Edwina Bartholomew: Questions you should ask before you get married

There are six questions divorce lawyers say you should ask before getting married. These are the questions I would add, writes Edwina Bartholomew.

Divorce lawyers believe couples should ask six questions before walking down the aisle, but they’ve probably left a few key ones out.

I’ve been reading up on divorce lawyers. Hold onto your hosiery, gossip columnists, this is all in the name of research. A bunch of lawyers have released the questions you should ask before tying the knot.

They include: Will you take the rubbish out? How much do you earn? Are you sure you need another book? Can we do a pre-nup? Do you have a good relationship with your mum? Do you want children?

The rubbish question addresses the wider issue of the division of labour. Will it be divided along gender lines? How much do you earn feels a little personal for a first date but lawyers suggest you should know if your partner is bringing credit card or HECS debt into the relationship and is a determining factor in having a joint or individual account.

Edwina Bartholomew and husband Neil Varcoe on their weekend wedding. Picture: Edwina Robertson

Are you sure you need another book refers to the pile of unread books sitting beside a bed. Apparently this is indicative of one partner’s propensity to waste money when the other wants to save it. In our bedroom – we both have a pile. I guess that makes us compatible.

The question on mothers comes down to barristers’ experience in the Family Court. They say fathers can play a huge role in a child’s long-term emotional development but it’s the relationship with the mother that really makes a difference.

Presuming the answer to the kid question is a yes, there is a whole raft of other questions I would like to add to the list for a future partner.

It’s one thing to empty the main bin but would you empty the nappy bin? That is very different. And will you painstakingly cook miniature meals knowing that they will be thrown on the floor?

While your wife keeps a tight rein on household finances, will you ignore the series of online shopping purchases that arrive for your daughter? Asking for a friend.

Will you buy the baby books, and actually read them? Will you wake up in the middle of the night when your partner can barely open his/her eyes? And this is just the first few years. We haven’t even scratched the surface on who will take the kids to Saturday sport and who will make the school lunches.

Thankfully, my husband has so far passed with flying colours. I’ll save on the cost of a lawyer … for now.

Originally published as Edwina Bartholomew: Questions you should ask before you get married