My ex is p*ssed that I watched a movie with our daughter about periods

“Everything went fine up until this morning when I got a message from her mum, visibly furious… basically saying that she’s the one who should be handling those topics."

A father has taken to reddit to ask if he was wrong to discuss periods with his daughter.

The single father, who shares 50/50 custody with his ex, admits there are a couple of “sensitive topics" he and his tween daughter "still have difficulties talking about.”

This topic of menstruation was raised after the two had watched 2023 drama/comedy, Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret, starring Rachel McAdams. During and after the movie, the inquisitive nine-year-old had a lot of questions about the adaptation of Judy Blume’s book of the same title. 

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“She loved it and couldn’t wait to learn more”

“My opinion is that - regardless of the topic - a parent should never shy away from a question, and I always try to answer all questions, acknowledging that I don’t know and I will look the answer up if that’s the case.” the father wrote in the post. 

He continues, “Everything went fine (this was a week ago) up until this morning where I get a message from my ex visibly furious that I watched this movie with our daughter.” 

“Still very pissed reaction from her basically saying that she’s the one who should be handling ‘those topics’.”

Perhaps unsurprisingly, the response to the post was heavily in the father’s favour, saying he wasn’t wrong for watching the film and discussing the topic of reproductive health at a “high-level” with his daughter. 

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Some responses from parents included, “I’m a mum who told my boys about periods is that wrong? No. Biology can be taught by everyone to everyone. I also watched Turning Red with my boys. You should watch it with your daughter.”  

Another mum wrote: “Not only is it not wrong, it’s essential. On a practical level, your daughter is at the age where many girls have their first period.”

If you can handle it, so can she. 

As a parenting writer and Advice Needed columnist, I believe that if parents are separated, it would be a good conversation to have separately before your daughter comes to either of you with questions. In this case, the father in question was right and could have even gone a step further, doing some research to be able to answer his daughters queries.

Dads we get it, periods aren’t in your biologically remit, but what if Mum isn’t around? Most girls will naturally go to their mother for advice, given the shared experience. However, for single dads, if you have a daughter approaching “that” age, it’s important to be informed to avoid misinformation from outside sources, aka Google Doctor. Don’t just offer to go to the supermarket to buy female-hygiene products, educate yourself. It’s better to be prepared with answers if she comes to you and you’re never too old to learn something new!  

Further, don't ignore what she's experiencing or pretend it isn't happening. If she has come to you, take that as a win. She feels comfortable with you and trusts you. Match that by knowing as much as you can ahead of time. Stay positive, so that the overall experience is not one of fear but pride and acceptance. Periods should be a topic of conversation in daily life, like at the dinner table or when something relevant appears on TV, as it did for this dad.

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Top Tips for talk about periods with your daughter

• Talking about puberty isn’t taboo until puberty happens. The earlier and more casual the conversation, the easier it is
• If they are asking the question, give them the answer. If you don’t know the answer, that’s ok too, be honest and tell her you will come back to it when you do know. Or offer to bring in a female-figure (mum, aunt, family friend)
• Don’t make it a big “sit-down”, keep it light and casual 
• Take her seriously, especially when it comes to PMS symptoms 
• Privacy is key, be aware who’s around 
• Keep her confidence if she asks for it

RELATED: Menstruation: fact and figures

First period kits are available through many well known retailers, stocking you up with all the essentials for when she needs it. Keep the communication lines entirely open from here on out, that’s the best path to take as your daughter moves into the tween and teen years. 

Originally published as My ex is p*ssed that I watched a movie with our daughter about periods