Love letters: Mothers write from the heart to their kids
There’s nothing like mother wisdom to see you through the journey ahead. Four mums share heartfelt letters to their children with their best advice for the future.
Lifestyle
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Jess Skarratt
Gold Coast television identity Jess Skarratt is mum to Halliday, 2, and, at the time of print, another due any day.
She juggles motherhood with her presenting and producing roles on Channel 7’s The Great Day Out and, after seven years as Game Day host for the Gold Coast Suns, is now an official club ambassador.
To my babies (yes, you will always be my little chickens, no matter what age),
Before you fly the coop and leave my tutelage, here are some thoughts I’d like to share with you, my precious ones.
Firstly, I hope I’ve been a wonderful role model and have raised you to embrace those positive values that become the “stars” by which you steer through life.
Having said that, I also hope that I’ve encouraged you to think for yourselves; to let your own individuality shine; and given you the space for your belief systems to blossom organically.
On that subject of being true to yourself, let’s talk about social media.
Firstly, please know that your self-worth isn’t defined by how many “followers” you have or “likes” you receive. I hope I’ve brought you up to have the confidence not to compare yourselves to others or feel pressured to look and act in a certain way, simply to meet society’s unrealistic expectations.
And while positive body image and self-love are critical to happiness, let’s be clear: body image isn’t about what we look like. It’s about how we feel about what we look like and who we are. Everyone has different perceptions of beauty, which means it can be defined in so many ways. The most important view of your beauty and self worth will always be your own.
For me, beauty and identity don’t reside in physical appearance. True beauty is your capacity for happiness, confidence, passion, vulnerability, kindness, compassion and unconditional love. On your respective journeys of self-discovery and growth, I hope both of you come to realise the beautiful characteristics you embody that make you proud of yourselves; that make your hearts sing.
Remember too that connectivity doesn’t necessarily means connection.
Don’t get me wrong, social media can be a positive tool in helping people feel less isolated and “heard”.
A MOTHER’S DAY WITHOUT A MOTHER
But I encourage you to find your tribe in the real world, to become involved in your community beyond the digital space. Nothing beats genuine, face-to-face connection with another human being. Smart devices will never bring you that very human moment of being in the physical presence of others. We are wired to connect on a much deeper level than “likes” or emojis.
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And that applies to the world around us too. Remember to put your devices down from time to time, to have a digital detox and be really present in the world, in nature. Live in the “now” and experience life and this beautiful blue planet we live on through your own eyes, not through the lens of a smartphone.
If social media is still around by the time you’re reading this (and I guess it will be), my sincere hope is that better rules and regulations will have made it a much safer and more positive realm in which to engage. Regardless, I hope — as young adults — you’ll be armed with the emotional intelligence to realise that social media is just one small thread in the rich fabric of your lives.
Finally, my children, let me tell you that being your Mum is the greatest privilege of my own life. Please know that no matter your age or the stage of life you’re in, I’m always here to nurture you and help you navigate through it all.
Love, Mum
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Jessica Rowe
Former television personality Jessica Rowe is mum to two girls, Allegra, 12, and Giselle, 9.
In March, Jessica announced on Studio 10 she was leaving her 23 year television career to concentrate on being a more present mum.
She has just released a book Diary of a Crap Housewife.
My darling girls, you are the greatest loves of my life and my greatest joy. A strong, silver, glittery thread from my heart to yours will forever connect us. And as I lengthen that never ending thread as you take your own steps into the wild world, hold these thoughts close to your heart.
* You are brave, beautiful, smart and strong — never let anyone tell you otherwise.
* Cats are the best companions.
* What’s in your heart matters most, not the label of the clothes on your back.
* Dressing up in costumes is hilarious no matter what age you are!
* Don’t wear heavy foundation. It makes you look older.
* The Kardashians are not cool.
* Mummy isn’t cool either but I’m much cooler than the Kardashians.
* I do understand …
* The marks you get at school are not the measure of who you are as a person.
* Life really starts after school finishes.
* Never, ever stop learning. No one has all the answers and life would be terribly boring if we knew everything.
MOTHER OF ALL MOTHER’S DAY PRESENTS
* Be kind.
* Always stand up when you see someone being treated badly.
* Friends are people who make you feel good about yourself.
* Walk away from the mean girls and boys; don’t let them take you peace, it’s not worth it.
* You will find your tribe, the people who understand you best. These souls are your friends.
* Never stop asking questions, there is no such thing as a silly question.
* Travel the world.
* Laugh loudly and sneeze loudly too (just like me)
* Unlike me, don’t think you always have to be brave for everyone else.
* Ask for help — it’s the most courageous thing you ever do.
* Don’t waste your time ironing — shaking your clothes when they come off the line or out of the dryer is enough to get the wrinkles out.
* If you do decide to erase your wrinkles when you’re older, talk to me first about where to go.
IS THIS THE WORLD’S FIERCEST MOTHER?
* Don’t get a tattoo, but dye your hair the colours of the rainbow.
* Be careful who you give your heart to, as you will have your heart broken.
* And be careful with other people’s hearts too.
* May you find a partner in life who loves and embraces all of your quirks and wondrous ways.
* Leopard print is always a classic.
* Glitter, glitter and more glitter.
* Live a big, bold life. You’ll make messy mistakes but remember that I’m always, always here. And I’ll never, ever stop loving you.
