“As a survivor I should have the right to tell my story with my name.”

“My story has already been told so many times by other people: police, prosecutors, journalists, not to mention, town gossips. I’m the only one who is not allowed to tell it,” says survivor.

I AM writing today to urge you to reform Section 194K of the Evidence Act, which effectively gags sexual assault victims from being named in public, even with our full consent.

As one of many rape survivors impacted by this law, I would like to explain the harm the law causes and the reasons why I want to tell my story under my real name.

I understand that the current law is intended to shield survivors from the impact of being identified, but as an adult and someone that has survived what I have, I believe I should have the choice to use my name without legal ramifications for myself or others.

Without my name or my face, it is not my story, it is just my words, and I am just another number. This is dehumanising in the extreme.

Through police interviews, counselling sessions and three separate trials spanning over two years, I was forced to relive every detail of what happened to me.

At times, court felt like being raped all over again. I don’t think I’ll ever forget spending my 18th birthday on the witness stand being drilled with questions and being told I wasn’t telling the truth. I still find that one hard to forgive.

Back then in the 1990s, the courts were open and anyone off the street could walk in and sit down and listen – and people did.

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Small towns can crucify you, and in those days victims were never protected by the courts. The result was that my identity quickly became public knowledge, and my story, public property.

And now I want it to be my property again: my story to tell, on my terms.

In total, I’ve now waited 25 years, and it’s been a long, complex process of recovery. There were times when I was younger when I didn’t want to talk about what I had been through at all. But as I got older I realised there is healing in talking about and sharing my experience with others.

I’m hoping that telling my story in public under my real name will help other survivors feel at ease to talk about the trauma they have been through too. I want to say to other survivors: You did not ask for this. No person ever asks for it. You will survive. You can get through it with help.

It seems cruel to me that convicted perpetrators are able to speak, yet the survivors are denied this same right.

When we are forced to talk from the shadows it dilutes our stories and robs us of our ability to connect with others.

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There is power in being able to say my name. Not only does it help shatter the stigma to have survivors speak, but there is educational value too in survivors being able to participate in public debates as full public citizens with unique and valuable insights to share.

I think about what I have already endured and I know I have the courage to be named.

When I was a teenager, I survived being raped, beaten and told I was going to be killed.

Going through that and the court cases was the hardest thing I have ever had to do.

I sometimes look back at what I went through when I was 16 and wish I could have had someone to reach out to, who knew and understood what I was going through back then.

If I had been able to see survivors speaking publicly in the media without shame or stigma back then, it probably would have saved me from a lot of self destruction and confusion that I’ve experienced.

If I could speak to other survivors right now I would tell them this: there is a grieving process that survivors go through and it may take some time, but you will get through it.

You are not to blame no matter how much you feel you are to blame. Reach out to those in the community that can help. Fear can be life consuming, but you can push through it. Take one day at a time and know your journey is an important one.