Turning up our noses at those who don’t live on the sunny side of the highway or, conversely, throwing scorn on the beach bums whose cars perpetually smell like wet towel is all part of the magic of living on the Glitter Strip. But alliances run so much deeper than just east versus west.

Once you’ve found your tribe, venturing outside those invisible boundaries too often will leave you scurrying back to the relative safety of your favourite barista quicker than you can say, “technically I live in Chirn Park”.

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At the risk of starting a citywide slanging match, we’ve attempted to capture what it means to live in the distinctly different parts of our incredible city.

While we may squabble about the merits of cruisy Coolangatta compared to bustling Broadbeach there’s one thing we can all agree on. Thank goodness we don’t have to live in bloody Brisbane.

THE HIPSTERS

Natural habitat: Nobby Beach, Burleigh and Palm Beach

The first rule of being a hipster: don’t admit to being a hipster. But if the tattoo sleeve fits …

You won’t see a more magnificent beard anywhere on the Gold Coast and they’ve got acai bowls worth riding miles on a vintage bicycle.

The rest of us pretend to scoff, but come the weekend we somehow all find ourselves Burleigh bound with a thirst for a locally brewed boutique beer to nurse at Black Hops or Burleigh Brewing.

BATTLE FOR BURLEIGH: THE PARKING CONUNDRUM CRIPPLING SUBURB

If you’re rolling in 4220, your best mate is probably a staffy (standard in the Burleigh starter pack) and second set of wheels a skateboard.

Despite their preference for retro fashion/surfboards/barbershps, one thing Hipster Haven residents are right up to date with is technology.

If you didn’t post a photo of the view from your morning trot up Burleigh Hill with a Nook coffee did you even really go at all?

THE SOPO SQUAD

Natural habitat: Southport

From the elite who go to The Southport School or those down on their luck who line up for a hot meal from Rosies, Southport’s diversity defies stereotyping as surely as the ibis rule the roost outside the local courthouse.

Over the years locals have been labelled in a manner that, let’s face us, is not flattering nor is it kind. As in, when someone at a house party says “Who’s bringing the ice?” it could go either way.

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But anyone who lives in Southport knows it’s a warm and friendly place with endless nooks and crannies hiding away retail gems, authentic food, karaoke bars, street art and more.

When you live, work and educate your kids in our CBD, you’ll be the one with the best spot at the Southport Bowls Club for after-work drinks or the prime bench to watch the little ones play in the parklands.

THE SILVER STRIP

Natural habitat: Labrador, Biggera Waters, Runaway Bay and Paradise Point

When you’ve spent your life on the hustle, you’ve earned a break away from the bustle.

This northern Gold Coast enclave may be a haven for families, but it’s the vintage set who reign supreme.

Flamingo statues decorate front yards non-ironically and you’re more likely to get taken out by a wayward wheely walker than a skateboard up this end of the Broadwater.

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Given the somewhat controversial inclusion of Labrador in this section, it should be made clear early on that residents from neighbouring Biggera Waters never visit their grungy southern cousin.

Except, of course, to bask in the glory of Ian Dipple lagoon while watching the spectacle of a daily pelican feeding at Charis Seafoods. And, you know, since they’re already there they may as well partake in a beverage or two while taking in waterfront views at The Grand Hotel.

THE RICH LISTERS

Natural habitat: Sovereign Island, Sanctuary Cove and Mermaid Beach

Look, we can’t promise you’ll encounter Clive Palmer being spoonfed caviar as he’s ferried around Sanctuary Cove on a gold-plated golf buggy but we’re not willing to rule it out entirely.

And you never know who you’ll bump into pounding the pavement along Hedges and Albatross, or waiting for your green smoothie at BSKT.

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These coveted neighbourhoods aren’t so much united by geography as they are by a love of luxury resortwear, the vibrant colours of which are only outshone by the characters who wear them.

Residents of Hedges Avenue have included long-time tourism figure Terry Jackman, real estate leaders Luke and Andrew Henderson and TV personality Natalie Gruzlewski … not to mention it was Chris Hemsworth’s ’hood while he was in town filming.

THE CRUISERS

Natural habitat: Coolangatta, Kirra, Tugun, Currumbin, Bilinga

Muriel never wanted to move home to Porpoise Spit, but that’s just fine by the residents of Coolangatta who give the finger (or is that the shaka?) to haters of their laid-back vibes.

It’s not just devotees of Toni Collette’s Muriel’s Wedding who make the pilgrimage to the location of the cult film.

Also stepping back in time are attendees of Cooly Rocks On who flaunt their best retro looks in a land where not much changes in the very best way … especially the scones at Mervyn Roys.

HOUSE TO BE REPLACED BY GIANT TOWER AT KIRRA BEACH

Cooly kid Mick Fanning has loved the southern Gold Coast ever since he was a wet-behind-the-ears grom. When he’s not busy punching sharks and flogging beer, Fanning supports local tourism. “The southern Gold Coast is a lot different to the northern part,” he says.

“The northern part is a lot more glitz and glamour. Down here it’s a little bit more relaxed. There’s a little bit more space.”

