Single in Sydney: Sarah learns three rules for getting a man

THIS week Sarah talks to a dating coach who once had a realisation she was “shit at relationships”. But despite her advice, Sarah is refusing to give up the chocolates for a man.

Sarah Swain wants a bloody cracker, not the usual slackers she gets. Picture: Braden Fastier

JOURNALIST Sarah Swain has been single for longer than she cares to remember. So to bring hope to others she’s sharing her no-holds-barred adventures every week.

FESTIVE LOVE

I WANTED to call this column ‘How to pull a cracker this Christmas’ but then I realised you don’t call them crackers in Australia, but bonbons, and that’s not as catchy.

Anyway, after detailing last week’s Christmas party (and that bloke who wanted to be in the column hasn’t even contacted me — loser) I came across a new dating coach on Facebook.

Emily Chadbourne, 35, runs a website called That Crazy Thing Called Love.

Emily Chadbourne, 35, runs a website called That Crazy Thing Called Love. She is able to make money for other’s misery. Picture: Ryan McCurdy

She said she did a lot of research after realising she was “shit at relationships.” And this included getting a life coach.

Now she’s helping other woman with her blogs, events and even private sessions costing up to $3500 for six months.

And she offered me some tips to share with you to improve your chances of finding a man in your stocking.

NOBODY PUTS BABY IN THE CORNER. SO GET OUT OF IT

Intimidating knitting women all wearing resting bitch face. Picture: CSN

“Standing in the corner of the bar flanked by an army of girlfriends who are all wearing shades of resting bitch face is not playing it cool. It’s playing hard to get,” Chadbourne said.

“You can’t expect the cute guy at the bar to wade through your wall of girlfriends who are circling you like an armed guard, so he can ask you, a total stranger, for your number.”

Chat to a guy and it doesn’t go well? Laugh it off, Chadbourne said.

“I say stupid shit to guys I really fancy all the time.” she admitted, “I once dated a guy for a bit who said the moment he decided he really fancied me was when I sat down where there wasn’t a chair.”

BECOME A YES WOMAN

We are not sure if she means a ‘yes’ woman in the same way Meg Ryan was a yes woman in When Harry Met Sally. But it is probably the ultimate aim.

“When the one and only guy you’ve met in the last month doesn’t want to see you again, it’s depressing,” said Chadbourne. Something we both agree on.

“But if your social calendar is full, and you’re catching up with old friends, making new friends, going for coffee with a guy you met at the new gallery opening you didn’t really want to go to, the Tinder idiot who didn’t call suddenly doesn’t matter as much.”

Another thing to think about, according in Chadbourne, is how meeting just one new person could have a big impact — they could be mates with your future husband.

DITCH THE LOLLIES

Perhaps Cadbury’s founder John Cadbury could have been Sarah’s ideal man if he hadn’t died in 1889.

My mum’s over from the UK, and brought a suitcase of proper dairy milk chocolate. Galaxy, Quality Street, Wispa Golds and Celebrations.

Not only that, we’ve opened a bottle of Oyster Bay every night.

And I’m not going to call time on my binge (after Christmas, let’s be realistic) for a man. I’m going to do it for me.

Chadbourne’s been there too.

“Most awesome people want to be around other people who make them feel good. And to make someone feel good, we need to feel good about ourselves first,” Chabourne said.

“A balanced, healthy lifestyle breeds happiness and that is one of the most attractive things to any high quality guy.”

For more information visit the That Crazy Thing Called Love website.

The word cracker can be confusing because it means different things. The word clacker only means one thing.