My 6yo told me he wished he was never born

“I’m worried. He’s already on waiting lists to talk to various child development specialists, and I had been thinking about looking for a child psychologist, but it’s been hard to find one."

Rebecca* is running out of ideas on how to deal with her son’s nightmares.

Her six-year-old has struggled to fall asleep for “a long time”, and Rebecca says it’s because he can’t get rid of “unpleasant” thoughts.

“Some of these are fantastical (monsters classmates told him about), and some realistic (injuries and deaths, his and others),” she said.

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“I normally put a story on his Echo Dot, I pet him and talk to him if he asks for me, and sometimes he sleeps in our bed.

“Hour of bedtime seems to have no impact, and he doesn’t seem to want to talk about it with dad, just me.

“He calls this ‘nightmares’, but as far as I can tell none of this happens after he falls asleep.”

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Rebecca's son has been struggling to sleep because of his waking nightmares. Picture: iStock

"It breaks my heart that I can't take his nightmares away"

Rebecca said her son’s nighttime problems were strange as he hadn’t experienced any great emotional trauma.

“He hasn’t lost anyone close,” she said.

“One of my friends died last year, and we had to put down one of our cats a few weeks ago which didn’t appear to perturb him.”

Despite this, her son’s issues keep getting worse to the point where he’s now telling Rebecca he wishes he wasn’t born.

“Last night was the worst yet,” she said.

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“About 30 minutes after I put him to bed, he absolutely lost it. He was crying and screaming, and told me if he has to die he wishes he’d never been born.

“I took him to the living room with me, gave him milk and snacks and calmed him down a bit.

“I’m worried. He’s already on waiting lists to talk to various child development specialists, and I had been thinking about looking for a child psychologist, but it’s been hard to find one.

“It breaks my heart that he begs me to take his nightmares away and I can’t.”

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"Death is a difficult subject to grasp"

Rebecca took to Reddit for more advice, and people reassured her that she was doing the best she could.

“I just want to say that I’m a lot like your kid and always have been, but it largely got ignored through my childhood,” one person wrote.

“I’m sure one day your kid is going to be super glad you noticed this and tried to help him through it.

“If it helps point you in any direction, I was finally formally diagnosed with generalised anxiety disorder a few years ago, and a very low dose of daily medicine has helped me immensely.”

“He seems to be afraid of dying more than wishing he was never born,” another person wrote.

“Death is a difficult subject to grasp when you are a child, and it’s scary.

“I can imagine your worry, but it does sound like you’re there for him. Just continue being there for him.”

“Let the boy experience his negative emotions and sit with them and get to know them,” another person suggested.

“It’s not harmful, because every day is not going to be a fantastic day in your life.

“You can remind him the next morning if he feels more centred about how he felt the night before, and say that emotions are passing states that we can learn to befriend and not let control us.”

*Names have been changed.

Originally published as My 6yo told me he wished he was never born