‘I questioned whether I’d ever be loved’: how Casey Donovan fought back from catfish ‘trauma’
Singer Casey Donovan reveals how she bounced back from career and personal lows and, ironically, is now embracing her timid side for a role in Dolly Parton musical 9 To 5.
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Casey Donovan is a fighter.
She’s had a barrage of career highs and lows and humbling life lessons, no more clearly visible than winning Australian Idol as a 16 year old, only to be dumped by her record label.
Donovan, 34, also weathered a confidence-shattering bizarre catfishing hoax, orchestrated by a female “friend” over a six-year period.
The friend tricked Donovan by posing online as a man named Campbell. She even convinced Donovan to have a physical relationship with her, insisting it would “please” the singer’s fake suitor.
“It certainly stunted me, and changed my perspective on everything I knew,” Donovan says of the deep deception.
“I questioned my sexuality, I questioned who I was as a person, I questioned whether I’d ever be loved, or whether someone could ever have the capacity to love me, the way I wanted to be loved.
“It sent me on a spiral, and there’s a lot of trauma that I’ve had to work through. I was hurt for many years.
“And I just felt really stupid and hopeless. I’ve done a lot of work on myself and … living life with no regrets and, you know what? S--- happens, and it happens to good people.
“It’s how you rebuild, learn to forgive, love yourself, and move forward.”
In recent times, the bold and powerful Donovan has explored a new voice: weak, inferior and unsure.
Of course, that timid tone is the polar opposite of the powerhouse pipes Donovan – Idol winner, award-winning singer, author and musical theatre star – possesses.
But it’s an expression Donovan effortlessly infuses into Judy Bernly, a sweet woman crushed by a cheating husband, and forced into a hostile and misogynistic workplace in the Dolly Parton musical, 9 To 5, which opens in Melbourne in July.
“She comes from a very vulnerable place,” Donovan says. “I’ve placed her in a very innocent, high-pitched voice that’s nothing like mine.
“But I love her storyline. It’s sad. She finds her strength in the little things, and builds her character on that.
“It’s so great watching her go from this vulnerable, beautiful soul, to finding the courage and the guts to stand up.”
Donovan grew up in Bankstown, in Sydney’s west, raised by her mum, Tracy, and stepfather, Norm.
“Bankstown taught me many things about life,” Donovan says.
“Mostly, it taught me that I’m Casey from Bankstown, and it doesn’t matter your background, your gender or your identity. You are who you are.
“It wasn’t until I grew up that I understood things weren’t all sunshine and rainbows.”
A broken home sparked that grey area. Donovan’s biological father, Merv, walked out and left the family when she was two years old.
“It was tricky and it was different,” she says.
“My stepdad, Norm, has played a massive role in my life and I’m forever grateful and thankful to him for everything he’s done for me, my brother, and how he guided us into the people we are today.
“My family hasn’t always been amazing. But as I’ve grown older, I’ve had to learn a lot, and I’ve had those conversations with myself to see what serves my purpose, what doesn’t, and where I need to go.”
As a child, she was musical; always singing, and her in teens, played bass in a band.
“I thought I had a singing voice when I was a kid, but my mum always told me to shut up and stop humming,” Donovan says, laughing.
However, the buzz got louder when she auditioned for, and won a place, on Australian Idol. It was 2004, and shy Casey from Bankstown was 16.
“I didn’t know how to speak properly, or do interviews, talk to the audience or play to the camera,” she says.
“Everything from that time is just a blur. But each week, I got through, kept pushing forward and rolled the dice.”
“I thought I was going home after Beatles night. I stuffed up Eleanor Rigby,” Donovan adds, laughing.
“But, somehow, I magically got through, and I won it. I’m still very grateful for Idol because it gave me the life I lead now.”
The aftermath of winning a reality singing competition, especially for an inexperienced kid, wasn’t pretty. Donovan didn’t fit the pop star mould, and struggled to churn out hits.
“There was a lot of being pulled from pillar to post,” Donovan says.
“Not really knowing where I was going next was scary. I had to deal with the pressures of what the world was giving me, and adapt.”
Two years after winning Idol, she was dumped by her record label, Sony.
“I was like a deer in the headlights, like, ‘Oh, wow, look at all these people doing amazing things! I can do that!’ And then it all fell by the wayside … because I wasn’t this pop image that everyone was painting,” Donovan says.
“I started falling behind and then I got released from Sony.
“It was disappointing. I was still young, still learning about life and going through my own teenage emotions.”
That was nothing, however, compared with the cruelty and humiliation of being catfished by her then-best friend, Olga, for six years.
