Late nights, gendered power imbalances and the ubiquity of alcohol conspire to make hospitality one of the least friendly industries for women working in front-of-house service positions.

This has been thrown into sharp focus with explosive news that one of Sydney’s top bar and restaurant groups, Swillhouse Group, owners of Le Foote, Restaurant Hubert and four other venues, faces claims it pushed female staff out of the company after they reported sexual assaults, encouraged staff to have sex with customers and take drugs while on shift, and discriminated against women.

“As long as there’s alcohol and ego in hospitality, there are always going to be problems with people being inappropriate,” says Kaidee Grzankowski, a 24-year veteran of the industry who is now a co-owner of Maggie’s Snacks and Liquor in Melbourne’s Brunswick East.

“The behaviour is not changing,” she says. “The industry is more aware of it. We are speaking about it, we are acting on it more quickly, but it still goes on.”

Grzankowski, who started working in restaurants at 14 (she is now 38), says she has been sexually assaulted in the workplace and not believed when she spoke up about it.

“I was conditioned to accept that speaking out was causing trouble,” she says. “If anything happened, whether it was a customer or staff member or even a boss touching us or saying something inappropriate, it was, ‘Keep your head down, keep your mouth shut and crack on’, no matter what. It’s a toxic culture, and it’s beyond time for it to change.”

The data backs her up. In 2023, United Workers Union released a study called Hospo’s Harassment Problem.

“Hospitality has a systemic sexual harassment and gender-based violence problem that has reached endemic levels,” the report says. Its survey of South Australian workers found that 47 per cent of respondents had experienced sexual harassment at work, and 58 per cent of these reported that the perpetrator was a supervisor.

The victims are much more likely to be women or non-binary, and the skewing of the industry to young, migrant, casual workers further increases the likelihood of them experiencing harassment.

It’s not just an Australian problem. In the United States, “more sexual harassment claims … are filed in the restaurant industry than in any other, where as many as 90 per cent of women and 70 per cent of men reportedly experience some form of sexual harassment”, states a 2018 report from Harvard Business Review.

Claire Van Vuuren is the chef and owner of Bloodwood in Sydney’s Newtown and a founding board member of the mentoring and support organisation Women in Hospitality.

“I don’t put up with any bad behaviour, and I always promote inclusivity,” she says. “I want to create an environment where everyone is comfortable.”

She’s disappointed that men still dominate the ranks of business owners and head chefs. “I thought by 2024 that it would be 50-50,” she says.

Van Vuuren is no fan of television shows such as The Bear, which has won multiple Emmys for its portrayal of a restaurant under immense pressure.

“That doesn’t help the situation,” she says. “That kind of yelling: I was tense the whole time. It’s sad that people are idolising a male chef that isn’t dealing well with their stress levels.”

Morgan Kilgariff opened Evil Thoughts bar in Melbourne’s Brunswick in April, partly because she’d had enough of being an employee in toxic workplaces. Now 29, she has worked in hospitality since she was 18.

“In my first job, my supervisor – a married man with two kids – sent me unsolicited pictures of him in bed,” she says. “Before I got the courage to speak up, I was worried that this is the guy who does my roster, this is the guy that pays me. When I did tell someone, he locked me in a room and screamed that I’d ruined any chance he had for a promotion.”

‘It’s a toxic culture, and it’s beyond time for it to change.’

Kaidee Grzankowski, Maggie’s Snacks and Liquor

In other workplaces, she was unsupported when reporting assault. Being assertive routinely resulted in being told she was too dramatic and emotional and should consider medication.

In a busy pub, while collecting glasses one shift, she was deliberately shoved by a male customer and ended up on the floor covered in broken glass. Her male boss reprimanded her.

“For women, I don’t think the industry is ever going to change,” she says. “You always end up the villain if you speak up. I am not going to work for a man again.”

Kilgariff’s experiences reflect the research. Not So Hospitable is a University of Melbourne study based on information gathered by South Australian sexologist, researcher and former hospitality worker Jamie Bucirde.

The report says the service mantra “the customer is always right” is dangerous for workers.

“The prioritisation of customer satisfaction and venue profit over the safety and dignity of hospitality workers underscores a troubling cultural norm within the industry,” it says.

In 2023, the University of Newcastle published a study called Gender, sexual harassment, and violence in the hospitality industry, based on interviews with workers in Melbourne and Newcastle. The research drew a connection between “femininity norms” and harassment, especially for waiters and servers.

