Coroner finds Ruth Mataafa’s death was ‘domestic violence at its worst’

A coroner has labelled a young Sydney woman’s tragic death ‘domestic violence at its worst’, after she was repeatedly stabbed by a violent ex-boyfriend.

Savagely killed by her jealous ex after weeks of stalking and threats, Ruth Mataafa was victim of “domestic violence at its worst”.

Declaring that her story needed to be shared, Deputy State Coroner Erin Kennedy called for coercive control, emotional manipulation and ongoing violence to be “discussed more openly in our community” as she wound up her findings into Ms Mataafa’s tragic death.

The young woman’s ex, who cannot be named for legal reasons, stabbed her a dozen times in front of his family before turning the knife on himself in May 2020.

While Ms Mataafa’s death was a case of horrific violence, Ms Kennedy said such instances needed to be called out so people knew it would not be tolerated, and to educate potential victims of the warning signs.

“This type of coercive control, emotional manipulation and ongoing violence should be discussed more openly in our community,” she said. “They should not be accepted, and they should be identified so persons who experience them can see them for what they truly are, warning signs.”

Ruth Mataafa, killed at just 22, is remembered by friends as being ‘humble and kind’. Picture: Facebook

A report was prepared by the Domestic Violence Death Review Team (DVDRT) into Ms Mataafa’s death, which found that the man’s behaviour was in fact “acts of coercive control”, a finding magistrate Kennedy adopted.

Coercive control is a significant “red flag” for intimate partner homicide, and a report by the DVDRT said that it factored in 99 per cent of domestic violence homicides.

The killer, who cannot be identified for legal reasons.

Ms Mataafa was “humble and kind”, according to her friends, a young woman who was “always happier” when she was away from her controlling ex-boyfriend.

“She would tell you right from wrong but never judge you. She was very generous and always happy to help out or lend an ear,” her friend said.

In the lead-up to the tragedy on May 30, 2020, text messages showed the man was possessive of Ms Mataafa, the court heard.

The heart-wrenching timeline of Ms Mataafa’s final month was recounted at the inquest, showing she was fearful of the man whose threats had escalated to violent levels.

On April 29, she told her loved ones the man would not leave her alone.

The following day, the man threatened to kill himself if she did not meet him.

On May 2, Ms Mataafa reported becoming scared of the man.

Two days later he filmed a haunting video on his iPhone, crying as he held a knife to the camera. “This is the end … Goodbye everyone” the caption read.

A police download of his phone showed that on May 27, the man began writing a suicide note on his phone, where his possessive and jealous nature toward his former partner were detailed.

“I’m sorry everyone for what I did aye, I just didn’t want anyone to have Ruth aye. Ruth is just too selfish to know that I’m the right one. I’m sorry aye, I just can’t bear to see Ruth with another guy even if he is ugly aye,” he wrote.

On May 30, the man showed up at Ms Mataafa’s home and stole her phone, ultimately persuading her to come to his home, where his family was.

The man stabbed her several times in his bedroom, killing her and later turning the knife on himself even as a family member tired to stop his attack, in what was described by Magistrate Kennedy as a “remarkable act of bravery”.

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