Single in Sydney: Sarah Swain deletes Tinder and holds on to see if the world ends
SINGLE in Sydney: This week Sarah Swain tells Tinder to go stuff itself for good — too many tigers for her liking. But she hasn’t given up hope of app-aided love.
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JOURNALIST Sarah Swain has been single for longer than she cares to remember. So to bring hope to others she’s sharing her no-holds-barred adventures every week.
TINDER IS OVER
THE FLAME’S been going out for a while now.
And I’d finally like to call it — Tinder is over.
You see, over Christmas, I deleted all my dating apps (again).
And as my mum prepares to depart after a two-month stay which put me on a dating hiatus (no bad thing), I’m getting ready to delve back in again.
I’ve reinstalled Bumble — some friends have had some success on that (well, one just got dumped but the other is happily coupled up) and I’m going to give Happn another go (even though nothing much has ever happened there).
OKCupid is worth the occasional check also, even though most of the decent blokes seem to live in Melbourne.
But I’m finally swiping left on Tinder.
At first, I loved it.
I mean, you used to be able to mostly avoid the selfie-in-the-mirror misfits who live with their mum and post photos of their motorbike, not to mention tigers in Thailand.
But now, they’ve all but taken over.
I’ve been on heaps of Tinder dates, as you know.
But recently, it seems I’d be more likely to become the next NSW premier then manage to get somebody to meet me in real life from the app.
My matches either just want to chat, chat, chat about dull things and then disappear, or actually haven’t checked their messages since 2013.
Forget that doctor in Queensland who this week said he was seeing people with STIs who had slept with as many as ten people IN ONE DAY — he reckons thanks to dating apps like Tinder.
It can’t be true!
Remember that i nfamous Tinder and the Dawn of the Dating Apocalypse article which came out in 2015? I reckon that apocalypse has now happened.
And the dating guru, Andrew Mashiko from Core Magnetism agrees things are changing, too.
He reckons folk are coming round to the idea that they actually need to communicate in real life, too.
Funny that.
“The problem is that people aren’t taught how to socialise properly,” he said.
“Aussies are the worst in the world at making conversation with strangers.
“The beauty of dating apps allows you to break the ice without creating some kind of pretence.”
But he reckons stuff like the roaming dinner parties, and Meet Ups will become more popular- as will the hiring of dating coach-types like him.
“You can meet a million people but unless you can make a connection you’re doomed to failure,” he said.
He also says apps like Tinder will begin to morph into something different, too.
So, for old times sake, I’d like to share my last ever Tinder message, which came from some dude I matched in December.
“I haven’t had sex for over a year. Since my ex ripped my heart out. I met a Japanese girl at my work. 2 weeks after a 4 year relationship she was made an Australian citizen! I came home from work and she packed a suitcase and left. Never heard from her again. So no sex at this stage.” (sic).
I think I’m doing the right thing.
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