“Gender norms related to femininity (such as creating a ‘friendly’, welcoming and ‘fun’ atmosphere) are central to the working practices expected from women, queer and non-binary workers,” says the report. “These same gender norms also informed frequent instances of being sexually harassed at work by customers.”

Women were also called upon to manage difficult patrons. “Gendered associations which position femininity as a caring capacity associated with managing complex interpersonal relations create situations of significant potential harm for workers,” the Newcastle study found.

‘Men are often situated in positions of power within the industry, and support the careers of other men even when they engage in abusive behaviour.’

University of Newcastle study

Bars are common sites of abuse but fine-dining restaurants are not immune, with some customers assuming their money buys them more than food and wine. Tamara, a respondent to the University of Newcastle study, outlined a situation in which a male customer’s napkin twice ended up on the floor. He asked her to bend down to pick it up, and got annoyed when she brought him a new one instead.

Just as caring is thought to be normal for women, being abusers is normalised for men.

“Hospitality was described as a boys’ club, reflected through refrains such as boys will be boys,” notes the Not So Hospitable report. “That is, men are often situated in positions of power within the industry, and support the careers of other men even when they engage in abusive behaviour. This attitude fosters a culture where misconduct and harassment are excused or even condoned particularly when perpetrated by male employees in positions of power.”

One respondent described a perpetrator as follows: “He’s a predator who has operated with impunity in an industry that rewards misogyny and aggression with hero status while victims suffer.”

Loren Daniels is a long-time manager in the industry and now consults hospitality businesses on strategy.

“When I think of the people in our industry that I respect the most, the majority are women, and the common virtues that make them great leaders are perspective and empathy – superpowers when it comes to creating a great workplace culture,” she says. “Perhaps with more women empowered in genuine leadership roles, then the future of the industry could be a far more balanced place.”

Surely things are shifting, since #MeToo and national inquiries into gender discrimination and violence?

“The industry is slowly changing for the better,” says Stefanie Wee, a Perth hospitality worker who runs Last Call, an organisation promoting accountability and change. She was awarded a scholarship by the Melbourne Food and Wine Festival in 2023 to study hospitality workplace culture.

“I see more hospitality groups taking more proactive approaches,” she says. “During my scholarship visits with hospo groups in Melbourne and Sydney, I encountered companies that have policies like anonymous HR email reporting channels and EAP [employment assistance program] services for employees.”

In her role in people and culture at Parker Group, a Perth-based hospitality organisation, all staff are required to undertake a training module in sexual harassment during onboarding.

The message is sinking in for some. Van Vuuren says: “People I’ve worked with, the ones who were the scary chefs, they’ve had to modify their behaviour, otherwise they don’t have jobs.”

The legal landscape is shifting, too. A 2022 amendment to the National Sex Discrimination Act imposes a positive duty on businesses to eliminate sexual discrimination and harassment. Regardless of their size or resources, organisations must actively prevent workplace sexual harassment, sex discrimination and other relevant unlawful conduct, rather than responding only after it occurs.

‘If you’re not actively addressing poor behaviour, you are supporting it.’

Matthew Stirling, Caretaker’s Cottage

“It’s an incredible law,” says Jamie Bucirde. “If the moral and ethical obligation of protecting your staff wasn’t enough motivation, now they legally have to do so and will be facing huge financial penalties if they don’t.”

The surge in digital communication has been a major change since Kaidee Grzankowski started in hospitality two decades ago. “Hospitality wasn’t a community then; it was every man for himself,” she says. “Now it’s more collaborative and supportive.”

Bars in her area have a WhatsApp group that shares information on problematic customers. “We’ll say, ‘Look out for this person, don’t give them any more alcohol.’”

She’s also a fan of vigilante Instagram accounts that call out bad behaviour. “They are hardcore but I think, ‘Give this person a medal,’” she says. “We should be sharing information and stamping it out.”

Some male business owners are creating change, too. Matthew Stirling is a co-owner of Caretaker’s Cottage bar in Melbourne’s CBD, which has a zero-tolerance approach to poor behaviour.

“It is the responsibility of someone running a licensed venue to keep it safe,” he says. “The fact that we serve alcohol is no excuse for anything. We just don’t tolerate it. We trust and believe our staff, we are preventative and proactive, and if it’s serious, we would have no hesitation in bringing in the police.”

Stirling has worked in venues where standards were lower and sanctions were inconsistent.

“If you’re not actively addressing poor behaviour, you are supporting it,” he says. “Change is necessary but meaningful change takes time: the most important thing I can do is set an example and back up what I say.”