Courtney Thorpe shares pregnancy hardships

Courtney Thorpe, who is expecting her first child with Gold Coast Titans player Jarrod Wallace, has opened up about feeling judged by other mums for hating her pregnancy at times.

Courtney Thorpe and Jarrod Wallace pictured at their baby shower. Supplied.

COURTNEY Thorpe says she feels judged by other mums for hating her pregnancy at times after suffering a number of serious complications.

The 29-year-old, who is expecting her first child - a baby girl - with her Gold Coast Titans player husband Jarrod Wallace, opened up to The Sunday Mail in the hopes of reassuring other women in her position they weren’t alone, that pregnancy was mentally and physically tough and it was normal to feel it wasn’t a “magical” experience.

Thorpe, who wed Wallace in on the Gold Coast in May, said her struggles began early in her pregnancy with “excruciating pain” likely caused by scarring from endometriosis and the stress of finding out she was not immune to Rubella, despite being vaccinated, as well as being diagnosed with CMV disease, a common viral infection that can cause complications for the baby including poor hearing and vision.

“You become so protective of this little thing, your mind goes straight to the worst case scenario and that (the CMV) was hard because it was around the same time we were telling everyone I was pregnant and finding out the gender - it was a really stressful few weeks,” she said.

Courtney Thorpe and Jarrod Wallace pictured at their baby shower.

The former Miss World Australia and The Great Day Out presenter, who is 34 weeks pregnant on Monday, has also had low iron, high blood pressure and bad swelling, which culminated in her being hospitalised last weekend to be monitored for pre-eclampsia, a disorder that can threaten both her life and that of her unborn daughter.

“The doctors told me my blood pressure is so high, bub could come any day now and the goal is to get as far along (in the pregnancy) as we can,” she said, before breaking down in tears.

“It’s been a really big mix of emotions in that I’ve not enjoyed being pregnant, I haven’t had the chance to and now she might come early and I haven’t had my moment and I don’t get to be pregnant anymore.”

Thorpe also has placenta previa, which means the placenta has implanted at the bottom of the uterus and, in her case, has completely covered the cervix meaning she will have to deliver her daughter via Cesarean Section as natural delivery would put Thorpe’s life at risk.

Courtney Thorpe pictured at her wedding to Jarrod Wallace in May.

“I know it’s not the end of the world - there are people going through worse,” she said.

“But it’s just been exhausting and overwhelming and you feel so incredibly alone. The baby is so healthy so I feel like it’s my body letting the team down and it’s scary because you don’t know what’s around the corner. I’m terrified about what’s next.”

She said she wanted women to know that even if they didn’t have complications, it was “OK” not to enjoy pregnancy, experience body image issues and resent the morning sickness and lack of energy.

“I feel judged by the mums who have been lucky enough to have good pregnancies,” she said.

“I’m not saying the women that have good pregnancies need to be quiet but the women like me need to feel they have the right to speak.

“Anyone that says ‘it’s all worth it’, I don't want to know about it - that comment makes you feel so guilty, like you’re not grateful for bringing this baby into the world and it’s not about that.

Courtney Thorpe’s unborn daughter pictured in her 25-week ultrasound image.

“It doesn’t change that it has been really hard and it doesn’t mean that I don’t love her or that I can’t wait to meet her - I don’t get why we aren’t able to separate the two and be able to support each other, not judge or guilt and just be an ear.”

Thorpe said, throughout her pregnancy, she has been contacted by many other women saying they felt the same.

Having gained 20kgs during her pregnancy and with swelling having caused her feet to go from size 7 to 11, Thorpe said she had struggled with her own body image issues.

“I don’t even recognise myself, I haven’t even taken photos of myself while I’ve been pregnant,” she said.

“I don’t even like to look at myself in the mirror and it’s sad because I know I’ll probably look back and go ‘God, I wish I had more photos of being pregnant with my first child’.”