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The lesser woes of quatorzetine

In recognition that all her children’s unwanted and discarded iPhones end up being dropped off to her place where they are lovingly cherished, Jenni Brown of Stanmore has renamed her home “the iPhonage”.

Suffering through a whole 14 days of quarantine? Amateurs. Greg Rutter of Musk (Vic) asks, “Why are we calling it ‘quarantine’ when we do it for 14 days rather than the original 40? I suppose ‘quatorzetine’ is a bit clumsy.”

Back in the ’90s, Sue Casiglia of North Ryde reports that “the hospital in Port Vila, Vanuatu, had an official document for its employees which had a long and detailed explanation about how daylight savings worked. Right at the end, it actually said that if you don’t understand any of this, just keep to the old time (C8).”

Ahem, the Wizard of Christchurch (C8) WAS from Oz, according to Ian Paton of Russell Lea. “The first Christchurch Wizard was an import from OZ, Ian Channel. He was the resident wizard at UNSW and greater Sydney in the ’70s before moving to Christchurch in the ’80s to ply his craft there.” However, Ian cannot confirm that the wizard flew himself there. John Miller of South Coogee also recalls that the wizard of Christchurch is actually an Australian, as apparently “the locals felt that only a foreigner was eccentric enough to take the position.”

Brian Robson of Roselands remembers that “in 1969 and 1970 Melbourne University also had a resident wizard. He signed all of his proclamations ‘G. Wiz’.” Confirming this is Sue Bradley of Eltham (Vic), who fondly remembers seeing the Wizard of Melbourne University around campus in the early ’70s, “robes and hair flying, an awe-inspiring and slightly terrifying figure.” Same wizard? A whole wizarding world happening in Australian universities in the 1970s? Or something in the air, perhaps?

David Griffiths of Wollongong notes the omission of a much closer to home example of clockwise and anticlockwise bus loops (C8). “In Wollongong, the Gongshuttle has been a hugely successful operation for over 12 years. On route 55, the two services are simply known as the 55A and the 55C. Everyone who uses this service knows what the A and C stand for.”

With uncanny timing, John Woods of Winmalee shares a particularly apt Gunston-ism (C8). “The little Aussie bleeder’s all-time classic is, I believe, ‘Wollongong is not a place, it’s a condition’.”

Column8@smh.com.au
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Original URL: https://www.watoday.com.au/national/nsw/the-lesser-woes-of-quatorzetine-20211021-p591v7.html