It occurred soon after Idol. Donovan said she fell in love with a man, online, named Campbell. But “Campbell” was an alter-ego invented by her twisted friend, whom Donovan later said was driven by repressed sexual desire.
The fictitious Campbell also convinced Donovan to have sex with Olga. The incident, and fallout, caused Donovan to spiral into sex addiction.
“That was a trauma reaction for me, and my disconnect from life,” she says.
“It wasn’t so much for the sex, because there was no emotion. For me, it was literally, I just want to feel like someone wants me … and validating myself through an addiction to wanting to be loved, and needed, and wanted.”
Donovan did find love. She is in a happy and healthy relationship with Renee Sharples, a lecturer in paramedicine who lives in Melbourne. They met on a dating app.
“She’s an absolute godsend,” Donovan says.
“It’s a beautiful relationship and we’re really happy. After many years of trauma, and having feelings thrown back in my face, it’s really validating to have someone listen, and talk through things when things are hard.
“Nothing’s ever easy, but nothing ever has to be bad.”
Indeed, Donovan has learned to take a breath, and reset, in tough times.
When the music business stopped calling, she did other work, including medical centre receptionist, and Uber driver.
“My family’s work ethic is … you need money and a roof over your head,” she says.
“I stopped doing music because I was tired, and I was over it. It’s nice to have reset. It’s important to take time out to ask, ‘What do I need? Where do I need to go?’
“I’ve done that throughout my life. I’ve had the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. But I’ve gone out, and got jobs, and reset myself, and my intention in life.”
Another reset for Donovan was the reality show, I’m A Celebrity … Get Me Out Of Here.
She entered the jungle in early 2017, and walked out with $100,000 for her chosen charity, Starlight Children’s Foundation, and goodwill from a national TV audience who suddenly saw Donovan as a grown up, a strong woman and a survivor.
However, it was also a platform where Donovan would be asked to confront her least favourite topic: weight and body image.
“I was at the heaviest point in my life and I just needed a change,” she says.
“I thought I’d be there for a week. But that didn’t happen, and I’m grateful to the people who supported my career, and had faith and belief in me, to be able to do amazing things in life.
“Australia saw me as an almost-30 year old … with no smoke and mirrors.”
Donovan lost weight while in the jungle, but adds: “I’m a stubborn Taurean and I can’t do rice or beans. I was eating one vegetable a day.
“When we did a ‘Weight Challenge’ on the show, I was really annoyed because it’s like, ‘My weight is not your business.’ I’ve struggled with it for many, many, years.
“I was feeling healthy, and feeling great. I was walking and swimming every day.
“Was it sustainable once I came out? No, because nothing was controlled anymore. But it inspired me to get my health back on the road.”
In 2019, guesting on SBS-TV’s ancestry show Who Do You Think You Are, Donovan delved into her Indigenous heritage. Her mob are the Gumbaynggirr and Dunghutti people from the mid-north coast of NSW.
“For most of my childhood and adult life, I felt like I didn’t belong,” she says. “It took me 30-odd years to find the place that I can call my home. I’m damn proud to call myself a Gumbaynggirr and Dunghutti woman.”
Casey Donovan also stands with confidence and strength, alongside her co-stars Marina Prior, Erin Clare, and Caroline O’Connor, in 9 To 5.
Her character Judy Bernly seeks solidarity and finds courage in a collective of women who rise up to confront their societal oppressors: men.
“I found my strength and confidence through my mother, and watching her go through life,” Donovan says.
“Her famous quote is, ‘Every dog has their day.’ She has picked herself up and rebuilt many, many times. Watching her come from this place of strength, it’s a beautiful thing.
“I’ve stumbled, and fallen and tripped. I’ve had to rebuild my life on many different occasions. I’ve taught myself how to stand up, and just breathe.”
Donovan says she’s felt like Judy Bernly many times.
“There have been moments where I’ve had self doubts, and felt the impostor syndrome that comes with this job, like ‘Can I do this?’” she says.
“I know I’m capable and well equipped to do it. But there are many times in life when you feel vulnerable and just want to burst into tears.
“But you can’t. You’ve got to keep going, and that’s the story of 9 To 5.”
She says the true joy of the musical is taking a bow at the end of the show beside her female co-leads “knowing that things and conversations are being put in place so that women can go further in life”.
Strong Casey Donovan says the reticent Judy Bernly complements her perfectly.
“I think we’re good for each other,” Donovan says. “Some days, I let Judy take the wheel, because she’s a beautiful, fun-loving, happy-go-lucky character.
“And whenever I’m feeling stressed, I’ll look at Judy and be like, ‘OK, we’ve overcome some s---. But we’re gonna push through it, go out there, sing our song and just get it done.’”
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