Alice Coster: Sam Newman run-in shows road map of when to cause a scene

When Sam Newman served up some of his usual name calling and bullying at a recent lunch, I did what I’ve always done as a woman in a man’s world. I wish I had my time over again.

Chrissie Swan rated Newman her worst celebrity encounter. Picture: Aaron Francis

Name shaming our worst and rudest celebrities is always something to pull out the popcorn for.

Inspired by Sharon Osbourne claiming Ashton Kutcher is “a rude little boy”, and the divine Miriam Margolyes saying Steve Martin was “rather horrid” to work with, our homegrown talent has revealed all about its worst celebrity interactions.

Radio host Fifi Box was first up, doubling down on Ashton Kutcher as the rudest.

Next it was Chrissie Swan who said, hands down, Sam Newman was her worst celebrity encounter.

Swan said his attitude was so appalling during an interview for her former Nova breakfast show, she felt compelled to abruptly walk out.

The interview never made it to air.

Newman, of course, promptly fired back in his usual way, telling this newspaper Swan was a “two-bit troll” among other predictable name calling.

Again, eye-rolling stuff.

But then he called Swan “a coward”.

Swan at the Logies in July. Picture: Getty

And it was this comment which had me wide-eyed in bed at 3:45am with the inner-voice on speed dial.

Because it sure ain’t Swan who is the coward.

Having taken my fair share of blows over the journey with the former Footy Show “scallywag”, it’s no secret Newman fights dirty.

He is an intelligent man and very much so, underneath all the bravado and trite he trots out, whether we agree with his opinions or not.

But when on the defensive, he always resorts to bullying and name calling.

It’s the coward’s punch of a verbal argument.

To his credit, Newman would always pick up the phone when called.

You could always rely on him to give a good quote.

Usually it had shock value, which made great copy on whatever story you were ringing about on a given day.

It taught me to pick up the phone and always make the tough call to give someone a right of reply, in spite of whatever rabid dog might be on the other end.

As a mentor once said, if you dole it out you have to be prepared to cop the punches.

So, over the years being called everything under the sun by Newman has become water off a duck’s back.

Sure, sometimes it stings but you learn to get used to it.

I think it was the “pale stale-male” comment he took umbrage to.

Or maybe it was “relevance deprived”.

Regardless, the print and podcast jousting is all fair in love and war.

But then a few weeks back I encountered Newman on the red carpet before a lunch fundraiser for children’s cancer.

Sam Newman at the Million Dollar Lunch fundraiser. Picture Rebecca Michael

Asking him the requisite, please-pose-for-a-photo-for-the-newspaper, he started at me.

But it wasn’t Newman’s antics in his Tucker Carlson T-shirt, however cruel and personal, that had me lying awake last night.

It was my own.

Instead of firing back at him as he flung his sticks-and-stones words, with ugly, old and fat among other niceties, I jollied him along in the self-deprecating way we women do, not wanting to cause a scene.

When he grabbed me on the shoulders and pulled me, spitting in my ear to go write about how he was now sexually harassing me, I again laughed him off, cajoling him, so not to cause a scene.

It was when Newman later appeared a few placemats away on the same lunch table, eye balling me across the table as a young girl talked about her cancer survival, that I finally started to lose my armour and feel really uncomfortable within my own skin.

Yes, for myself, and because I really really didn’t want to cause a scene.

In that moment I could tell he was bruising for one, but I did what I’ve always done as a woman in a man’s world.

I made a joke about myself, laughed and came up with some platitude to placate and cool the temperature.

It worked.

It always does.

It was in that moment lying awake last night that it all made sense.

For weeks I’ve been thinking about that non-consensual kiss from the now departed Spanish soccer prez.

Was it really THAT big of a deal? Why make such a fuss?

But it is a big deal and perhaps more so because the female soccer player called out the kiss, rather than brush it aside with a laugh and push it deep down inside.

Thankfully a younger generation is all too happy to call out bad behaviour.

The cowards are the Newmans of the world. The ones who resort to the lowest common denominator by name calling and bullying.

But I too was a coward at that lunch for pretending it was better not to fuel the fire, give it oxygen, or cause a fuss.

So enough with turning the other cheek, or making a self-deprecating joke to make the males feel better as they stare you down.

Instead, cause the goddamn scene.