Deadline: AFL star no stranger to nude photo infamy

One victim ensnared in the recent AFL nude saga is no novice when it comes to picture-leaking controversy, after an ill-fated romance with a woman who already had a (very intimidating) man in her life.

The AFL star is no stranger to controversy after a previous star-crossed romance.

Mark Buttler and Andrew Rule with the latest scallywag scuttlebutt.

Suspicious minds

It seems there will be no police inquiry into the recent AFL footballer nude pics kerfuffle because the victims don’t want the matter taken further.

Two months on from the drama, Victoria Police has received no complaint about images purportedly showing intimate images of some of the game’s biggest names.

It turns out one league figure whose name (and possibly other things) came up in the pictures was not having his first unpleasant brush with social media.

Some time ago, this smoothie became involved with a woman who already had a man in her life, someone who was not the kind to be trifled with.

The boyfriend, obviously the curious type, did some detective work on her online activity and found some fairly raunchy exchanges with the footballer, one involving a rendezvous in a car out front of his house.

Things turned sour when the injured party started distributing the material all around town.

The footballer was probably fortunate that was all that happened and that his handsome profile wasn’t rearranged.

Meanwhile, there has been much speculation about the validity of the images of the 45 players at the centre of the recent scandal.

One theory going around is that the images are deep fakes of the kind used against celebrities worldwide.

If that’s the case, it might have been expected that more of the people falsely depicted in such a defamatory manner would want action to bring the perpetrators to justice. Odd, that.

Slug Gate: Let the legal games begin

News that the family firm at the centre of the Slug Gate scandal at Dandenong has dropped its legal action against Dandenong Council will surprise countless Victorians who’ve followed the case since a slug was allegedly “found” by a council health inspector at I Cook Foods packaged food premises back in 2019.

But it hasn’t gone away. Ian Cook, whose business was wrecked by the chain of events that followed the slug’s surprise appearance on a freshly-swabbed floor, says the change of tactics is only that — all part of the legal manoeuvres thrown up when tens of millions of dollars are at stake.

I Cook founder Ian Cook leaving Supreme Court. Picture: David Geraghty

He says I Cook’s new legal advisers have reversed a decision by the original family lawyers to tackle the council head-on with a particular set of claims. There was no financial upside in pursuing the health inspector who apparently planted the slug, nor her supervisor who Cook alleges doctored a photograph of the slug because of the difficulty of proving that those two minor officials had directly caused the subsequent catastrophic financial loss to the business.

Instead, he says, his new lawyers are taking aim at a bigger target — the Victoria’s Health Department and its former head, well-known and increasingly controversial figure, Brett Sutton.

Sutton’s sky-high profile during the Covid pandemic has fallen so far he is almost horizontal. Oddly, he has not been heard of all this year, which has ignited speculation that he has been effectively gagged before the impending legal proceedings.

The Herald Sun is not suggesting Sutton has acted inappropriately, but that his knowledge about what went on behind the scenes should be made public.

Cook’s lawyers are condiment Brett Sutton will be in the witness box. Picture: Jake Nowakowski

Cook and his lawyers seem confident that the elusive Sutton will be in a witness box in the Supreme Court this month, possibly this week, answering what they suggest are going to be some extremely interesting questions under oath.

Once that is out of the way, says Cook, he is going to personally reissue a fresh set of claims against Dandenong Council employees for malicious prosecution.

His new barrister is Marcus Clarke. The Cook camp has always said that the now four-year-old case is a marathon, not a sprint. Barrister Clarke should have the necessary stamina, as he is the son of distance running legend Ron Clarke, a triple Olympic medallist.

Let the games begin.

Dead ends in a dog’s life

If Wags the cocker spaniel cadaver dog was human, she’d be threatening to strike and looking for another job. But she just keeps wagging her tail and sniffing out scents, no matter how tough a task her handlers set her.

Back in late 2021, Wags was taken into the bush around Kendall in NSW to search a huge area for the remains of little William Tyrell — seven years after he’d disappeared from his foster parents’ house. The degree of difficulty was quite something.

Late last month Wags came from Sydney to Tasmania to search for the missing teenager Shyanne-Lee Tatnell, who had not been seen since April. Again, no easy task for a hardworking spaniel, given that searchers then had no idea where to look.

Shyanne-Lee’s remains were found late last week at Nabowla, 50kms from Launceston, after police got a crucial tip-off. A 36-year-old Scottsdale farmer, Christopher Mark Jordan, was swiftly arrested and charged over the teenager’s abduction and killing.

Wags was then switched to the west of the state to search for missing Belgian tourist Celine Cremer in a remote wilderness area known as Philosopher Falls. So far, there is no sign of the woman, who went missing about six weeks ago.

Police believe Celine probably became lost in rugged bushland but have not ruled out foul play.

A genuine idiot

A wise man once said the definition of insanity is doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting a different result.

In that case, it’s clear that a crook reporting on bail at a suburban Melbourne police station is no Einstein.

This fellow had been charged with deception offences relating to the use of bogus documents.

While going through the motions of reporting for bail, the accused produced a fake driving licence to prove his bona fides.

The cop at the counter saw straight through it and the eejit has been lumbered with even more charges.

Thrown under the bus

There was drama on the far edge of Melbourne suburbia last week when a teenage girl was involved in what one media report described as a “disturbing” incident.

Two men in a white van with a Public Transport Victoria sticker had approached the girl, claiming to be bus replacement drivers.

She refused to get on board and they drove off.

The teen, thinking the whole thing was dodgy, contacted police, who eventually tracked down the driver and found he was, in fact, piloting a bus replacement.

Case closed.

A love that endures

Barbie is all the rage with the young at the minute but you can be sure something else will come along to replace it, then something after that.

Proof of that proposition is the Hanson tattoo that a respected police communications operative has worn since around the turn of the century.

That’s Hanson the band — not Pauline the politician.