We knew nothing, Jon Snow: GoT’s Ep 2 reveals fate of Cersei, Theon

WELCOME to our new series called We Knew Nothing Jon Snow, where we look back through every episode of Game Of Thrones for hidden meanings and hints. This week, Episode Two, The Kings Road.

THE second episode of Game Of Thrones not only has more dramatic irony than you could cut with a Valyrian knife, it also offers a possible ending for one of the show’s most popular characters and a dramatic change in the fate of another.

Welcome to week two of We Knew Nothing, Jon Snow, where we look back through the old episodes to find the hidden meanings and hints that we completely missed when we watched them years ago.

We’re doing this because the showrunners cut away all of George RR Martin’s subplots that did not affect his planned ending.

This week we look at Episode Two, The King’s Road, with two MASSIVE potential impacts for two of our favourite characters — Cersei Lannister and Theon Greyjoy.

The first big surprise is early on, when Tyrion Lannister wakes up with the hounds of Winterfell, to be mocked by Joffre and The Hound.

Tyrion slaps around Joffre to make his nephew go and offer condolences to the Starks over Bran’s fall — it’s a taster of a habit that will soon get Tyrion into trouble when he’s Joffre’s Hand.

Tyrion loves to give Joffre a good slapping. And we loved to watch it.

But the real whammy is when Tyrion walks in for breakfast with Cersei and Jaime and Jaime greets him as: “Little brother!”

Stop right there! Little Brother, in Valyrian, is “Valonqar”. And that’s who is destined to strangle the life from Cersei, according to the prophecy of Maggy the Frog.

Now, we were all thinking that Jaime, as Cersei’s younger twin and “Twincestuous” lover who fell out with her at the end of season seven, would be the one to kill her. That Cersei’s fear that Tyrion was going to do her in was a huge bluff on the part of the writers. After all, Tyrion strangles his true love Shae. Strangling Cersei as well seems too predictable.

But now it seems like this was a classic double bluff. If Tyrion is indeed the real “little brother”, then that is a dramatic turnabout.

But the shocks don’t stop there.

We meet Tommen and Myrcella for the first time and there is a huge shock here. Between season one and season three, someone replaced them with different people — and not even their own mother Cersei noticed!

What happened to Tommen? How did nobody notice he got replaced?

Anyway, we also get some richly ironic lines here.

When discussing Bran’s injury, Jaime says: “He’ll be a cripple, grotesque. Give me a good, clean death any day”. Oh, he’ll look back on that and laugh when Locke cuts his hand off!

And then, when Jaime accuses Tyrion of being disloyal, he replies: “You know how much I love my family!”

Hmmm. That’s a possible line towards what comes later and accusations of Tyrion betraying Daenerys to help the Lannisters.

Then we get a bizarre scene between Cersei and Catelyn, where Cersei drops a couple of bombshells. That she had another child (who died), thus seemingly altering the prophecy of Maggy the Frog who said she would only have three (and they would all die). Is this a hint that the kid Cersei is expecting will also die at birth? Plus, Cersei says the child had “black hair”, which is the sign it was Robert’s kid and not Jaime’s. Another shock bombshell, considering what is to come.

Then we’re off to have a chat between Jaime and Jon, where Jaime declares he never wants to visit The Wall and thanks Jon for protecting us from the perils beyond The Wall. Ah, the irony is thick enough to cut with a sword!

Then Jon hands Arya a sword called Needle and we see just how well trained Nymeria is. A hint that she will come back and save Arya from a Zombie Polar Bear? Let’s hope!

A lovely Arya-Jon Snow hug. They need another in season eight, please!

Jon also farewells a comatose Bran and invites him to see The Wall and go walking out beyond. Oh, that’s rich!

Robb also gets some time with Jon, where Jon tells him that “Starks are hard to kill”. Oh no they’re not!

Then Ned gets in on the act, telling Jon that: “You are a Stark and you have my blood”. Hmmm.

The dramatic irony then comes thick and fast when Ned and Robert have lunch together as Robert remembers: “What Rhaegar Targaryen did to your sister, the woman I loved!”

Well, he married her and gave her a child that became Jon Snow.

Daenerys flits in and out of this episode, suffering at Khal Drogo’s hands but able to survive that by looking at dragon eggs.

She also has a bizarre conversation about how dragons are created, talking about two moons in the sky and how one got too close to the sun, cracked and out poured dragons. Two moons? Is that a reference to the Night King? And the sun, is that a reference to the Lord Of Light’s champion, Azor Ahai? This seems to indicate there will be a dragon battle in season eight.

Dany is obsessed with dragon eggs.

Meanwhile, Dany learns to tame Drogo with some interesting sexual positions and an exhortation to “don’t be like a slave”, a clear hint of her antislavery campaign later.

But then we hear from Tyrion and Jon, where Tyrion makes what sounds like a joke, that offered the choice between castration or The Wall, “most people choose the knife”.

But is that also a hint of what is in store for Theon? After all, he has been castrated, thanks to Ramsay. Will he never fight on The Wall, ie against the Night King? Does that mean he is doomed to die fighting Euron in the east and freeing Yara? Well, let me ask you this — do Lannisters always pay their debts?

Back at Winterfell the catspaw assassin arrives to finish off Bran and very nearly cuts Catelyn’s throat, in a move eerily similar to the way she dies in the Red Wedding.

Ripping out an assassin’s throat is tiring work for Summer the direwolf.

That dagger will come back later and cut Littlefinger’s throat, much to our satisfaction.

Finally we get the great scene where a drunken Joffre tried to beat Arya’s friend, only for Nymeria to chomp him. And now the irony comes thick and fast.

When Cersei wants Arya punished, Robert retorts: ‘What would you have me do? Whip her through the streets?” As in, a Walk of Shame, Cersei.

Then when Robert orders Ser Ilyn Payne to kill Lady the direwolf, Ned shoulders him out of the way.

“The wolf is of the north, it deserves better than a butcher,” says Ned, in a remarkable hint of what is to come.

When Cersei suggests that Ned is going to try “some trick” to avoid the execution, he insists that won’t happen. Ah, sadly again this is also true.

The irony flows thick and fast in this episode, hinting at Cersei’s Walk Of Shame and Ned’s death.

Finally, when Lady dies, Bran wakes up. The start of his warging has begun.

So we have huge layers of irony throughout, plus a pair of huge clues about how Cersei and Theon die and a whopping great hint that there’s a dragon battle to come.

Not bad for one episode!