Fanning’s not wrong. Unlike at Burleigh where you have to park diagonally across a gutter four blocks from the beach before settling down to enjoy your now melted acai bowl on the hill, we promise you’ll be able to save your energy for a pre-lunch swim after scoring a much better spot near Kirra Surf Life Saving Club.

While surf culture is as enmeshed in the south as salt to sea, don’t sweat if you’re no Stephanie Gilmore. That old-fashioned southern hospitality means as long as you follow surf etiquette and avoid the busiest breaks, no one will laugh (to your face) when you bring out your foam board in the whitewash.

THE BURBS

Natural habitat: Helensvale, Oxenford, Coomera, Upper Coomera, Pacific Pines

The group sits in a circle chanting rhythmically while banging sticks together.

No it’s not a new age cult, it’s a gymbaroo session at Helensvale Community Centre.

Life in The Burbs revolves around families with four and five bedroom homes and storage space those beachside could only dream about.

You know what it’s like when it’s too hot even for the beach and your only option to stop the kids melting is to pour yourselves in the car and slog your way down the Gold Coast Highway towards Wet’n’Wild?

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The residents of The Burbs have no idea what you’re on about as they smugly do the hop skip to “their” theme parks.

When they’re not busy making the most out of their season passes, you can probably find them lounging around their backyard pool or perfecting their sprawling lawns.

Burbs residents can regularly be spotted outside their natural habitat due to the aforementioned proximity to the highway.

You can recognise them by their all wheel drive vehicles, which have never seen the inside of a campground but are adorned with a smattering of Baby on Board and My Family stickers.

THE RURAL SET

Natural habitat: Worongary, Tallai, Mudgeeraba, Tallebudgera Valley, Gilston, Reedy Creek, Currumbin Valley

The man rides gallantly up to the inn on his noble steed, dismounting as he seeks to quench a thirst that can only be created through a day riding the mountainous trails on horseback.

No this isn’t the script for the next Hollywood western film to be shot on the Gold Coast, but an actual scene regularly played out at Mudgeeraba’s Woodchoppers Inn.

Whether it’s the light horse museum on Worongary Road or the abundance of heritage-listed buildings, it really is like stepping on to the set of Westworld — minus the revenge-fuelled cowboy robots.

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It’s the kind of place where you go for a drive to Gilston just to see the water spilling over the wall of the Hinze Dam, or take a trip to the Currumbin rock pools to cool not just your scorched summer skin but also your soul.

You’ll be able to spot a member of the Rural Set as they’ll be dressed in their best RM Williams for their annual trip into Pacific Fair.

They’re the ones shaking their heads from under the sun safety of their Akubras while watching the tourists turn a dangerous shade of red at Surfers Paradise.

THE PARTY PEOPLE

Natural habitat: Surfers Paradise and Broadbeach

They can sleep through Schoolies and fireworks displays while still keeping half an ear open just in case it’s a shindig worth joining.

The Party People love to be where the action is.

INSIDE PARADISE CENTRE’S $30M REVAMP

While strolling Orchid Ave may leave you wondering if there was a buy one boob job, get a nose job free deal lately, there’s another side to our sparkliest suburbs.

It’s unlikely you’ll run into any of the Party People before lunch on weekends.

It’s recommended you do not approach them until they have got at least two small share plates from a Broadbeach restaurant under their belt.

THE WEST SIDE

Natural habitat: Nerang, Gaven, Highland Park

If you’ve ever heard someone who you know damn well lives well north of Beaudesert Nerang Road try to claim they’re from “Highland Park” don’t bother correcting them — they don’t deserve the glory that is being a Nerang local.

With a long history stretching back to the mid 1860s when sugar cane was established along the Nerang River, the suburb is home to many multigenerational families.

NERANG TOWN CENTRE’S MASSIVE EXPANSION PLAN

With a legacy which includes being a main stopping point for the legendary Maid of Sker, it

was one of the first townships established on the Gold Coast.

While most of us are more used to views of the mighty Nerang River further downstream, at its source it’s a different body of water altogether.

Crystal clear and trickling across the pebbles on the river bed, the beauty of the river is rivalled only by the nearby Nerang State Forest.

THE NEWBIES

Natural habitat: Pimpama, Ormeau

We remember when these were all fields. Because it was only about five minutes ago.

Now it’s all houses - on 400sqm blocks.

If you’ve been in these suburbs for two years, you’re an old-timer.

INSIDE GOLD COAST’S NEWEST SCHOOL

Many of the new residents seem to have appeared from across the ditch, with Pimpama now rivalling Coomera for the title of ‘New Auckland’.

There’s no escaping the Newbie suburbs without hitting the M1, meaning the area now also rivals more established suburbs for the title of most traffic-clogged on the Coast.

THE CLEVER CLOGS

Natural habitat: Robina, Varsity Lakes

Robina is dominated by Bond University – and locals reckon some of the smarts have rubbed off on them.

FIRST LOOK AT GIANT NEW GREENHEART PARKLANDS PROJECT

Which does little to explain why they spend half their lives lining up at the Apple Store in the institution that really dominates the suburb - Robina Town Centre.

Certainly lots more go there than the CBus Super Stadium, where there’s always plenty of room to social distance at Titans games.