Sarah gets the bad news, her friend has a boyfriend, and worse news, another is getting married

THIS week Sarah tells you how to cope when your mates betray you and get boyfriends — or worse, they stab you deep in the heart and get a husband.

Yes, that is a smile. Just. Well, a forced once. Damn you single life. Damn you partnered up friends. Pass me some alcohol. Picture: Annika Enderborg

• A case of speed dating mistaken identity
• Love is in the air (tasker)

JOURNALIST Sarah Swain has been single (but dating) for longer than she cares to remember. That’s because it’s tough out there, as any single will tell you.

So to bring hope to others across the city, she’s sharing her no-holds-barred adventures on the Sydney single scene every week.

Am I the last single girl, like Carrie Bradshaw (Sarah Jessica Parker) from Sex and the City? Probably. And Sarah certainly has a similar amount of clothes. But not as much frizz.

AM I THE LAST SINGLE GIRL?

I’ve got one of those feelings in the pit of my stomach

And it’s nothing to do with the flu bug which has saw me laid up last week with only Prince Harry (the cat) and the whole series of This is Us for company (brilliant).

You see I’ve had some news over the past couple of days.

Wonderful news.

It really was wonderfully, wonderful news.

For other people that is.

First, when I messaged my also long time single mate on Facebook, asking what happened about the third date she was considering whether to go on with an online man, she revealed: “I actually am going out with someone.”

My heart sank.

This week I met Sam, Cam, and Courtney from The Bachelorette at A Moveable Feast. They’re all single, and even though two out of three have girl’s names, you have to fight off a flock of women first to get to them.

“We had a coffee two years ago but the timing wasn’t right. Anyway, we went out and it is perfect.”

And she must has sensed that I was plunged into a downer as the three little dots stayed for a while before she messaged: “I know it’s hard when hear that a friend has started going out with someone. I don’t want to make you sad. It’s hopeful as there are guys out there, and this guy was right in front of me for two years. I really want you to be happy too Sarah.”

Sarah took the news that her friend has a boyfriend, really well. Here is a re-enactment we prepared earlier. Picture: iStock

Well, her lovely thoughts made me even sadder.

But I’d just about got over it though, when two days later, one of my closest friends back home messaged while I was in the middle of news conference at work, to tell me she was “getting married.”

As a single, being told your friend is getting married is quite a level of intensity above hearing your friend has a boyfriend. Instant foetal position.

She’d got engaged a year to the day after meeting her man (on Tinder).

He popped the question in a yurt. But you can’t have everything.

Is getting married really worth it is you get proposed to in a yurt? Feels like foetal position coming on again. Picture: Thinkstock

Then, the next day, I asked my mate who met a guy at an event she came to me with — one day after ending it with her on/off man — how they were going.

“I like him so much!” she said.

And I felt a little bit like the walls were closing in on me.

And I’m happy for them. I am.

I’m just sad for me.

Where is flat cap guy the psychic told me I would meet?

Married at First Sight’s Cheryl. Fellow singleton.

As Carrie Bradshaw’s Vogue cover once proclaimed — before she married Big — Am I the Last Single Girl (minus the Manolos — they don’t go up to my size)?

I mean, I swipe, I agree to dates, I go out, I try and stay positive, I meet new people, I volunteer — I even sometimes approach blokes ... but nothing.

Most of the online men don’t return messages (I don’t think they’re actually checking them) and last week I was cancelled on for dates — twice.

I feel more tragic than Cheryl on Married at First Sight.

While my upbeat pal, Dan said all my friends’ examples shows that it CAN happen, I asked my old friends, dating experts Andrew Mashiko, for help in coping.

Journalist Sarah Swain. She feels pretty tragic but she needn’t, she has a very lovely frock on.

Andrew Mashiko of Core Magnetism. It’s all about the goatee. Picture: Supplied.

Mashiko had lots to say — including reminding me he almost turned to suicide after living a life just to impress those around him.

He reminded me not to compare myself to others and told me to get clear on what I want and need in a man.

As well as telling me to keep a gratitude journal — generally you list three things you’re grateful for every day — he also reminded me it’s not all sunshine and Instagram shots.

“Just remember, what may make others happy has no bearing on what will make you happy, and is certainly not reflective of your failure, and that at the end of the day, chances are, they’re not even as happy as you might be imagining.” he said.

“The truth is, more than 85 per cent of relationships are destined to fail, and a great percentage of the rest are probably not all that happy.”

He reminded me there’s nothing attractive about desperate.

PENGUIN POPULATIONS EXCEED EXPECTATIONS

“The more you have got going on in your life, the less you’ll feel that lonely, desperate need for a relationship, and not only will it help prevent you from making poor decisions about who you have a relationship with, it will also help make you a more attractive and compelling.”