Mum left furious after dad shaves tween's hair off behind her back

"My wife was obsessed with our daughter's hair. Now she won't talk to me," the dad admitted. 

A dad has found himself questioning if he's in the wrong for secretly taking his eight-year-old daughter, Anna, to get her hair shaved off without her mum's knowledge.

The dad shared his predicament on a parenting forum, explaining that Anna had long, thick, blonde, and curly hair, which his wife would spend "hours" brushing and styling daily since she was a toddler.

He viewed this as his wife having an "obsession" with their daughter's hair, as their bathroom cabinets were "filled to the brim" with hair products. 

However, he said, "Anna has never been too fond of getting her hair done, or of anything that involves having to sit still for more than a few minutes..."

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"She begged me for a shorter hair cut"

This resulted in daily struggles between her and her mum that involved "screaming fests".

"Lately, she'd been begging for a shorter haircut. My wife ignored her whenever the topic was brought up in hopes that she'd forget about it, but none of that ended up happening," he said. 

"I think Anna realised she was getting nowhere with her mum because she started asking me to take her instead. I was reluctant to at first because I didn't know how my wife would react, but I agreed when I saw just how excited the kid was over something as simple as a haircut."

The next day, he took her to get a haircut and let her choose what she wanted done. She chose a "really short clipper cut."

"I knew I was gonna be in deep sh*t with my wife," the OP admits. "At that point though, there was no turning back. I mean, what could I have really done? Told her that no, she can't get the haircut she was so over the moon about, all because her mum wouldn't like it? I couldn't do that."

The tween was thrilled with the result, smiling and showing it off to other people at the salon. She even asked her dad to take pictures of her - something she never does. 

Unsurprisingly, her mum reacted badly, refusing to even look at Anna, locking herself in her room to cry and eventually leaving the house.

"It's been a day now and she's still not back, it's honestly starting to worry me. I knew she wouldn't react well to the haircut but I wasn't expecting her to take it this badly. The kid's upset too and no matter how much I reassure her she still thinks she's in trouble for getting her hair cut. AITA?" the dad concludes. 

Image: IStock

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"This isn't about Anna's hair"

"This isn’t about Anna’s hair," one of the top comments pointed out. "It’s about her body autonomy.

"What your wife has been doing and is continuing to do is sending the message to Anna that her body is not her own and despite her own desires, she should put other people’s feelings about what she does with her body first. Is this really the message you want your daughter to learn?

"Think about the long-term implications of learning to give in to other people’s wants about her body."

Another added: "This is definitely about Anna being her little dress-up doll. Wife sees the daughter as a trophy child, something she can show off.

"Why else would she have such an extreme reaction to Anna having her hair cut? Poor baby, she's probably worried her mum hates her now for getting her hair the way she wanted it."

And a third said: "NTA. My mum never let me choose how I got my haircut, I’m now over 40 and still resent her for it. It’s just hair. Your wife is being over dramatic."

"It was either you took her to get it cut or she got in the drawer and used the scissors," pointed out a fourth.

Some people did call the dad out for "going behind his wife's back" but others defended him and said he was, "left with no choice" and "had to do what was right for his daughter."

Originally published as Mum left furious after dad shaves tween's hair off behind her back