40 things parents say while taking their kids to the Royal Melbourne Show
It’s that time of the year again, when parents across city prepare for an epic eight hours of whining, carting showbags and refereeing fights with inflatable bats as they take on their children’s favourite event, the Royal Melbourne Show.
Melbourne
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School holidays seem like just a few weeks ago.
Truth be told, they actually were just a few weeks ago, but they’re coming again anyway.
That means the Royal Melbourne Show will be a hive of Melbourne parents who forgot how heavy showbags can get.
Here are 40 things you are bound to utter when you take young kids to the Show.
1. “If you win the gorilla, you have to carry it.”
2. “No, we are not getting a live duck.”
3. “No, you can’t have another corn dog.”
5. “I told you you’d throw up if you went on that ride.”
6. “I wonder what happened to the chairlift.”
7. “That plastic gun has to go back in the bag as soon as we’re outside.”
8. “No, the pie isn’t a ride.”
9. “We can go and see the equestrian if you want, but don’t complain when you get bored.”
11. “You can have fairy floss if you clean your teeth as soon as we get home.”
12. “We should have come by car, this train is packed.”
13. “We should have come by train, this car park is packed.”
14. “How did you get this good at shooting a rifle?”
15. “Those cakes aren’t for eating.”
17. “Yes, with that mask on you look indistinguishable from Captain America.”
18. “No, you can’t wear it to school.”
19. “Stop doing that to the goose.”
20. “No, you shouldn’t eat five Warheads at once.”
21. “No, you don’t need an ambulance, you just ate five Warheads at once.”
23. “All right, three showbags each.”
24. “Just because you’ve been on the dodgems, doesn’t mean you can drive home.”
25. “No, you can’t ride the cow.”
26. “If you get lost I’m leaving you here.”
27. “Yes, this is where they filmed MasterChef.”
28. “No, I really don’t think George Calombaris will be here.”
29. “No, the ghosts on the ghost train aren’t real.”
30. “No, you’re not going on the ghost train.”
31. “No, the fake tattoos aren’t real.”
32. “No, you’re not getting a fake tattoo.”
33. “If you don’t stop hitting your sister with the inflatable bat, it’s going in the bin.”
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35. “I told you to go to the toilet before we left.”
36. “Yes, that’s how you can tell it’s a bull.”
37. “Keep your hands this side of the fence.”
38. “Everyone keep their eyes peeled for a spare table.”
39. “Yes, I know your feet are sore.”
40. “No, we are not coming again tomorrow.”