How is access to social media really affecting our kids?

Paediatric psychologist Amanda Abel weighs in on the age debate and what parents keep forgetting when giving their child a device. 

For many of us, social media has become an extension of our everyday interaction, with platforms like Facebook, X (formerly Twitter), Instagram, Snapchat and TikTok never further than a thumb swipe away.

Children’s use of social media is becoming more and more prevalent, with the current age of digital consent sitting at just 13 years of age.

In very few circumstances this can offer benefits but it also poses significant risks to underage people who aren’t equipped, both technically and emotionally, to deal with social media’s more dangerous corners.

As a Paediatric Psychologist, I expressly note that children should be kept off social media for as long as possible, and absolutely should not be given access prior to a given platform’s recommended age. The dangers far outweigh any positives that may come from early social media interaction.

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Are you kids on social media? Image: iStock

Let's talk about the positives of social media

Social Connectivity: Social media can ease perceived distance between loved ones, allowing easy access to long-distance relationships.

Educational Opportunities: Individuals with areas of special interest can unlock access to information and like-minded groups.

Creativity and Self-Expression: Freedom to carve out an expression of one’s unique self. 

Skill Building: Implementing these skills from a young age gives teens an employable edge over the generations before them.

All of these are great on paper but so much, realistically too much, has to go right for a child’s online experience to remain positive.

RELATED: The problem with sharing our kids on social media

Let's talk about the negatives of social media

Mental Health Issues: Anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem have all been linked to using social media. The constant exposure to curated and often unrealistic ‘lifestyles’ can lead to negative self-comparisons and a distorted self-image. For example, Instagram's portrayal of certain body image and aesthetics can contribute to feelings of inadequacy in children’s own appearance and lifestyles.

Addictive Nature: Platforms like Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, Snapchat and TikTok are designed to keep users engaged for extended periods. The endless scroll of content can lead to children spending excessive amounts of time on their devices. ‘Doom scrolling’ can interfere with their sleep, studies, and real-world interactions​.

Exposure to Inappropriate Content: Despite content moderation efforts, children can easily stumble upon inappropriate material via social media. This includes explicit language, sexual content and violent imagery. Exposure without understanding can lead to warped views around appropriate language use and sextortion. Additionally, viral challenges on platforms like TikTok can pose serious physical risks to children who participate in them without understanding the potential dangers​​… lest we forget ‘planking’.

Cyberbullying and Online Harassment: Research indicates that cyberbullying is associated with increased levels of depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts among adolescents​​. With such easy access to their devices, kids experiencing cyberbullying never get a break from the turmoil, further compounding the negative impacts.

Privacy and Data Security: Many apps collect extensive personal information, including location data, which can be exploited by people with malicious intentions. Parental control over certain settings requires vigilance​​.

RELATED: Parents plead for stricter social media access

Parental Involvement and Monitoring

If your child has reached the age of legal participation in social media, and you have chosen to grant them access, parental involvement is crucial. Here are some steps you can take:

Open Communication: Foster honest and candid lines of communication with your child. Make sure they know you’re available to them if they need to come to you about an online experience. Encourage them to share any concerns or uncomfortable situations they may encounter. NEVER remove their device as a response to a negative situation that’s occurred online. All this will do is stop your child coming to tell you next time.

Set Clear Boundaries: Establish rules around social media usage, including time limits and designated no-phone zones or times. Consistency is key to enforcing these boundaries to prevent overuse and addiction.

Educate About Online Safety: Teach children about the importance of privacy settings and the potential consequences of oversharing personal information online. Help them understand the concept of a digital footprint and how their online activities can impact their future.

Use Parental Control Tools: Utilise the parental control features offered by social media platforms to monitor and manage your child's online activity. Features like TikTok's Family Pairing allow parents to link their accounts with their children's for better supervision.

Encourage Offline Activities: Promote these as much as possible. If your child is partaking in sport, arts and crafts, reading, or family outings regularly they are more likely to be living a balanced lifestyle, reducing their dependence on social media.

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Is there really nothing else for them to do? 

Safe and responsible navigation of the digital world is a particularly tricky tightrope parents and children are walking these days. There are few upsides to social media platforms, none of which with outcomes that can’t be achieved elsewhere in life.

For children, achieving a safe online presence can be a significant challenge, something even more challenging for parents to oversee successfully.

It’s imperative that open communication, setting clear boundaries, and educating children about online safety become the norm. As children mature and begin to show responsibility in their offline lives, they will be far better equipped to navigate their online lives safely. It’s up to parents to judge when their children are ready to join the online community safely and responsibly.

Amanda Abel is a paediatric psychologist, mum, founder of Northern Centre for Child Development, and co-founder of the Toddler Toolkit. Amanda’s mission is for every child to achieve their best outcomes by equipping families and educators with the tools they need to help kids thrive.

Originally published as How is access to social media really affecting our kids?