Melbourne appreciates itself (no one else will) for its ostensible cultural superiority over Sydney, much of which seems to relate to the southern capital’s alleged prowess in major events.

Nothing screams cosmopolitan metropolis like Eddie McGuire suggesting the King Kong musical in Melbourne invite Adam Goodes to open the event (for which McGuire later apologised) or his joke about drowning football journalist Caroline Wilson in an MCG ice bath (for which McGuire later apologised).