Love Mummy.
Constance Hall
Mother of five and two step children, Constance Hall’s warts and all blogging on motherhood earned her an international following.
As well having more than 1.3 million Facebook fans, she is the author of two books, a philanthropist, fashion designer and, most recently, finished third on television’s Dancing with the Stars.
To my dearest children …
If you are reading this, I have probably gone. Ran away to Bali for some spiritual identity crisis and a mango daiquiri like we always knew I eventually would.
Some days were hard and some were harder, but guiding your shiny souls was always a walk in the park.
I overbreed … I knew this when I fell pregnant with the twins, spread too thinly, left too much of a carbon footprint. Gourmet restaurants became barbecues on the beach. Trip to Europe turned into camping in the bush. Lunch orders became Vegemite sandwiches.
Chuck a couple of stepkids in the mix, another baby and basically any stray that needed a couch to sleep on, your childhood looked more like a hippy commune than the 2.5 kids, white picket fence conventional life that I know you sometimes craved.
And you flourished, learning to connect with people, like the step parents who aren’t here because they have to love you but because they choose to love you.
MY MOTHER, THE FORCE TO BE RECKONED WITH
You made up for it all. What you missed out on with me, you made up for with each other.
Some nights I could hear Arlo doing his school reading to Zeyke, and Billie explaining the world to Snow as I washed the never ending, revolving dishes and I couldn’t help but smile. This quirky and colourful family beams love.
Love comes in endless forms. One day you may love the same sex; one of you might love for a lifetime and some of you may love for one night, over and over again. The most important aspect of love is jumping in, stripping off your clothes, blocking your nose and belly flopping into the deep end head first.
Because the worst thing that can happen is that you don’t really want to swim anymore; the best thing that can happen is that your heart gets crushed into a thousand tiny pieces, leaving you crying all night, unable to eat without your love … That, my child, is how you know you’re alive. That is how you learn to love.
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I’m not going to bore you with “follow your dreams” stuff. My daiquiri will melt and we will all fall asleep.
You don’t have to worry about your dreams. They will follow you, they won’t let you sleep, they won’t let you rest, they tap you on the shoulder and whisper to you at night. If you want peace, you will do as they say.
And stop saving for that stupid mortgage. You are better than that system and you know it.
The ocean, the desert or the rainforest will heal your head when you need it.
YOU were put on this earth for one reason, to save it. Kindness, lend your ear to the paths you cross, combat loneliness with hugs and kisses, always drink tea with your friends and never forget that radical empathy will save the world. When nobody else can find empathy, you look deeper.
Everyone is born with a piece of the pie. You are privileged so finding yours won’t be hard … Now help the less privileged find theirs.
And, finally, cry, laugh, scream, say sorry, say I love you, tell them to f*** off. Just live this life hard and love this earth harder. And come get your mumma …. a lychee martini and a thousand Balinese sunsets don’t come close to the feelings I get when I look into your eyes.
Mum
MOTHER’S DAY CLASSIC RUNS UP MONEY FOR CHARITY
Katrina Springer
Gold Coast mum of three Katrina Springer is the founder of blog and successful online business The Organised Housewife.
She made her first post nine years ago, sharing advice on how she managed to get on top of things after she found herself struggling on the home front with young twins.
She is mum to three teenagers aged 16, 16 and 14.
To my children 10 years from now,
I’m writing this letter to explain myself, to explain why I was the mother I was.
You see, right now you’re all teenagers, and you think I’m a bit of a pain. When you read this letter though, you’ll be young adults and I’m hoping that’s when it’ll all click into place.
I’m hoping that the three sets of eyes on this letter will be those of well-rounded, independent young adults who are respectful, self-sufficient, and know how much they were and still are loved.
I’m hoping you’ll think back on all the memories we had around the dinner table. The meals shared, laughter had and the board games we bonded over. Since you were all able to sit in a highchair, the dining table really was the heart of our home and I’m hoping you’ll still love coming home regularly for my home cooked meals and baking.
I’m hoping you’ll understand why I taught you to text like your Grandma was looking over your shoulder. Why you woke to a morning routine that included preparing your own lunch and unpacking the dishwasher. Why you didn’t get tuckshop at school, and why you returned home to a list of chores and a homework routine. I’m hoping you’ll understand why I asked you to help me wash your clothes and clean the house, and I’m hoping you’ll know how grateful I was for all you did.
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I’m hoping as young adults you’ll realise how tough motherhood can be. That so many times I worried I was doing it wrong. That maybe I was too controlling, or that I really was the only mum who had a problem with you on your phone all the time (which despite your certainty in the matter, I’m pretty sure I wasn’t!).
I’m hoping you’ll see how your help allowed me to be the mum to you that I was. That your help allowed me the time to sit with you and talk, to build a career, and to bring in an income, but most of all, I’m hoping you’ll see how it allowed you to grow into admirable, self-assured and confident people.
I’m hoping when you read this, you’ll be young adults who’ve explored the world, who’ve developed the skills to look after yourselves, and who hold the knowledge that gender does not define what we can do or who should do it.
I’m also hoping you’ll be about to get in the car with your loved ones, ready to head back home and gather once again around the family dinner table, to enjoy some home cooking, laughter and perhaps even a board game or two!
Love you to the moon and back, always, Mumma.
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