Deadline: Prison no barrier to enjoying life’s luxuries

Being stranded in a Melbourne prison doesn’t necessarily stop jailbirds enjoying life’s luxuries, such as drugs, knives or even KFC.

Drugs are far from the only type of contraband smuggled into Melbourne’s prisons.

Mark Buttler and Andrew Rule with the latest scallywag scuttlebutt.

Dirty bird for jailbirds

Recent news of a guard being charged with trafficking drugs to bikies inside Port Phillip Prison had one ex-con drooling.

The former maximum security prison inmate and keen Deadline reader was licking his lips thinking of times about two decades back when he and his mates had more basic contraband needs.

He said for some years Sunday was junk food night when a couple of guards operated their own KFC and pizza delivery service long before Menulog.

The officers made a tidy earn keeping well-heeled inmates with full bellies and high cholesterol counts.

“If you’d ever eaten prison food, you’d know what a big deal it was for us,” the ex-con said.

Another former guest of the prison said there were a number of staff members, who, if they were rostered on, could be relied on to do the food run for a chosen few.

He said it was like comparing Solzhenitsyn-style gulag gruel to a top restaurant.

“Mate, it was like going from eating slop you wouldn’t feed to someone you didn’t like to eating five-star food at Crown.”

Topal’s brothel bout

Adult venues and bungling Comanchero hitman Hasan Topal seem not to combine well.

It’s little more than a year since the vast number of pursuers racked up by Topal became clear and Deadline can add another foe to a long list from both sides of the law.

Talk is that a formidable Queensland Comanchero involved in a nasty brothel punch-on might also have not-so-fond memories of Topal.

The pair is said to have tangled outside a venue in Dandenong about five years ago, in the midst of a crime rampage by Topal which would have to rate as one of the worst in the state’s history.

Topal may be no good at selecting shooting victims but definitely knows how to fight and the word is that his foe ended up in hospital after their knock-shop skirmish.

His victim is currently facing serious assault charges in the Sunshine State.

The Dandenong fracas came in the same period in which Topal had other violent run-ins at adult industry businesses.

He was jailed for his role in a savage brawl at Canberra’s Capital strip club in late 2017.

Comanchero members who were meant to be having a convivial get-together instead slugged it out before horrified onlookers.

The jungle drums indicate that the next year Topal was involved in a rather nasty incident in which a gun was held to his head in a CBD strip club.

It’s said that the man holding the weapon had made an excellent recovery after being shot in an earlier confrontation with Topal.

Topal fled overseas a few years back, leaving behind a diverse array of interested parties, from homicide squad investigators to people he’s suspected of shooting.

Then there are intended victims whose lives were saved by former model Topal’s blundered ambushing of the wrong victims.

More outlaw folk may be disturbed at his pushing the ill-fated AN0M app, which has left some Comancheros and other organised crime players up to their necks in poo.

Sex fiend looks to exit

He’s one of the country’s worst sex offenders and talk among those who know him is that he’s about to get some more freedom.

The crim has been regularly seen taking a pew at church services for some time and is believed to be eyeing a less-regulated regimen.

Stay tuned!

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Rude awakening

Bit of speculation about the reason for a firebombing at Lalor last Wednesday.

A Molotov cocktail was flung through the front window of a Darebin Drive house at 1am.

Thankfully no one was injured in what was most likely an attempt to put the frighteners on somebody.

Police believe it was a targeted attack but weren’t willing to go into whether it was related to any of the sporadic conflict from recent months up north.

New blue line a bit thin

Victoria Police says big academy intakes in recent years are the reason for a heavy drop in its recruiting numbers.

Figures in the Victoria Police annual report released on Wednesday showed the number of recruits has fallen by more than half in the space of a year.

There were 69 recruits in 2021-2022, down from the 179 of the previous financial year.

The drop in recruit numbers corresponds with a decline in police numbers overall, down from 16,284 to 16,159.

A Victoria Police spokesman said the force was not receiving as many recruit applications as it would prefer but the dual academy intakes of recent years were a big factor in the recent drop.

New figures show the number of police recruits has fall by more than half in a year. Picture: David Geraghty

The spokesman said the force had done this to meet a target of 2729 extra police over four years but had since returned to single intakes.

“Victoria Police does acknowledge recruit applications are lower than we would like,” the spokesman said.

“Like all employers we are operating in an extremely competitive job market and have also been without a recruitment advertising campaign since June 2021.”

He said a new campaign would be launched in coming months and there was confidence this would drive up applications.

The Herald Sun revealed last month that Victoria Police was struggling to find new recruits, partly because of the nation’s tight labour market.

One source told the Herald Sun competition from aggressive defence force recruiting was having an impact.

Another potential factor is the Covid-era enforcement duties handed to police, which have proved deeply unpopular with many people.

Blast from the past

A familiar face appeared on our TV screens in the aftermath of last week’s Western Highway bus smash in which Ballarat schoolgirls were injured.

Bacchus Marsh tow truck driver Trevor Oliver was one of the first on the scene of the smash, having already been nearby to deal with a separate accident.

Those with long memories will recall Mr Oliver was the former operator of a service station further up the highway at Buangor.

He took on petrol giant collusion two decades ago, resulting in some significant action from authorities on price-fixing.