Julian Leeser has quit his role as the Shadow Indigenous Australians Minister. But what will he do now? Luckily, the Fin’s re-employment correspondent Ms Rowena Jobsworth-Dolequeue suggests a few options:

Julian Leeser, Maître d’: “Well of course I came to this table in good faith and since Day One I’ve been advocating for the vegan lasagne although I believe in my heart and in my soul that the entrée is a matter for each and every one of us but unfortunately the chef is in favour of the lamb shanks and I think we should always find a way to wear each other’s aprons although there are many out there who are passionate about the chicken wings although I don’t think the sous-chef has prepared stock for the lobster bisque particularly well but at least I can stand here and tell my children that I chose a main course I believe in.”