawings was on display,” Garmus wrote.

“And mushrooms are an excellent place to start. It it were me, I’d opt for the Amanita Phalloides, she said, tapping one of the drawings, also known as the death cap mushroom.

The township of Leongatha south east of Melbourne, where a local woman, Erin Patterson held a lunch and three people died after suspected mushroom poisoning. Picture: Ian Currie

“Not only does its poison withstand high heat, making it a go-to ingredient for a benign-looking casserole, but it very much resembles its non-toxic cousin, the straw mushroom. So, if someone dies and there’s an inquiry, you can easily play the dumb housewife and plead mistaken mushroom identity.”

Our colleague Brooke Grebert-Craig visited the library and was told it could take months to get a copy, which is probably much less time than it will take to get a resolution in the complex real-life matter playing out locally.

“It’s a hugely popular book among the ladies. Pity you can’t check the library cards like the old days,” one local source said.

The novel is in popular demand in the regional township.

In case you’ve been holidaying on Mars, local couple Don and Gail Patterson died after being served a beef wellington late last month.

The meal was served by the Pattersons/ daughter-in-law Erin, who remains under homicide squad scrutiny.

Also dead is Heather Wilkinson, whose husband Ian is fighting for life in the Austin Hospital.

Living in interesting times

THE news is all bad and plenty expensive for Clare Voitin, wife of former bikie lawyer John Voitin.

Mrs Voitin’s application for a High Court appeal in a $2m legal battle was recently rejected, ending a protracted dispute with a fellow member of the eastern suburbs private school set.

That man, a former client of her husband, had accused her of knowingly receiving his millions.

The High Court knock-back is another chapter in a turbulent period for the family.

This has included bankruptcy action against Mr Voitin. Not to mention his being shot in the leg in the family driveway at Kew in an unsolved attack. Then there was an aggravated burglary.

At least Clare Voitin has other pursuits to serve as a distraction in troubled times.

She some years ago established her own gin label in the Heathcote area with the slogan of bringing “local and sustainable into a bottle.”

Clare Voitin, wife of prominent bikie lawyer John Voitin, has been accused in the County Court of knowingly receiving money of her husband's client, gym owner Roubal Beiruti.

Embattled bikie lawyer John Voitin was shot in the leg outside his Kew mansion.

A promotional website says the Voitin rocket fuel has “the potential to be unique and unlike any other gin in the world.”

What it didn’t mention is that, like any serious gin, it is highly flammable. Which might be a problem if there’s another fire like the one when the family’s Bellarine Peninsula farmhouse was torched almost exactly four years ago.

The downside of being such entrepreneurial go-getters is that, while things are good, every Voitin venture is highlighted. Meaning that when the bad times hit, there’s nowhere to hide.

Before the outrages such as the farmhouse arson at Swan Bay in July 2019, Clare Voitin created stylish websites promoting the family’s interests in all things bright and beautiful: naturally-grown foods, fresh air, birds and bees etc.

Back in the golden days before cranky Comanchero ex-clients came calling with guns, baseball bats and matches, the Voitin website was a symphony of self-promotion.

“Clare Voitin is a lover of eclectic pursuits. She’s an entrepreneur, ideas guru, Gin producer, avid food gardener, published author, marathon runner, farmer’s wife and mother of three boys — her ‘greatest mates’ and the reason behind pretty much everything she does.”

The self-styled “farmer’s wife” has a good eye for a quotation or three from her “eclectic” sources.

Back when things were rosy, she borrowed a line from Lucille Ball: “I’d rather regret the things I’ve done than regret the things I haven’t done.”

Oh, is that right? These days, maybe it’s more a case of “Look before you leap.” Or “Once bitten, twice shy.”

Let’s hope the kids are all right

THERE is a Melbourne man involved in a particular industry centred on entertaining children.

He’s something of a big wheel in his chosen field and must be well-placed in terms of working-with-children checks.

This is despite a long-lost brush with the law which, it must be stressed, never made it to court.

The allegation was that this fellow had paid two girls in state care to have sex with him in the back of his car.

Police were called in and, because of the nature of the accusations, put the claim under fierce scrutiny before laying charges.

Deadline can report the matter was somehow resolved later on and the suspect has kicked on career-wise.

Weekend at Burnie, anyone?

DEADLINE will never forget the moment of truth when an AFL legend — one of the players of the century, no less — produced his mobile phone wrapped in tinfoil. This was just after he entered his own backyard by sneaking over the back fence instead of walking in the front gate.

The tinfoil, he explained, was to stop “them” tracking him. Whether “them” was aliens or the CIA or the KGB or the local coppers he did not elaborate. God only knows what he was thinking, but He isn’t the only one subscribing to the tinfoil theory.

That footballer was a country Victorian. But perhaps Tasmania is the natural home of the tinfoil brigade, not to mention other questionable enthusiasms.

Jacob Heatlie Johnston ultimately pleaded guilty to two counts of bestiality. Picture: Alex Treacy

Within a week of convicting a young man (Jacob Heatlie Johnston) for twice abducting the same goat for sexual purposes, Launceston Magistrates Court has struck another rocket scientist — this one using tin foil in an attempt to trick an ankle monitor fitted after his previous conviction for crimes of violence.

The tinfoil didn’t work but the search warrant did, so police were able to seize weapons including knuckle dusters from the lair of Bradley John Cashion, who is apparently well known to the constabulary.

Still, no matter how low you go there’s someone lower. On the same day, the court heard from one Samuel John Craig Heald, who pleaded guilty to stabbing his brother three times — and then crapping in his driveway because Bro wouldn’t let him in the house.

This happened in Burnie. There’s a documentary crying out to be made in northern Tassie. “Weekend at Burnie.”

I’m a celebrity

ONE embattled Melbourne celebrity’s rampant ego issues seem to go back many years.

This high-profile figure’s enthusiasm for drugs and al fresco sex is well known but he loves the spotlight even more.

Word reaches us that he used to visit a Bunnings warehouse regularly and buy an expensive item like a barbecue.

He would then return the purchase the next day without a receipt.

That meant he would be asked to pull out his driving licence just to make it absolutely clear he was that famous bloke from the screen.

A staff member who had not been on deck long mentioned the celebrity had been in and was told he’d been doing the same “look at me” routine for years.