New Qantas chief executive Vanessa Hudson released a hostage video on Friday morning, admitting to customers that “I know that we have let you down in many ways and for that I am sorry. We haven’t delivered the way we should have and we’ve often been hard to deal with … We understand we need to earn your trust back not with what we say but what we do and how we behave.”

The only thing missing was a stirring soundtrack – perhaps a cutaway shot of the Qantas board in Napisan-white tunics singing in falsetto at the summit of a dusty gorge. As crisis management productions go, it’s a deep fake.