I’m a Westeros Celebrity ... get me out of here! hits Game Of Thrones

WELCOME to the first series of I’m A Westeros Celebrity ... Get me Out Of Here! as some of the most famous faces from Game Of Thrones get to grips with living in the jungle in a reality TV series.

WELCOME to the first series of I’m A Westeros Celebrity ... Get me Out Of Here! as some of the most famous faces from Game Of Thrones get to grips with living in the jungle in a reality TV series.

WEEK ONE

The camp mates settle in. The usual camp banter about AFL and NRL rivalry is replaced with threats to slaughter each other and remembering old grudges, such as who killed who’s parents or besmirched their House’s honour.

Pretty much everyone wants to be Camp Leader, creating enormous drama. Petyr Baelish secretly confides to Lord Varys that he’s planning to use a Ladder Of Chaos to get out of the camp and actually run the show.

The constant fighting to see who gets to sit in the Camp Leader’s chair — dubbed the Iron Throne — gets nasty.

Several contestants are concerned when the show’s theme tune abruptly changes to the Rains Of Castamere.

It is a huge shock when Ned Stark, who was the early favourite to win the show, is removed from the show.

Nobody saw Ned Stark leaving the show.

Still, spirits are raised when Daenerys wins the Tucker Trial by downing an entire raw horse’s heart.

However, the hosts are slightly concerned that she insists on spending the night in the cooking fire with three large eggs.

WEEK TWO

The camp mates are getting very hungry after the Tucker Trial proves to be set by The Mountain and consists of seeing how long you can survive with a rat-filled bucket strapped to your chest.

Daenerys has left the camp and is currently wandering around the jungle, escorted by three baby baboons that she insists can fly. She also demands that instead of texting Daenerys, viewers text “MotherofDragons”.

Daenerys leaves the camp and wanders off with three small baboons, which she calls dragons.

Cersei reveals she has several flagons of wine smuggled into the camp as contraband by getting drunk and offering hilariously cutting comments about everyone else.

Stannis, who had demanded to be made Camp Leader and went off in a sulk, attempts to sail across the waterfall pool, which he calls Blackwater Bay, with an army of inflatable boats to seize the leader’s chair.

Tyrion offers to blow them up, which only confuses most of the camp, who tell him that’s what you need to do with inflatable boats.

Robb vows revenge for seeing his father’s stay on the show cut very short but his insistence that “Winter is coming” is annoying other camp mates as they are currently sweltering in the jungle heat.

Things don’t go well when Theon Greyjoy gets voted in for his first Tucker Trial and has to survive a night in Ramsay Bolton’s dungeon. He comes back missing any stars, a vital body part and insisting that everyone calls him Reek from now on.

Still, there are more shocks in store when Sam, out gathering wood for the camp, comes running back to declare there is an army of Undead wandering around to the north. He insists on calling them White Walkers but closer inspection by viewers reveals them to be a bunch of lost American tourists in loud Hawaiian shirts. Many in the camp claim they would prefer flesh-eating zombies instead.

WEEK THREE

The fighting between the camp mates gets particularly ugly, while the Tucker Trials get stranger when Brienne has to fight a bear, armed only with a wooden sword. Jaime, who has been one of the most unpopular contestants up to this point, jumps in to save her, sending social media wild.

Meanwhile, Ygritte and Jon Snow have to spend a steamy night in a cave together, which has viewers very excited.

Jon Snow’s big night with Ygritte has tongues wagging.

There is also plenty of drama when Jon’s friends in the Night Watch decide to leave the show and set up their own camp.

Meanwhile Gendry decides to row across the waterfall pool — and disappears.

But the real shock of the week is when Robb, Catelyn and Talisa all leave the show suddenly, forcing many fans to declare they will stop watching — but secretly they still are.

Daenerys discovers a city-like camp and sends her baboon/dragons in to attack the leaders. The bewildered camp staff, who had been providing food and cleaning services for the show, are a little shocked to hear they are “free” and that they need to call her “breaker of chains”.

WEEK FOUR

Joffrey’s Pigeon Pie Tucker Trial does not end well.

The Tucker Trials get even weirder, although most fans were delighted to see Joffrey fail the Pigeon Pie test, while most were devastated when Oberyn’s Tucker Trial by combat with The Mountain ended in a crushing way.

The Tucker Trial between Oberyn Martell and The Mountain ends crushingly.

The romance between Tyrion and Shae, which had been one of the show’s highlights, ends shockingly when Tyrion tries to get her off the show to “protect her”. But it’s not as shocking as when Shae turns up in the camp bed of Tyrion’s father, Tywin Lannister. Tyrion not only gets rid of Shae but then shoots his father while Tywin is on the Long Drop with a Nerf crossbow.

The show threatens to splinter when Cersei demands Tyrion is removed and joins the “Mother of Baboons” on her wandering through the jungle.

Tywin Lannister being shot on the Long Drop was a shocking twist.

Arya, meanwhile, is insisting she is “nobody” and keeps putting on strange masks and accents, confusing everyone who is trying to vote to keep her in the jungle.

There are even more shocks ahead when Petyr Baelish throws Lysa Arryn off the top of the Tucker Trial dam.

But viewers are in tears when Ygritte leaves the show after a huge fight in the camp.

WEEK FIVE

The biggest shock comes from an intruder, who arrives dressed in rags and insisting he be called the “High Sparrow”.

Tucker Trials don’t get much easier either, with Cersei’s “Walk Of Shame” setting a new record for using black bars in a family-friendly timeslot.

Stannis, who has been sulking since his inflatable fleet sank, now suggests burning his daughter alive to ensure he ends up winning. Thankfully, he is dragged away by Brienne and his time on the show is ended.

Ramsay leaves the odious Myranda to hook up with Sansa, revolting viewers.

Arya keeps wearing other people’s shirts, confusing viewers, while still insisting she is Nobody.

Daenerys, on the other hand, has to perform an aerial Tucker Trial but tells everyone it’s not a problem because she is used to riding dragons. Her three baboons, meanwhile, have run off into the jungle.

Fans are horrified when Petyr arranges it so Ramsay and Sansa appear to be a couple.

But that’s nothing compared to the shock when Jon Snow abruptly departs, backstabbed by his friends.

WEEK SIX

Social media goes crazy when Jon Snow returns, thanks to the work of the previously hated Melisandre.

However, characters on the show start disappearing at a much faster rate.

Meanwhile those watching on catchup TV are amazed to find Bran keeps popping up in unusual places and in episodes he hadn’t previously been seen in.

During one of those, poor Hodor disappears from the show while attempting to hold the door open on the Long Drop.

Ramsay was removed from the show after a vicious Tucker Trial organised by Sansa, where he didn’t have to eat dogs but be eaten by them.

Arya finally taking back her name and baking a Frey pie delighted viewers.

Arya finally admits she is Arya and then ends Walder Frey’s time on the show after whipping up a pie that has even the makers of the Tucker Trials feeling sick.

Daenerys, having been reunited with her baboons, sets sail across the waterfall pond, heading for the camp.

However, before she can reach it, Cersei prepares to blow the whole place up rather than lose the Camp Leader’s chair.

So who win the series?

It’s all heading for an explosive finale...

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