‘Emotionally, physically, financially taxing’: Erin Holland and Ben Cutting’s IVF battle

Ben Cutting and Erin Holland are facing a battle they admit is “emotionally, physically and financially taxing”.

This week’s Couple Goals features cricketer and real estate developer Ben Cutting, 38, and sports and TV presenter and singer Erin Holland, 36, who have been together for 10 years, married for four.

Erin asks:

How did we meet?

Ben: I think you double tapped on me (liking a photo on Instagram). Phil Hughes passed away back in the day which was a very, very sad moment. There was a motion on social media where we were putting out our bats to remember Phil. I played a lot with Phil so I took a photo of me putting my bat out for him outside my front door. And this one (Erin), did the double tap. And from there, I can’t remember who slid into whose DMs first. But hey, we’re sitting here now.

Erin: I liked his photo. It was a beautiful tribute. And I have it on good authority from great friends of (Phil’s) that he would’ve loved the fact that he was the only reason why you and I ever met. But you slid into my DMs!

When was the moment you knew you were falling in love?

B: It was pretty early. I’m not ashamed to say that. It was probably first couple of months, I reckon.

E: More like three weeks?

B: OK yes, three weeks. I can’t remember. I’ve had too many concussions.

The couple have been together for a decade. Picture: Liam Kidston

What has been our biggest challenge as a couple?

B: Probably the distance. Your work is predominantly out of Sydney, mine’s

predominantly out of Brisbane. That’s been a big challenge and then probably the next challenge of starting a family and trying to have kids and the IVF journey and all that, that’s always difficult but, you know, we’re handling it as best we can.

E: The long distance is not fun, I think last year I did 133 flights and a lot of those were work as well, but a lot of those were getting on a plane to come and see you in Brisbane from Sydney.

What do we argue about the most?

B: Oh man, where do I start? You leave your shit everywhere. We’ve got an apartment in Sydney, that’s more of a storage cage for your stuff and then when you come to Brisbane, it’s Erin’s hotel. I’ll do the cooking, I’ll do the washing, I’ll do the cleaning.

E: To be fair, I’m the one that lives in two cities. It’s hard, I don’t know where things are. We’ve just moved house as well so, still finding places for things to go. Plus you’re the most insane clean freak I’ve ever come across in my life.

Erin Holland has been open about the couple’s IVF journey and struggles with fertility.

What’s the most romantic thing I’ve done for you?

B: Getting on a plane every week to come and see me for 10 years. And for my birthday this year when you baked me a little cake. We have a thing every year where you make something out of a Women’s Weekly cookbook from 1956 and I choose the most childish cake that I can find in there and you put it together.

Who’s more competitive?

B: Definitely you are. It takes me a lot to get competitive. I’ve got to get on the field to get a bit of white line fever but at home, I could not care less. It’s definitely you, it doesn’t matter whether it’s Uno, tennis, kicking a ball or diving in the pool.

What has been our best date?

B: Probably more of a holiday than a date. It was a week-long date when we went up to north of Airlie Beach.

E: There’s only been three holidays ever, so it was pretty easy to choose from. Quite literally, with our schedules there’s been that holiday, there’s been the one where we got engaged, which was at Palm Beach on the Gold Coast, and our honeymoon, which happened a year and a half after the wedding, because when we got married, you left two days later to go and play cricket for four and a half months overseas, and it was covid, so you couldn’t come home in between, so … slim pickings.

The couple rarely get a chance to holiday together. Picture: Instagram / Erin Holland

What’s my guilty pleasure?

B: It doesn’t matter how, whether it’s 35C outside or it’s 15C outside, you will always have two hot heat packs put in the microwave every night and a bit of chocolate. You will wind them up in the microwave so high, you’ll burn holes in them.

E: I’m from Cairns, I’m always cold and you are always hot so the house is always 19C all year round. So, we’re sleeping in aircon all year round. It’s just ridiculous.

What’s one of the toughest things we’ve been through?

B: In 18 months, I had two spinal surgeries. For the majority of that, I probably did the hospital and recovery on my own.

I had my first spinal surgery where I basically lost complete control of my right foot, it’s called drop foot, when I was in Canada probably six months prior. I worked my ass off to try and get back for the Big Bash leading into the summer. I went and played overseas in Bangladesh. I played three games over there and then destroyed the disc that I had operated on to the point where I had to get the wheelchair from Bangladesh back to Australia because I had extreme nerve pain on my left leg. I couldn’t stand up straight. So I had probably a month to wait for the surgeon in Australia.

E: You came off the plane on a wheelchair. I bawled my eyes out.

What do you hope life looks like for us post-cricket?

B: We’re almost at post-cricket now. Hopefully start a family sometime in the near future. Slow down our lives a little bit and just enjoy life a little bit more. We’ve worked hard for 10 or 15 years, 20 years playing cricket. So it’s time to enjoy what we’ve put together and enjoy that as a family hopefully.

Ben Cutting bats for Thunder during the Men's Big Bash League in 2021. Picture: Jason McCawley/Getty Images

Ben asks:

Who made the first move?

E:It was absolutely you and the chat was so bad. I wasn’t even aware that you were actually asking me out. I thought you were literally just asking for restaurant recommendations for you and the team.

What was it about me that drew you in?

E: It wasn’t your chat, that’s for sure. We just got along like a house on fire and I think given so much of our relationship is long distance, communication is really important. It felt very secure, very easy, and conversation flowed really easily. Now it’s like drawing blood out of stone trying to get you to talk to me but I just think it felt really easy and really natural.

When were you most vulnerable in our relationship?

E: The IVF process is ongoing. It can be really difficult doing the kinds of jobs that we do as well and our doctor is in Brisbane. It’s a lot of flying for me among other appointments as well. It’s incredibly emotionally and physically taxing. I guess we just hope it ends at some point. It’s been a three-year journey now. There’s been failures, losses, cancelled cycles. I kind of lose the words after a while as well when I talk about it. It’s incredibly emotionally, physically, financially taxing. We hope it ends sometime soon.

Erin Holland in Pakistan for the IPL.

How do we stay connected while we’re away?

E: I think that’s the one good thing about social media is the fact that you can FaceTime, call, text, WhatsApp, whatever it is, there’s always a way to stay connected. To this day, it’s been 10 years now, there’s not been a morning I’ve woken up and there’s not been a “Good morning” message or a night time where there hasn’t been a “Good night” one. If there ever is, I think I’d be sending out the dogs to come and find you. That’s been an unspoken mandatory in our relationship.

What’s my hidden talent?

E: Your talents are all pretty well-documented. Cricket? Um … a very good cook? The man has a career as a professional barbecuer and maybe a cleaner. I think you’re incredibly domestic. Oh and also lawn porn. We have Allan Border Field turf at our house because during covid, when we did a renovation, the first thing we did was to go and take those bits of lawn, and you rolled it out, and then you bought a specific cylindrical lawnmower and all the things to make the lawn perfect, and you have a lot of pride in being the best lawn curator in the street.

Originally published as ‘Emotionally, physically, financially taxing’: Erin Holland and Ben Cutting’s IVF battle