Kirat Assi reveals she was catfished for almost 10 years

A woman in a relationship for almost 10 years had her world turned upside down when she knocked on his door one morning.

A woman who was catfished for close to a decade has revealed why she has gone public with her story, saying she wants the act to be made a criminal offence.

Kirat Assi was catfished by someone close to her, she reveals in a new Netflix documentary titled Sweet Bobby: My Catfish Nightmare.

At 32, the marketing worker received a message on Facebook from a cardiologist named Bobby Jandu. They weren’t total strangers — they were both in the same London Sikh community and Bobby’s younger brother JJ was dating Kirat’s cousin Simran Bhogal. They’d run into each other once at a nightclub in Brighton.

At the time, both Bobby and Kirat were both in relationships and became friends, regularly messaging each other to check in.

When Bobby got divorced, he leaned on Kirat for support. Kirat did the same when her on-and-off again long term relationship fell apart for a final time after he refused to commit.

Kirat Assi was catfished for eight years. Picture: Netflix

However, things started to spiral when Bobby’s brand new wife Sanj took to Facebook to say her husband had been shot six times when they were in Kenya. Eventually, Bobby claimed to Kirat, he'd been put in witness protection and was in New York.

It was during this time that Bobby, who said his second marriage had broken down, confessed he had feelings for Kirat.

“I love you too much. It’s not good,” Bobby wrote to her.

Immediately, she messaged a group chat she has with two of Bobby’s good friends — one of whom was on his medical team — and revealed his confession. They both encouraged her to go after it.

But, as she was trying to process what he said to her, Bobby had a stroke. He messaged her things like he couldn't feel his right side, before he vanished online.

Rajvir — the medical team friend — later sent her a photo of a man in a hospital bed covered in wire and instructions to record a farewell message.

“I love you so much, Bobby. Whatever we have, it’s special. I wish things could have been different,” a tearful Kirat sent.

She confessed her love towards him, telling Netflix that she couldn’t believe it had taken until Bobby was on his deathbed for her to realise the feelings she had.

But, thankfully, he pulled through. She continued to send voice notes. He said he could only text her as he couldn’t speak due to the stroke.

She thought she was engaged to a cardiologist named Bobby. Picture: Netflix

They did not meet up in person — and had only met once — but despite that the pair became engaged.

Bobby made a group chat with his family and Kirat to introduce them to each other. She got dozens of messages back welcoming her to the family.

But soon Kirat’s heart was broken. Bobby revealed his ex wife was pregnant with his child, confessing they’d had a one-night stand several months back.

“It felt unfair … knowing how much I wanted to be a mum,” she said, and Kirat turned to her baby cousin Simran for advice.

In the end, they continued the relationship but Kirat made it clear she didn’t want Sanj, Bobby’s ex, in her life. Things continued to progress between the pair but there was only so much that can happen online.

Kirat started to beg Rajvir to bring Bobby back to the UK, but at every turn there was an obstacle. Bobby then became more reliant on Kirat as his physical and mental health was in turmoil. She found herself walking on eggshells.

“If I wasn’t on the other end of the phone line, it would upset him,” Kirat said.

Eventually, it became a cycle of waking up, sending a selfie to Bobby, going to work and texting him throughout the day, spending time with her family and jumping on a Skype call.

Friends and family started expressing their concerns, saying Kirat seemed withdrawn from how she used to be.

Kirat was 32 when she got Bobby’s Facebook message. Picture: Netflix

But, when a family member became gravely ill, Kirat demanded Bobby fly back to the UK. He did but when he got to the hotel he refused to see her, telling her she was smothering him. At her wits end, she hired a private investigator to find where he lived, suspecting he may be with the mother of his son. She got an address in Brighton and immediately drove down to the beachside town.

When she confronted Bobby and Bobby’s wife, Sanj, they had no idea who she was.

They were worried that she may attack their son. Kirat called Simran, who told her to leave the couple’s home.

The next day, Simran knocked on her door but refused to come in.

Simran confessed to creating up to 60 different profiles in order to string her cousin along for close to a decade. She never revealed why she did it, only begging Bobby and Kirat not to go to the police.

Kirat and Bobby did go to the police, but Simran was never charged as there are no laws against catfishing in the UK.

In 2020, Kirat took Simran to civil court and won “substantial damages”. However, it appeared the legal side of things wasn’t over with Met Police confirming to Today.com that the case had been reopened.

She hired a private investigator. Picture: Netflix

“It’s kind of happening, but it’s very, very slow. I was hoping it would be done before the documentary, but, yeah, it’s not happened,” Kirat said.

Simran has only spoken publicly once since everything came to light in a 2021 podcast.

“This matter concerns a family dispute over events that began over a decade ago, when I was a schoolgirl. As far as I’m concerned, this is a private family matter that has been resolved,” she said, according to Radio Times.

“I strongly object to the numerous unfounded and seriously defamatory accusations that have been made about me, as well as details of private matters that have been shared with the media.”

Kirat told the BBC she was “not OK” with Simran being out there and no idea what she was doing. She simply wants to know why she was targeted and who else has been a victim of Simran.

She is sharing her story because she wants to change the way catfishing is viewed, saying it should be considered a crime as she didn’t consent to Simran knowing such intimate details about her life. Since she went public with her story, she’s had people reach out to her about their traumatic catfishing experience.

Originally published as Kirat Assi reveals she was catfished for almost 10 years